Nursery Rhymes we Didn't have as kids

[atuck]

Nursery Rhymes we
Didn't have as kids.........



Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.



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MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

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JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

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SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you Dumb AXX"

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HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

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[rebeljohn]

Nice..........but VERY tame compared to the ones Andrew Dice Clay used to recite.........