Catch up on your readin', Jolly...
Since I am the Man, and since I am a greedy, closet mooch and since I've got all these newbies fooled and since I have the blessing of the "powers that be" and since none of the old guys will speak against me and since I am, after all, a lower form of life. I think I'll...
Start a box pass. Yeah. And I can put a bunch of mid and low range sticks in it and I can tell everybody they have to "put" BETTER than they "take" (newbies are so stupid and generous they'll never notice) and by the time it gets back to me I will have doubled the quality of cigars in my humidor for the cost of postage on the box once. Wait! I can add another rule where only one cigar can be taken that I didn't put in there that way all the good ones will get back to me... I'm gonna do this right now...
Okay, they noticed and the pass tanked.
Hmmmm the Fuente DVD PIF thread... hmmm... Those guys are having way too much fun sending cigars and a DVD to each other and building friendships where I am not the focus of attention not to mention the focus of all those cigars getting sent to other guys and going to waste..... I've got it. I'll turn this dvd pay it forward into DVD Pay it To MEEEE! For roughly a buck and ten seconds work I can have all these mooks sending me the cigars.
Hey guys, what's up? You know I have a DVD burner...
Beeeeutiful. Worked like a charm. I am rolling in stogies. Genius is such a burden.
Hmmm... My baby was just born and I know that new daddy's usually have a contest of some type but I really have no intention of sending any of these slobs my fine cigars... That's it! The NO CONTEST contest. If I do this just right I can I can have these guys sending ME cigars instead of the way it's usually done.
Uh guys. I don't have any cigars to send, I'm down to my last few, and I don't have any money being a new dad and all and well, instead of a contest I'll just have to tell you...
(Note to self. Great response though no cigars yet. Remember to state pathetically as possible that there is NO PRIZE when you hold a contest.)
Gonna have to post something that'll keep the admiration for me going without costing me anything and... wait, that's it! The NO Prize Contest. Perfect.
Not much response on this. Just my usual groupies.
Need a little quick cash... hmmm... I know I'm a retailer but nobody looks at that thread. Bet I could ge away with selling some stuff in the trade room...
"Refill Ink Cartridges Cheap"
Damn, nobody said a word about me posting this here and the cash is rolling in.,. hmmmm.
"Norton Firewall, Virus protection"
Worked like a charm. Selling these things separately for twice the price of the combined package on EBAY. I am, of course, a genius at this. God I'm great and still nobody notices that a retailer is selling in the trade room PEEEERfect.
Shoot. I hate my logo and the Chamber's book is coming out... maybe I can con these morons into designing me a logo for nothing. Hey, maybe I can con them into designing my WHOLE add for nothing... Worth a shot.
Okay guys, It's the "BEST Logo designer NO prize contest"
They're going for it! I got logo's out the Whazooo and if I keep panning them they'll keep designing them. Lemmings! It's so great to have my own personal band of broth... uh, marks to feed off of.
Man that was the greatest slight of hand yet. I even got ol' Moki to pay actual cash to have some of this stuff done. Cool.
Whoah, this is a great website I just stumbled into, free computer stuff just for scamming guys to sign on to all this ripoff stuff. Hmmm, I'll have to put a disclaimer on this one just in case.
Uh guys, I found this website and they're giving stuff away! Now this may be a scam but it could be REAL good for all of us (and by "us" I mean "ME" of course). We'll all get free stuff just for backing each others play (and by "We" I mean "Me" of course). Since I found it I'm first ( by "I" and "I'm" I mean "NOT YOU" of course)
so just follow this link I'm providing and allow yourselves to be sucked in to the "Let's all benefit ****!) Who? Oh. He's not here!
And all these fools flood to the brink and throw themselves into the abyss just for me. It's all about me after all. I need, so you give and it's not my fault I need, I just do so leave me alone and don't question my motives cause unless you are incredibly stupid you already know what my motives are... Generosity only goes one way at my house. HAH!
Need a few more guys to drink the coolade... hmmmm... Got it! I'll give them something that I already have and will never use but it's a business expense and I already have it! Bandwidth. Of course, anyone with an ISP account already has free bandwicth included in their contract but these people are soooo stupid I'll bet not one of them knows it.
'Free Web hosting... well almost free, all you have to do is...'
Wait!
'Free Domain Names'
Well not exactly free, say $5.00 or $10.00 bucks if you want one. I mean it isn't free and I certainly can't afford to GIVE you anything that isn't FREE. Right?
"Anybody know how to do animated GIFS???"
Wow, not one answer. I think these guys are starting to catch on.
Geez. I know I promised my family to set up a website so we can all share our pictures and the like but I just don't feel like going to all the trouble. Hmmm, maybe I can get one of the suckers to do the work for me! It worked before. I'll have to be careful on this though, somebody might want me to send them something for their trouble.
"Need website help but there are a couple things you may need to know. First, it has to be FREE, I may be a nice guy but I'm not rich. Second...
Ahem.
"Name that Tune" in one note.
NA
Please.
