Oracle of Starbucks

It really nailed my description based on my last 2 Starbucks orders:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink venti carmel macchiato are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall


Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks bananas and creme frappuccino.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
 
Pretty good...LOL

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "piss" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.
 
The Oracle's a snotty little bastid, huh? :laugh:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.

Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
 
The all-knowing Oracle of Starbucks

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Schmuck

You work your ass off because you're obsessed with money and status. You're always lying about having powerful friends. You wouldn't mind sleeping your way to the top but would miss getting to backstab coworkers along the way. All porn stars drink Triple Venti nonfat latte.

Also drinks: $15 martinis
Can also be found: Staring at self in mirror



:laugh:
 
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Asshat

You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink espresso are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.

Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better

:laugh:
 
"Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "Large Scotch" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves."

:laugh: :laugh:
 
And here I thought no one would find out about those wine coolers.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Grande Mocha are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
 
The all seeing- the all knowing- yet somewhat confused Oracle of the Bean said:
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink TALL QUAD ESPRESSO are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.

Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better
Click to expand...

Ok, the personality type may be spot on but “spouting off angry, liberal opinions”?? Oh Puhleeese!!!!
:sign: :sign: :sign:
 
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