Sickest damn joke I ever heard

Devil Doc

When Death smiles, Corpsmen smile back
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Messages
11,594
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife."

"Well, tell me!" the man said.

The policeman said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."

So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Boston harbor."

"Oh my god!" said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, "What's the good news?"

"Well," said the policeman, "when we pulled her up she had two five- pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her."

"If that's the good news, then what's the great news?" Mr. Wilkens demanded.

The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow morning."

Doc.
 

knightlaird

New Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2005
Messages
433
Hi, Doc! Great joke! Maybe this little story is based on an actual true event. Truth is often stranger than fiction. Ha ha! Thank you for sharing this one with us, Doc. Regards, knightlaird
 

Devil Doc

When Death smiles, Corpsmen smile back
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Messages
11,594
Where you been, man. Southern gentlemen like you are few and far in between around here.

Doc.
 

knightlaird

New Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2005
Messages
433
Hi, Doc! Thank you very much for the kind compliment. I have been enjoying the fantastic weather that we are having here in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. Right now, we have sunny skies with a very comfortable 68 degrees. Our extended weather forecast looks great, too. Enjoy the rest of your week, Doc. Regards, knightlaird
 

Dsav101

Women it seems are the antichrist.
Joined
Sep 22, 2007
Messages
1,697
hehehe, that is indeed very funny!! Thanks for the laugh man!
 

CigarStone

For once, knowledge is making me poor!
Joined
Mar 7, 2007
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8,403
May as well turn it into a sick joke thread.....

A man gets a call at work indicating his wife has been in a bad accident, upon arrival at the hospital the doctor tells him his wife will be a vegetable for the rest of her life and begins to list the guys responsibilities......you will have to bathe her in her bed, you will have to clean her up after bowel movements, you will have to feed her with a straw........on and on. After a short silence the guy breaks down ....I will never be able to do all of this and take care of the family while maintaining my job.....he soon becomes hysterical! The doctor slaps him on the back and says "don't worry, I was just F'n with ya, she's dead"!
 

Bargogirl

Never Surrender Your Weapon!! OpFTH
Joined
Apr 1, 2005
Messages
397
Two extremely good sick jokes! I had to endure dead baby jokes and such from my older brother at the dinner table growing up so I can appreciate sick humor.

Doc - Mike use to be a commercial fisherman and diver in WA and when we wanted a big crab instead of dropping a crab pot he would just dive down and pick the biggest! Now we know an alternative should we visit again :laugh: !
 

gtadroptop

You can't make this stuff up
Joined
Dec 13, 2007
Messages
2,952
Doc, I told your joke to my Tuesday after-work drinking buddies. They laughed too.

Jeff, I dunno what to say. Was funny, though.

John
 

parade

Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2007
Messages
140
I used to do some lobster diving. I've came across a few lobster traps along the way. They use dead chicken (not that you can have a live chicken underwater) as bait. Enjoy your lobsters!
 

sack

'From man's sweat and God's love, beer came to be.
Joined
May 11, 2005
Messages
4,858
Now that's funny! :laugh:
 
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