Significant others Ex's.....

bfreebern

bfreebern

Yada, Yada, Yada.
Joined
Jun 22, 2004
Messages
18,546
Location
Tulsa
First Name
Brandon
I have a 5 year old step son who I love tremendously, but his dad is another story. He's the type of person who has to have the best things in life, no matter the sacrifice or cost. He'd rather have money then experiences w/ his son. He's always making little comments to my wife about what he has and what we don't have, wanting to see her boobs and basically saying sh*t about me behind my back. I think he has a short mans syndrome(nothing against those of you that are short). Yada yada yada.

Anyway, we owe'd him $12 for our portion of a copay for my step sons doctor visit and he wanted it yesterday. So me being the smartas* that I am I write him a check for the $12. On the Subject line I put: Penile enlargement surgery. So we pull up to his house and he's outside washing his truck. Christine gets out and I'm cracking up already watching her walk up to him w/ the check. She hands him the check, he reads it and I can see he's pissed. He waits until my wife and their son are both in the car and steps up to her side of the trailblazer, then asks me if I thought it was funny. I said, yes. He goes into this rant about now he knows my maturity level and if I think this is funny, how he's sure I won't find his jokes funny. Well being the smartass that I am (again), I said "Why don't you go grow some balls, learn to take a joke and when your son means more to you then money, come see me and I might apologize then".

Just wondering if any of you fellas have to deal w/ this type of situation?
 
I don't have this issue, but I think you handled it quite well.
You only have a few short years with your kids before they become adults.
That time is precious and should be treasured.
 
sure the joke was a little rude, but in the end, you said what needed to be said, and being from the same situtation from a little kid's stand point, he'll think of you before his own dad. Atleat that's how it is with me and my step dad. :thumbs:
 
HUN-

Listen to me on this one, no matter how well things may seem he will always despise you for the mere fact that you are taking home his piece of sushi! ( sorry if it sounded crass ) That being said I think you handled it well, so well that the next time my ex pulls one of those no huevos having moves I might have to do the same :)
 
you know what brandon, f- him if he can't take a joke, i would have done the same. he is a sperm donor, you are the dad. take care and good luck, p.s. a fish under his front seat is a good one too bro, not that i have ever done that :whistling:
 
Yikes! Dude, I have to deal with this everyday and have been for the past 6 years. I would have to say that your joke wasn't in the best interest of the child. In my opinion none if this should ever take place in front of the children.

I am currently seeing the affects divorce, and non-coparenting, can have on a child years down the road, my yougest daughter is currently 13 and my son is 18. I've held my tongue many times in front of my kids but they have always known my feelings about a given situatuions without me having to say something negative about their mother or stepfather. I do tell them when I don't like a situation, and that I will discuss it with their mother, but I don't ever put them in the middle. Divorce is hard enough on a child and they don't need to deal with the adult sh*t.

:cool:
 
In my humble opinion I think you should give the jerk a call and appologize. I would try to keep the call civil. If you feel really lucky do it in person, but the chance of things getting heated goes way up.

Take the initiative and try to have a working relationship with the guy. You don't have to like him, but you are both working toward the same goal: raising a kid.
If you are bickering all the time it confuses the child. I speak from experience here, my parents divorced when I wass 10.

The kid will do much better if you guys get along at least on the surface. Learn the "hot button" topics and avoid them. Don't let him push your buttons.

In this situation, I think the kids come first, do whatever YOU can to make things as painless for the children as possible.

just my 2 cents worth.

/soapbox mode

It was funny as hell though :laugh:
 
Fish under the front seat? Eegads, thats small potatoes...

Try one of the following:

1) unwrapped limburger cheese on his manifold (or in his car)
2) a potatoe jammed into his tailpipe

Just a suggestion.... :whistling:

Darren


Rob_k said:
you know what brandon, f- him if he can't take a joke, i would have done the same. he is a sperm donor, you are the dad. take care and good luck, p.s. a fish under his front seat is a good one too bro, not that i have ever done that :whistling:
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Come On David, He handled it perfectly. I too live with this everyday. I feed, clothe and send another mans two children to school and college.( Not your average college either, I spend a small fortune every year) anyway I do it because I love the kids as if they were my own and that's just the type of person I am.

I would rather be up front about my feelings and my antics so they knew my real feelings about there dad than hiding them. Unfortunately 6 years ago the EX called me out to fight in the front yard and I had to hurt the man in front of his son. I will never forget how bad that made me feel. Cheekie couldn't have put it any better. Basically you have another mans family and you make them happy, that has to hurt. BAD

The only problem I see with your line of thinking is you said the word Step Son, do you step on him?. That's your son brother and don't ever let anyone tell you different. He may have a father but your his dad. My kids don't call me dad and I wouldn't expect them too. One things for sure, I do feel loved.

Keep up the good work.

Rich
 
I have to go along that the "Penile Enlargement Surgery", while funny, was over the line for the type of relationship you apparently have with this guy. Amongst friends no problems but from my point of view you were just trying to get a rise out of him.... and of course you were successful. :)

The thing here is to rise above the nonsense and be the better man. Its easy to put a smuck like this in his place by laughing at him and saying something to the effect of try growing up or How old are you? Allow him to look like the ass.....

One other thing I would suggest.... set boundaries. To me there would be no reason to take a check to this guy...mail it. Kid transfers for visitation should be set in stone and the only conversation needed is if time or place is to change. Don't allow him to engage your wife in conversation short of the kids interest. Anything else just walk away...he'll get the picture.
 
Brandon, we have the exact situation in my household!

If you want, pm me and I'll share whatever advice I can with you!
 
PTownshend said:
Fish under the front seat? Eegads, thats small potatoes...

Try one of the following:

1) unwrapped limburger cheese on his manifold

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My ex sister-in-law husband did this to my car as a joke at our wedding. :p
 
Deal with ex's... Crap - I've got to deal with cleaning off the grape Nehi I shot all over my computer monitor and desk when I read your post.... Focker... :laugh:
 
oh man, that was funny :laugh: . I deal with all sorts of idiots your ex's b/f in my line of work (legal). You definately brightened my day! :thumbs:
 
I do see both sides. This is the first time I've ever done anything like this to him.

Kenny/David.....I understand totally and 99% that's how I am. He's always the one starting stuff and I usually just blow it off. I like to think that I'm the more mature one, but this just felt good for once. I also do agree that things like this shouldn't happen in front of Kade. I know for a fact that his dad says things to him about me (b/c kade has told me), but I don't ever reciprocate. The good thing is that he was playing w/ the boy that my wife watches, so he really didn't hear anything.

Rich....he does call me Brandon, or Brandy depending on my "sons" mood. Every once in a while he'll call me dad and I just roll w/ it.

Glad to see that I'm not the only one that has to deal w/ this kind of crap.
 
THANK GOD....
E's Ex is pretty damn cool!!

She has had her moments of concern about kids being around me at first , but, hell those are her cubs and I can understand, sympathize, and empathize with her on that one so there was no stress or drama. Funny enough it took a short while after that we were able to have the kids for a few hours, which was a blast.
I have to admit that I have never been so impressed by a significant other's EX in my life!
They both work hard to make sure the kids are set and have the best they can offer.
I walked away from our first meeting saying " too bad she's your ex... she totally seems like some one I could raise hell with!!"

Now my ex beast is just the worst and seems not to be getting anybetter after a year. :rolleyes:
 
i think what you did is really funny

and the child didn't see the check, right?

if the guy got angry, he really needs to take the check an buy a sense of humor....
 
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