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Simple Home Remidies

Hillbilly Steaks

Hillbilly Steaks

Dr. BBQ
Joined
Jan 2, 2006
Messages
2,481
Location
North Carolina
:laugh:

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies


1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. About lifting the toilet seat by si mply
using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a
timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget
all about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape .

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
 
The only thing that scares me in that list is #10.

"10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom."

You just know that there is a hillariously funny story attached to a comment like that. And it usually starts with I was driving in my car at night and ends with a change of underwear.

Fish

PS - If you can accidently get a rib bone caught in your throat maybe natural selection is the best answer. Or else it was just DAMN GOOD BBQ SAUCE!
 
LOL!

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Sound advice that.
In fact, my Senior Sergeant told me that one when I was but a green-faced, wet-behind-the-ears-lad about to embark in the wonderful world of Military Law Enforcement.

He said "Son, never pass up the opportunity to take a piss".

To this day I tell it to all the new fledgling LEO's I end up working with.
Along with other sage tibits like, "If you can see the guy shooting at you, he can see you too", "A car body may be effective concealment, but it is NOT effective cover", "If you can't see the guys hands, it's even money he's got a weapon", and finally, "Don't be afraid to go Code 6, and call in the world. We'd much rather monday-morning quarterback your decision while you're still alive than to do it after your funeral."

-Tim :cool:
 
LOL!

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Sound advice that. In fact, my Senior Sergeant told me that one when I was but a green-faced, wet-behind-the-ears-lad about to embark in the wonderful world of Military Law Enforcement.

He said "Son, never pass up the opportunity to take a piss".

To this day I tell it to all the new fledgling LEO's I end up working with.
Along with other sage tibits like, "If you can see the guy shooting at you, he can see you too", "A car body may be effective concealment, but it is NOT effective cover", "If you can't see the guys hands, it's even money he's got a weapon", and finally, "Don't be afraid to go Code 6, and call in the world. We'd much rather monday-morning quarterback your decision while you're still alive than to do it after your funeral."

-Tim :cool:
 
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Classic words to live by :laugh:
 
If it bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die, don't trust it.

If it flies, floats, or f@cks, you're better off renting it.
 
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