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Tequila Christmas Cake

Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
1,851
Location
Charleston, SC for THREE YEARS!
Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. (I already sampled it.....several
times to check the quality)

Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point its best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try
Another
cup...just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the tequila.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.


CHERRY MISTMAS!
 
Funny, old but still funny.

On another note I have legit recipes for Chocolate Guiness Pie (extremely rich, but oh so good) and a 7 Layer Jello that's great for the kiddies and when you substitute soju, sake or vodka for the water, great for adults too. Now to mention the obligatory holiday Hot Buttered Rum.

-K-
 
That is freakin hysterical!! I would probably try it if I didnt think I would be on the floor after putting in the damn fruit!

Melly
 
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