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The Inclimate Weather Contest

I was golfing last year in a business league I play in and after looking for my lighter for two holes, I gave up on the idea of smoking my stick. To be honest, I was a little upset, but mostly embarrassed. On the 5th hole, I spotted a family bbqing in their back yard and they had their fire pit going. I was feeling bold so I asked if I could use their pit to light up! I shot my worst round of the season that day, but I got to enjoy my cigar ;)
 
Smoking in the house is a non-starter so I've created two outdoor areas that more than meet my needs. The covered patio gets set up just before Easter and pack away (like shown) just after Thanksgiving. The hot tub gets drained for the summer but from September to the end of May you'll find it anywhere from 100 to 105 depending on the air temps and unless its coming down sideway an umbrella works fine in the rain. View media item 12122 View media item 12121
Edit to say; thanks for the contest!
That looks like a tarpped motorcycle under the patio???
 
I was golfing last year in a business league I play in and after looking for my lighter for two holes, I gave up on the idea of smoking my stick. To be honest, I was a little upset, but mostly embarrassed. On the 5th hole, I spotted a family bbqing in their back yard and they had their fire pit going. I was feeling bold so I asked if I could use their pit to light up! I shot my worst round of the season that day, but I got to enjoy my cigar ;)

HA! This is great!

And Larry, that hawk brings back memories. Lol. Poor little guy.
 
So the element that keeps me from smoking is my wife and daughter. On my nights off when I do decide to have a cigar the "littleone" inevitably wakes up 10 minutes into the cigar and screams at the sliding glass door after wandering around to find me. By the time I get her back to sleep, Bri has found her way outside to finish my cigar and is already in the shower. So it ends up being a win/win for me even though I don't get to enjoy the cigar. And no, I won't post any pictures of her in the shower for you perverts!!
 
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That looks like a tarpped motorcycle under the patio???

No, just pile of very eclectic furnishings that change out as they wear out. All hand me downs, Good Will finds and curb side pick ups. Lots of wood and whicker. My wife used to use spray paint to change the colors every couple of years now she's got electric paint spray gun and its become one of her hoopby's. We've decorated in various motifs over the years but it always comes back to Caribbean or Mexican.
 
So the element that keeps me from smoking is my wife and daughter. On my nights off when I do decide to have a cigar the "littleone" inevitably wakes up 10 minutes into the cigar and screams at the sliding glass door after wandering around to find me. By the time I get her back to sleep, Bri has found her way outside to finish my cigar and is already in the shower. So it ends up being a win/win for me even though I don't get to enjoy the cigar. And no, I won't post any pictures of her in the shower for you perverts!!

I'm just glad you didn't volunteer to post your shower pictures. Weirdo.
 
Over the years I've learned to battle quite a few different elements. In Iraq is was obviously the heat, resorting to wet cool towels around the neck, on top of the head, and even purchased a misting fan to blow water on my face. Really the only thing that worked well was to wait until evening when it was only 95 or so.

In the winter, I would bundle up, put my heat bulbs attached to the propane on and watch Apple TV in my garage. After awhile the propane fumes would be noticable, but whatever was needed to smoke was done. I would even bring out a thick blanket for my dog Bindi Boo to lay on the floor next to me....she had to of course.

I've misplaced many a cutter, having to resort to teeth or kitchen knives...but no big deal. I've lit from the stove and even camp fires.

In short, no matter the elements....as long as I have the cigar...it'll get smoked one way or another.
 
A different kind of "battling the elements" post here. This past summer I went to Maine for the first time. We got a place in Wells, right across the street from the beach. Down near the beach, there is a place of residence built on every single square inch of available space. Little tiny roads built just to get to homes that are built in what should be the backyard of other homes. Where we were staying was a unit of ~10 condos, 1st and 2nd floors. A bunch of people in a small space. When I wanted a smoke, I'd usually go for a walk or, like I did my second night there, hit the beach.

This is Wells Beach at sunrise.

R9ND7Oc.jpg


We had gone to the beach earlier that day. It was beautiful. It was low tide, but you can see just how far up the water came when the tide was in. Or so I thought.

That night once my wife and son went to sleep, I grabbed a couple beers, a blanket, and went to the beach for a cigar. Because it was pitch black on the beach, I didn't go too far from the walkway. There was a whole bunch of large rocks just off the walkway, then sand. Once I was walking on sand, I went a couple more feet, then set up shop. Clipped the smoke, lit it, and cracked open a beer.

I was sitting there just staring up at the sky, enjoying the view. Living so close to NYC, the light pollution here is awful. I was taking it all in. But man, that water sounded kinda loud. I knew the tide must was coming in. No big deal, I was still a good 6' or so from what looked like the high water line from when I was on the beach earlier in the day. The cigar is just starting to hit the sweet spot, and I'm opening my 2nd beer and holy crap the water is loud now. I thought for a second to flip on my flashlight and see what was going on, but decided against it. I am positive I knew where the high water line was, I was nowhere near it, and even still, there's no way in hell the tide was going to reach where I was.

And then with the loud rush of a wave, I felt the blanket get wet. What the hell?!? I flip on the flashlight. Sure enough, it was coming for me. I checked my watch, and I was still a good 15-20 minutes from high tide. I grabbed all my stuff, ran back over the rocks to the walkway, and walked down the street to a parking lot area that had benches ~10' above beach level. Tons of light there, so the star gazing sucked. But it was quiet, I was able to finish my beer and my cigar. And up there I had a great vantage point of just how high high tide in Maine can be. And a good laugh at the guy walking around in the water down below me trying to catch a Pokemon.

Thanks for the contest!
 
A different kind of "battling the elements" post here. This past summer I went to Maine for the first time. We got a place in Wells, right across the street from the beach. Down near the beach, there is a place of residence built on every single square inch of available space. Little tiny roads built just to get to homes that are built in what should be the backyard of other homes. Where we were staying was a unit of ~10 condos, 1st and 2nd floors. A bunch of people in a small space. When I wanted a smoke, I'd usually go for a walk or, like I did my second night there, hit the beach.

This is Wells Beach at sunrise.

R9ND7Oc.jpg


We had gone to the beach earlier that day. It was beautiful. It was low tide, but you can see just how far up the water came when the tide was in. Or so I thought.

That night once my wife and son went to sleep, I grabbed a couple beers, a blanket, and went to the beach for a cigar. Because it was pitch black on the beach, I didn't go too far from the walkway. There was a whole bunch of large rocks just off the walkway, then sand. Once I was walking on sand, I went a couple more feet, then set up shop. Clipped the smoke, lit it, and cracked open a beer.

I was sitting there just staring up at the sky, enjoying the view. Living so close to NYC, the light pollution here is awful. I was taking it all in. But man, that water sounded kinda loud. I knew the tide must was coming in. No big deal, I was still a good 6' or so from what looked like the high water line from when I was on the beach earlier in the day. The cigar is just starting to hit the sweet spot, and I'm opening my 2nd beer and holy crap the water is loud now. I thought for a second to flip on my flashlight and see what was going on, but decided against it. I am positive I knew where the high water line was, I was nowhere near it, and even still, there's no way in hell the tide was going to reach where I was.

And then with the loud rush of a wave, I felt the blanket get wet. What the hell?!? I flip on the flashlight. Sure enough, it was coming for me. I checked my watch, and I was still a good 15-20 minutes from high tide. I grabbed all my stuff, ran back over the rocks to the walkway, and walked down the street to a parking lot area that had benches ~10' above beach level. Tons of light there, so the star gazing sucked. But it was quiet, I was able to finish my beer and my cigar. And up there I had a great vantage point of just how high high tide in Maine can be. And a good laugh at the guy walking around in the water down below me trying to catch a Pokemon.

Thanks for the contest!
Great story Tom! Maine has some beautiful areas for sure and that tide will sneak up on you quickly... LOL
 
At the risk of instant disqualification, the English teacher in the thread would like to point out that it's "inclement." o_O

South Texas is balmy year round, and I smoke indoors where there's A/C (and with a window exhaust fan). Most of my struggles involve finding a working lighter, because mine crap out on me constantly.

~Boar
 
At the risk of instant disqualification, the English teacher in the thread would like to point out that it's "inclement." o_O

South Texas is balmy year round, and I smoke indoors where there's A/C (and with a window exhaust fan). Most of my struggles involve finding a working lighter, because mine crap out on me constantly.

~Boar

I stand corrected. And here I've been calling myself a writer. Shameful.
 
"Often mistakenly used when the phrase "inclement weather" should be used, the phrase "inclimate weather" actually means "unseasonable weather" due to climate change.

"Inclement weather" means "unpleasant weather which is stormy, rainy, or snowy," and that can also be the meaning of "inclimate weather" when the weather is supposed to be pleasant. However, when the climate and the time of year normally would bring stormy, rainy, or snowy weather, "inclimate weather" is sunny or pleasant weather." Per the Urban dictionary, but I'm not even sure inclimate is an English word, it was rejected by my Scrabble dictionary, hahaha.
 
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