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The Monkey

Pugman1943

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
8,676
Location
Duncanville, TX (near Dallas)
If you need a good laugh, try this out:

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.

He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.

To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole. The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?" "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball." The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the Monkey ate and left.

Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar. The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it. Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" "No, what?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He will eat anything, but ever since he had to shit out that cue ball, he measures everything first."
 
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. A woman
standing at the bar can't help but notice and say "excuse me, but did you know
you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate looks at the woman and
says "Arrr, I do, and it's drivin me nuts!"
 
 
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