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The Shower

benjiev

"The Honorable"
Joined
Dec 5, 2001
Messages
2,171
Hope everyone is having a great day!

How To Shower Like a Woman
>
> Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
> to lights and darks.
> Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see
>husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
> Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
>to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.
>
> Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43
>added vitamins.
>Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your
>hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
>
>Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
>minutes until red.
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
>wash.
> Rinse conditioner off hair.
>
> Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet
> surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>
> Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>
>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
>head If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
> How To Shower Like a Man
>
> Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
>leave them in a pile.
> Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
>shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
>
> Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
>
> Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
> Rinse off and get out of shower.
>
> Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because
>curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
>Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
>
> Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife,
>pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
> Throw wet towel on bed.
>
> If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth
>behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.

BenjieV :D
 
You need to add a stop by the humidor to admire the collection of cigars just after the second "woo-woo"
 
Hey Benji, have you got an I - Spy camera in my bedroom linked to your computer where you see our daily routines...... :D :thumbs: :p :sign: :D
 
gawntrail said:
Where's that dancing Banana when you need it?
Personally I prefer the Carrot:
carrot.gif




The shower thing was great. Woo Woo!
 
WOW I almost peed myself reading this! Good one Ben!

JV
 
Good one, Ben! I laughed out loud and woke my wife up. :sign:

Floyd T. :sign:
 
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