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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

Thoughts

Thoughts

Forehead wrinkle king
Joined
Mar 3, 2018
Messages
2,856
Figured that I would go ahead and get some Eyerolls and heavy sighs from someone other than my wife. So I’m starting a dad joke thread. Feel free to add your own favorites!

Apparently, Steve Irwin was planning on coming out with a sunscreen line before he died. However, during testing phase it failed out…

Turns out, it did not protect from harmful rays
 
Thoughts said:
Figured that I would go ahead and get some Eyerolls and heavy sighs from someone other than my wife. So I’m starting a dad joke thread. Feel free to add your own favorites!

Apparently, Steve Irwin was planning on coming out with a sunscreen line before he died. However, during testing phase it failed out…

Turns out, it did not protect from harmful rays
Click to expand...
Too soon.
 
A guy walks into a pet store. “You got any bees?“ The pet store owner says “sure, how many do you want?“ The guy says “give me a dozen bees.“

The owner lines up 13 bees on the counter and counts them out.“Here you go, that should be all of them.“ The guy looks at the counter and says, “no I want to 12 bees, what’s this extra one?” Pet shop owner says, “that’s a freebee.”
 
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they would be baygulls
 
Scap said:
Ever noticed how when geese fly they form a V shape? Usually, one side is longer than the other. Do you know why?



More birds!
Click to expand...
This reminded me of another joke, what do you call someone that eats 3.14 pies....fat, you call them fat. Yours was much better tho.
 
Are "Little Johnny" jokes appropriate for this thread?
 
One of the cleaner ones....lol

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding
at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail
them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is
greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly
hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him
$40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the
mailman at his front door.

The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then
come give your daddy a great big hug!"
 
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