No Problem, I've heard damn near all of them
A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''
The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''
The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''
What Army really means...
A ren't
R eady for
M arines
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27 reasons why McDonald's is better than the Navy
1. If you have to take a piss, you can go take a piss. No questions asked.
2. You'll never have to go port and starboard on the fryer.
3. Better pay.
4. The ability to quit!
5. McDonald's doesn't deploy.
6. They have actual janitors.
7. No McDrills.
8. The grill breaks....You CALL someone to fix it.
9. No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a 30 minute dissertation over the P.A. on the importance of being at the register 15 minutes early.
10. McDonald's will eventually fire the ***REALLY*** stupid employees.
11. If McDonald's catches fire, you leave.
12. Someone else makes the water.
13. Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door. (no shirt, no shoes, no service)
14. At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting the "good deal"
15. If you want to buy your boss a beer, thats okay.
16. If you want to tell your boss to "**** off and just die, just ****ing die" that's okay too.
17. There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.
18. No one will wake you at 2 in the morning to start the grill.
19. Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty damn slim.
20. $2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonalds
21. You don't have to go single register operations if someone spills a Coke.
22. McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Shutdown Register Operator and a McRoving Watch.
23. You don't have to come in to work at 7am only to wait around for an hour for your boss to tell you things you already knew.
24. If you burn a hamburger, they won't take away half a month's pay for
two months and restrict you to the playground.
25. You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter, JUST BECAUSE.
26. You scrub the floors because it's dirty, not because it's Wednesday.
27. ALL of the articles of the Constitution apply to you at McDonald's