Parting Comments

Well fellas, it's been quite a week. Don't you think? For the first time, in like 8-10 years of posting on community boards, I've been run outta town. First for me! This has been on my mind most of the week and quite frankly, has hurt my feelings more than just a little. I'm one of those few, a minority these days, that actually cares what people think of me. I've lived my life this way and it's done me well so far.

I've checked in daily to see if any of my PMs were answered but none were so I'll consider the matter closed on Cigar Pass' end.

To Double D Jul 29 2008, 03:36 PM

First of all, I'm sure I'll not post here again because this has been so blow out of proportion by people, and I'll have to say you also, that have no idea what was going on behind the pages that I'll never be able to dig my way out much less be welcome.

The cartoon didn't have any political undertones what so ever. It had everything to do with not being able to purchase Cuban Cigars legally for the last 45 years but that's not the point nor the reason for the gang rape.

The Newbie Pass, let me say this again...The NEWBI Pass was something I was interested in but didn't really think I'd qualify for. Then Gary sent me the enclosed PM. Since Gary seems to be the #2 guy running this pass I figured I would try to post up and qualify. I do this in a couple of days and all of a sudden everybody is giving me shit over it. The cartoon shows up and that gets totally misunderstood so I figure I'd better try to explain at least what I was trying to do. Hell, they were wanting to ban me over the stupid cartoon. The explanation was made by me and instead for explaining anything it just opened up a whole new can of worms. By the time you waded in with your post, which btw really pissed me off, I let my temper get the best of me and violated my usual #1 rule and posted while I was mad. Well I don't have to tell you what happened then. I got to feeling bad about putting up the troll picture but not bad enough to be really sorry for it. I PM you with a half-ass'd apology, sent Gary a link to the thread and slept on it. Today I was pissed at myself for posting shit while I was mad and decided to try to salvage the situation. I'm still not saying I was wrong to post whore this weekend because the #2 guy in the pass encouraged me to do it. I'm just saying this looks like a good place to be and it seems that's not an option now. For what ever it's worth, I am sorry I instituted you were trolling me.



Gary's PMs and please note the dates.....

You Can Do It!, Jul 25 2008, 03:47 PM


Ye Old Newbie
****

Group: Members
Posts: 352
Member No.: 7671
Joined: 8-April 08




Come on Bear.....

You have 2 1/2 days to get to the minimum 100 posts for the contest!

Get involved and start talking it up man!....pass some of that B&M knowledge along to these young kids.

You can do it laugh.gif

Gary
aka - ironpeddler


Jul 27 2008, 08:09 PM

Holy crap!...I haven't been on most of the W/E and I just saw that you have 102 posts!!!!

You must have been a posting MF....

Now set your alarm for early this morning and roll the dice

Good Luck

Gary

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New PM
Sorry for the Drama, Jul 29 2008, 04:28 PM





To Tod
Group: Members
Posts: 109
Member No.: 8249
Joined: 15-July 08

I just really want to say that this whole thing has been a misunderstanding from the beginning. It was a misunderstanding till I got mad. Then I was an asshat but if you kick a dog enough, he's gonna bite back. These guys were merciless to me over a situation they never understood what was happening and what I was being told behind the posts. Gary told me to get my post count up by Monday so I could get into the newbe pass. He seems to be the #2 guy running the pass so I did. I was wrong for posting while I was mad but hell, read the shit they all said about me. I'm just sorry I'll never dig my way out of this because it seems like a good place to be. Sorry for all the Drama.


Bear Kidwill aka Brazilla



Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
Your incompetence doesn't require my urgency....

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First of all I'd like to say I appreciate those who posted helpful comments and strained understanding. I doubt many people fully understand my side of this. My regret is posting while angry and for that I will suffer the consequence. I also appreciate those who PM'd me with kind advise and insight on some of the people who propagated the incident, making it front page news for days.

I appreciate those who were so interested in the affair they carried it over into other threads. I was so entertained by one particular insult that I incorporated it into my signature. I appreciate the taunts, encouraging me to continue to post after clearly, anything else said would have been non-productive if not even more destructive.

I appreciate the kind words and encouragement given to me by the one person that got me into all this to begin with but never, I repeat never once publicly came to my defense. In his defense, I would have done the same as he for I'm sure he's seen this kind of “Rush to Judgment” before and didn't want his ass to be held in the same high regard as mine.

I'm particularly sorry about the trolling incident. Dale didn't deserve that and I can only say he was a victim of collateral damage. I knew nothing of him and had never seen any of his posts. Once again Dale, I'm truly sorry for the insinuation. To single you out with such a target rich environment here was totally unfair.

Lastly, I would like to thank the one person that did come to my defense. Coincidently, he's the only person here that knows me in real life and knows who I really am.

I've heard you're a pretty nice fellow. Good for you, but WE aren't running you off. YOU are tucking tail and running. The beef I, and I'd guess most others have with you HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CARTOON. I defended that one against the "no politics" rule. You issued a conditional apology to Dale. This isn't bowing homage to the old guys. This is common courtesy that is an integral part of this community. Your ego got in the way. Reconsider your attitude, or don't let the door hit you in the ass.

I hope you find better luck on another board. You do not have to leave but that is your decision.

-Mark

For fuck's sake, stop falling on your sword. You haven't been run off. You could have made this all go away very easily.

Even now, your "apology" is laced with sarcasm and belly aching about others' actions with very little remorse for your own missteps. A simple "I'm sorry, I was wrong" a few days ago would have put all of this in the past and you cold have already begun rebuilding relationships here.

I hate to give you the attention that a post like this begs for, but you were wrong, you refuse even now to take full responsibility for it, and you've decided to take your ball and go home.

Enjoy your juice box and orange slices...

So IronPeddler encouraged you to get your post count up to join the pass, even though your join date would deem you ineligible to participate? Hmm...



Some rethinking and attention to detail on both parties could have saved a bit of this drama. :shrug:

"They say in war truth be the first casuality..."

You haven't been banned. Stick around. Make good. Press the ignore button when you need to. Don't sweat it, it's not like you slept with somebody's wife.

Or did you?

I, for one, would be happy to be proven wrong; and you've already taken a decent first step. Stick around.

Brazilla said:

I'm particularly sorry about the trolling incident. Dale didn't deserve that and I can only say he was a victim of collateral damage. I knew nothing of him and had never seen any of his posts. Once again Dale, I'm truly sorry for the insinuation. To single you out with such a target rich environment here was totally unfair.

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This by the way, is why people are having problems with the way you have handled yourself here. This is a great and I don't doubt heartfelt apology....Ruined by a final jab of conditionality.

Nobody is running you off. If you should stay, and truly join this community, you just may find us defending you the way we're defending Dale.

And, I see you've joined my fan club. Based on when I made it, the dickweed comment stands. There are no moderators here to "protect us", so yes, we can be ruthless.

There are 3 parts to an apology, and "but" isn't one of them.

1. I'm sorry
2. Admit your mistake, taking responsibility for your part of the problem
3. Ask how you can make this right

That is contrition.

mmburtch said:

Brazilla said:

I'm particularly sorry about the trolling incident. Dale didn't deserve that and I can only say he was a victim of collateral damage. I knew nothing of him and had never seen any of his posts. Once again Dale, I'm truly sorry for the insinuation. To single you out with such a target rich environment here was totally unfair.

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This by the way, is why people are having problems with the way you have handled yourself here. This is a great and I don't doubt heartfelt apology....Ruined by a final jab of conditionality.

Nobody is running you off. If you should stay, and truly join this community, you just may find us defending you the way we're defending Dale.

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Perhaps, but I wouldn't count on it. IMO, Brazilla, the only thing you've got going for you is mr.mac's recommendation in the thread that started this meltdown.

No one is running you off, but if you are going to leave, just leave. All this "parting shot" bull s#!t makes my head ache......

B.B.S.

BlindedByScience said:

No one is running you off, but if you are going to leave, just leave. All this "parting shot" bull s#!t makes my head ache......

B.B.S.

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:sign:

I smelled the meltdown coming... like burnt flesh lol

souldog24ca said:

So IronPeddler encouraged you to get your post count up to join the pass, even though your join date would deem you ineligible to participate? Hmm...



Some rethinking and attention to detail on both parties could have saved a bit of this drama. :shrug:

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Yes I did souldog. When Jonesy invited Doc Wiley and he was onboard CP for less than 2 months, I didn't see an issue here. I saw Bear posting in quite a few forums over the past few weeks and I liked what he had to say which made me think he had something to offer participating in a Newbie Pass. He's a 57yo guy that has worked in B&Ms and has smoked cigars for some time. That's why I said, "pass some of that B&M knowledge along to these young kids." I see nothing wrong with that suggestion.

Now look at my PMs. I encouraged someone to get involved in the CP Community...nothing more, nothing less. I didn't suggest doing anything wrong or to run up his post count in an unscrupulous way....just to get involved and spread some of his knowledge throughout the community. If he makes it, good for him, if he didn't, at least he tried to get more involved. On a rainy weekend I can toss out 30-40 posts without a problem and as you guys can attest to, I'm a bit long winded and like to nurture the new guys while passing along my experiences from 32 years of smoking cigars.

Then in my second PM to Bear, when I saw he posted to the minimum number to participate in the contest Jonesy let me run....I said congrats on getting that involved over the weekend and good luck in the contest. Still, I don't see anything wrong. At that point I didn't think his join date was a factor but I did realize that Doc Wiley would have been onboard CP over 3 months by the time the Newbie Pass started....my mistake.

Then Bear sent me another PM bringing that thread to my attention (which I hadn't seen yet) and that he got upset at a few members. This is some of what I said to him in that message.....

Reosting around here can be tricky, Jul 29 2008, 09:55 AM

Bear,

Ouch! I feel your pain. Like my Father always told me..."least said, best said". I know how easy it is to get mad or have someone misinterpreted what your true meaning was, at times you feel drawn out to post something angry. But the best advice in that thread was..."step away from the keyboard".

You have a lot to offer this community with your point of view, so don't be discouraged. Maybe lay low for a few weeks (keep posting mildly) and see how you feel about it then....please don't just give up and leave.

Let it go for now, you've done all you can do...maybe add a final post to that thread and apologize to the community while biting your tongue!!!...lol Just make it short and sweet.

Without getting too involved, there may be another opportunity for a Pass early next year, I would love to see you involved in that one....just don't ruffle any more feathers!

Good Luck

Gary

Now once again I feel I'm encouraging a fellow cigar smoker to chill out and give it another shot down the road, especially on the heals of the Cory thing....but with a big difference...Cory was a kid, Bear is a man.

Now, the reason I didn't respond when Bear said.."Ironpeddler will back me up on this" was that at that point, the Senior members got involved and it was not my place to defend a guy that they already had a strong opinion on. What Bear did was not solely my fault...I didn't make him say what he said and I didn't tell him to post a picture of the fishing boat doing the trolling (I still don't know what that means). Look at the time of my response in that PM and you will see that he chose not to take my advice totally. He posted a Community apology but then said something in a PM to another Senior member that sent him on his way to discontent.

In my short time here I have observed the rules and shown respect to everyone...young and old. I read way more than I post and I think before I comment. I watch my spelling, capitalize where needed, make my comments easy to read, and know the difference between your and you're. I would hope that anyone who has taken the time to get to know me, read some of my comments or traded PMs with me will at least say I'm a decent, honorable contributing member to this cigar community. As far as souldog's comment of "Some rethinking and attention to detail on both parties could have saved a bit of this drama"....'Rethinging' is learning and 'attention to detail' means I missed somthing while doing a ton of reading regarding joining a Cigar Pass. I live, I learn.

I still stand by Bear, from my point of view he seems like a nice guy from what I read about him and what he had to say in his postings up to that horrid thread....it's all any of us have to go by.

I look forward to any feedback in regards to my comments.

Brazilla,
Please learn from the experience. A lot of fun to be had here. Every place we go has rules and customs.
Your life will be more rich for the effort.

ironpeddler said:

I look forward to any feedback in regards to my comments.

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Here you go then, Gary...

In your short time at CigarPass, you've shown yourself to be more of an adult, more of a man than I've encountered here in a long time.

Wilkey

Let the thread die.

grateful1 said:

Let the thread die.

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OMFG!!! What thread .

Jim

Ginseng said:

ironpeddler said:

I look forward to any feedback in regards to my comments.

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Here you go then, Gary...

In your short time at CigarPass, you've shown yourself to be more of an adult, more of a man than I've encountered here in a long time.

Wilkey

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This is true.

Too bad this guy took your advice the wrong way and then threw you under the bus at the first opportunity. It sounds like he may have been able to contribute some knowledge to the board. A simple real apology could have avoided all of this. All of the qualifications and "I apologize but you're still wrong" is not something that's going to work.

I guess this just shows us all that we have to make sure the advice we give to others is crystal clear. I know I'll watch the advice I give to those who ask a little closer in the future.

LilBastage said:

Too bad this guy took your advice the wrong way and then threw you under the bus at the first opportunity. It sounds like he may have been able to contribute some knowledge to the board. A simple real apology could have avoided all of this. All of the qualifications and "I apologize but you're still wrong" is not something that's going to work.

I guess this just shows us all that we have to make sure the advice we give to others is crystal clear. I know I'll watch the advice I give to those who ask a little closer in the future.

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I have to agree with Alan, as usual, in his responses, he could not have said it better himself. As far as you go Gary, I have no qualms with you, as I am sure you rendered that advice to Brazilla with the most sincere intentions. Unfortunately, he skewed your advice of his own accord, and as he stated, he posted when he was angry. Words were said, ego swelled, and a "conditional apology" was presented as the best he desired to give.


As for Brazilla, I understand you may have experience smoking cigars, and working in a shop, and that's very fine and dandy, good for ya. But it's up to you where you stand in here. This back-and-forth business is getting silly.

LilBastage said:

Too bad this guy took your advice the wrong way and then threw you under the bus at the first opportunity.

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Hey Brazilla, this here fella is a "superhero" by the name of BLUE FALCON:



Just thought I'd share it with you, for what THAT'S worth...