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A few thoughts about the "friendliest" cigar forum

MX

Quietly getting back into the cigar culture.....
Joined
Jun 5, 2007
Messages
4,021
The last few weeks it has not seemed very friendly. In fact there are a few people that seem to be going out of their way to stalk post by members they have decide to not like.

In my humble opinion, that is the very definition of "trolling"
There are those that post here that I don't care for they way the write, come across, or other things, but I just ignore it and move on, especially if they are not going out of their way to be confrontational.

Maybe it is me, and I have the definition of friendliest all wrong and I need to take a step back.

Tim
 
You know I’m really sorry if I offended you, in my post about the writing skills of a certain member here, however, I was just being honest and I really couldn’t read what he was trying to say. I stopped after a couple of sentences for my own edification of course. And I just thought I would let him know about it so if it offended you I am very sorry.

I’m still a very friendly guy just ask anyone who knows me .
 
We continue to be friendly by pointing out the rules that have made this place a great wealth of information and fellowship. It only takes a little effort to abide by the rules and make yourself at home. That guy Golfgar is another issue alltogether!
 
The last few weeks it has not seemed very friendly. In fact there are a few people that seem to be going out of their way to stalk post by members they have decide to not like.

In my humble opinion, that is the very definition of "trolling"
There are those that post here that I don't care for they way the write, come across, or other things, but I just ignore it and move on, especially if they are not going out of their way to be confrontational.

Maybe it is me, and I have the definition of friendliest all wrong and I need to take a step back.

Tim
I agree with most of what you are saying and never personally (sp) chase anyone. But.......when someone shits on my lawn after he’s told it wrong to do so.......he deserves what he gets until he changes his actions.

Edit because I know I spell like a child.
 
Tim,

I hope anything I have done has not offended you either. I agree and don't usually respond to things I don't care for, but there has been a lot of constructive comments lately that have gone ignored, IMHO. I always just move on, but after the billionth time, I had just had it.

PS: I agree with @thinde
 
Guys, I am not talking about post or interactions that correct or point out how we do things around here, or any post that defend the culture of our community.

What has really made me stop and think are the post that offer nothing, they are just plain rude and mean spirited.

No one here needs to apologize to me, I am not mad or offended, just talking out-loud to my fellow Brothers and Sisters here in a place that I truly care about.

Tim

eta: please forgive any typos- stared working on a tiny Chromebook......keyboard is small
 
I'm in the same boat as you. This specific member has already stated that he is not well educated and has issues with his grammar. You can tell that he is trying his best because he is using some kind of punctuation (even if grammatically incorrect). I don't see the point of continuing to attack someone like that over and over. I'm not the star of grammar, and I try my best to write properly. English is my second language and I actually really learned it when I was around 23 years old so I understand where this guy is coming from. I graduated college with honors and still have difficulties with the use of some words. I was once "attacked" or "pointed out" by a member here for writing "in" and "on" incorrectly, but in the Spanish language these two words mean the exact same thing (use google translate and see for yourself), so for someone that grew up his whole life using one word for both of these words, it's sometimes difficult do differentiate them. This same member makes grammatical errors all of the time and I have never gone out of my way to say anything about it.

My point is, if you see that someone is trying to write properly, and this person is not using ALL CAPS, all lower case, no punctuation at all then I understand. But if you see that the person is actually trying his/her best, has already explained why he does it, then there is nothing you can say or do to fix this issue because it means that he/she is not doing it on purpose to annoy anyone. At the end of the day, this is a cigar forum and not a grammar forum, people come here to get to know other cigar smokers and not to get schooled on how to write a proper paragraph. No one wants to feel that they can't express themselves or write about something because the grammar police is on stand by to point out your errors and make you feel like an idiot.

Don't take this post the wrong way or personally.
 
When I was in engineering school, I wanted to join a local ham radio club. Now, when I got there, most of members had known each other for years, even decades. They all knew who knew what, who were the real experts, who were the beginners, all the inside jokes, etc. It was a pretty tight group of folks that all shared a common interest and also shared the technical knowledge to make it all work. I came in, sat down, and shut up. I listened, offered input when constructive, tried to get a feel for the club. I didn't kiss any asses but I did try to listen and get an understanding of how things really worked. I participated in the club events, Field Day, etc. Tried to be a valuable member. Being the young guy, I got to climb a lot of towers....:D I tried to do things 'their way' and offered input when I thought I could improve things. I ended up learning a ton of stuff from guys that had been doing it for years, experience you can't buy in a book. I ended up making life long friends there, guys I'll know for the rest of my life. And I had a great time doing it.

How different it would have been if I'd have shown up, started telling them all how to do the things they'd been doing for years. How different my reception would have been if I'd have ignored decades of practice and application, and started telling them that I knew what I was talking about, and they had it wrong. You guys aren't experts, I am, and you should listen to me. Aren't you lucky I showed up to tell you how to run things. If I'd have ignored the way the club functioned, disrespected the habits and practices that made it a great club.......

Had I done that, it would have been completely fair for them to call me out in a less than polite way. To bust my balls, give me a hard time. Maybe even run me off if I didn't get the message. And, it would have been my loss.

My $00.02.....B.B.S.
 
When I was in engineering school, I wanted to join a local ham radio club. Now, when I got there, most of members had known each other for years, even decades. They all knew who knew what, who were the real experts, who were the beginners, all the inside jokes, etc. It was a pretty tight group of folks that all shared a common interest and also shared the technical knowledge to make it all work. I came in, sat down, and shut up. I listened, offered input when constructive, tried to get a feel for the club. I didn't kiss any asses but I did try to listen and get an understanding of how things really worked. I participated in the club events, Field Day, etc. Tried to be a valuable member. Being the young guy, I got to climb a lot of towers....:D I tried to do things 'their way' and offered input when I thought I could improve things. I ended up learning a ton of stuff from guys that had been doing it for years, experience you can't buy in a book. I ended up making life long friends there, guys I'll know for the rest of my life. And I had a great time doing it.

How different it would have been if I'd have shown up, started telling them all how to do the things they'd been doing for years. How different my reception would have been if I'd have ignored decades of practice and application, and started telling them that I knew what I was talking about, and they had it wrong. You guys aren't experts, I am, and you should listen to me. Aren't you lucky I showed up to tell you how to run things. If I'd have ignored the way the club functioned, disrespected the habits and practices that made it a great club.......

Had I done that, it would have been completely fair for them to call me out in a less than polite way. To bust my balls, give me a hard time. Maybe even run me off if I didn't get the message. And, it would have been my loss.

My $00.02.....B.B.S.
Well said.

KJ6WAH ;)
 
In other words, friendly is not another word for sucker. We really don't ask that much. If you can't follow simple common sense rules, that one should already be using, you've got issues and shouldn't be here.

Doc
 
The last few weeks it has not seemed very friendly. In fact there are a few people that seem to be going out of their way to stalk post by members they have decide to not like.

In my humble opinion, that is the very definition of "trolling"
There are those that post here that I don't care for they way the write, come across, or other things, but I just ignore it and move on, especially if they are not going out of their way to be confrontational.

Maybe it is me, and I have the definition of friendliest all wrong and I need to take a step back.

Tim


Everyone's got one. <---linky
 
Guys, I want to be clear; I get, understand, and support post that offer feedback, advise, helpful information, even criticism.

But when the post only says, F-you or this F'n guy again, or things along those lines.....there is no message, there is no help....that is what is bothering me right now.

It may very well be a "me" thing, and I am in no way asking anyone to change what they are doing.
Like I said, just having a conversation with the others here at CP.

I love this place, and have a great amount of respect for a good many of the family members here.

Tim
 
When I was in engineering school, I wanted to join a local ham radio club. Now, when I got there, most of members had known each other for years, even decades. They all knew who knew what, who were the real experts, who were the beginners, all the inside jokes, etc. It was a pretty tight group of folks that all shared a common interest and also shared the technical knowledge to make it all work. I came in, sat down, and shut up. I listened, offered input when constructive, tried to get a feel for the club. I didn't kiss any asses but I did try to listen and get an understanding of how things really worked. I participated in the club events, Field Day, etc. Tried to be a valuable member. Being the young guy, I got to climb a lot of towers....:D I tried to do things 'their way' and offered input when I thought I could improve things. I ended up learning a ton of stuff from guys that had been doing it for years, experience you can't buy in a book. I ended up making life long friends there, guys I'll know for the rest of my life. And I had a great time doing it.

How different it would have been if I'd have shown up, started telling them all how to do the things they'd been doing for years. How different my reception would have been if I'd have ignored decades of practice and application, and started telling them that I knew what I was talking about, and they had it wrong. You guys aren't experts, I am, and you should listen to me. Aren't you lucky I showed up to tell you how to run things. If I'd have ignored the way the club functioned, disrespected the habits and practices that made it a great club.......

Had I done that, it would have been completely fair for them to call me out in a less than polite way. To bust my balls, give me a hard time. Maybe even run me off if I didn't get the message. And, it would have been my loss.

My $00.02.....B.B.S.

Good advice. KE5FYR
 
The last few weeks it has not seemed very friendly. In fact there are a few people that seem to be going out of their way to stalk post by members they have decide to not like.

In my humble opinion, that is the very definition of "trolling"
There are those that post here that I don't care for they way the write, come across, or other things, but I just ignore it and move on, especially if they are not going out of their way to be confrontational.

Maybe it is me, and I have the definition of friendliest all wrong and I need to take a step back.

Tim
I have been reading a lot of these posts lately and I do agree with you. As you said, it’s not as much about the corrections being suggested, but the replies that do not provide to the conversation of OP or provide constructive criticism.

However, I do agree that anyone new, including me, should be reading and ‘liking’ 4-5x more than posting (if not more). The guys on these forums are filled with knowledge and it would be a privelage to gain even the amount of knowledge they forget as it would be far more than I could ever learn on my own.
 
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