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Viejo paso de los miembros

Bill Clinton started jogging near his
New home in Chappaqua.


But on each run he happened to jog
Past a hooker standing on the same
Street corner, day after day.




With some apprehension he would brace
Himself as he approached her for what
Was most certainly to follow.


"Fifty dollars!" she would cry
Out from the curb.




"No, Five dollars!"
Fired back Clinton .



This ritual between Bill and the
Hooker continued for days.


He'd run by and she'd yell,
"Fifty dollars!"

And he'd yell back,
"Five dollars!"


One day however,
Hillary decided that she
Wanted to accompany her
Husband on his jog!


As the jogging couple neared the problematic
Street corner, Bill realized the "pro" would
Bark her $50 offer and Hillary would
Wonder what he'd really
Been doing on all his past outings.


He realized he should have a
Darn good explanation
For the junior Senator.


As they jogged into the turn that would
Take them past the corner,



Bill became even more apprehensive
Than usual.

Sure enough,
There was the hooker!


Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes
As she watched the pair jog past.


Then,

From the sidewalk,

The hooker yelled...



See what you get for five bucks!?"
 
In light of all of the "Illegal Alien" Reform BS in the media, I find this quite amusing! :sign:

March 6, 1836.

On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall.

William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were up there already. The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them.

Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Jim, are we landscaping today?"


Floyd T. :whistling:
 
Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in line to go through pearly gates and wait for St. Peter to admit them.

St. Peter goes to the nuns and says, "I realize that you are sisters of the cloth, but I must ask you if you have anything to report to me that might be a sin."

The sisters thought for a while and the first nun went to St. Peter. "I once touched a man's penis with this finger."

St. Peter thought for a while and said, "I'm sure it was in the line of duty. Place your finger in that holy water and swirl it around."

She did as she was instructed and "PING" she was in.

The second nun went to St. Peter and said, "I once touched a man's genitals with my entire right hand."

Again St. Peter thought for a while and said, "I'm sure it was within your duties. Swirl your hand in that holy water and go in."

The second nun did as she was instructed and "ping" she was in.

All of a sudden the 4th nun jumped in front of the 3rd nun.

St. Peter was really confused by this. "How come you cut in front of this Sister?"

The 4th nun replied, "I just wanted to know if I could gargle with that holy water before she soaks her ass in it!"
 
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"


Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Peter, how would you say it?"
Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
 
A small zoo in Tennessee had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Nash, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Nash, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Nash was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Nashshowed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:

1. "First", Nash said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

3. "Third", Nashville said, "I want all the chil'drun raised as Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

4. "And last of all", Nash stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."
 
Is there a pass going on somewhere in this thread? :laugh:

I got a box from tone-nj when I was away so I'll rummage through it tonight and try and turn this thing around ASAP.

Devin, would you have any objection to changing the order of the pass and moving Mr. Grateful1 to immediately following me in the order? He and I literally pass one another on the highway on the way home from work and we can arrange a handoff.
 
Take:
#11. Quai d'Orsay Panatella
#25. Padron 1964 Principe maduro

Puts:
#46. Padron 1926 #6 maduro
#47. Ramon Allones Petit Corona 12/01
#48. Ramon Allones Small Club Corona 09/06

As I made reference to earlier, I figure Nova Scotia :laugh: is closer to grateful1 in Connecticut than AVB in Pennsylvania so I'd like to arrange a handoff with Gary.

Gary, I have to be in Vernon at the Quality Inn on Tuesday afternoon for a Jaguar Club meeting (our show is this Sunday at that location and this is a final set up meeting). We can meet for smokes anytime that is convenient for you, I'll be in touch.
 
tone-nj said:
Sorry for the delay. The current inventory checks out.

Here are my proposed Puts and Takes:

Take 28: Davidoff Vintage 2000 Put 41: Cohiba Esplendido PEL JUN 01

Put 42: H Upmann Mag 50, EL 2005
Put 43: Taboada Sublime LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
Put 44: Taboada Robusto LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
Put 45: Johnny O Farm Rolled Culebra 2007

Devin as always thank you for including me in your pass and also for the friendship you've shared with me.

Bill are ready to receive this pass? Or are you still making love to the new Jag?
Click to expand...

LMAO! :laugh: I just saw this... :D

Yeah, the "new" car (well new for me anyway, it's a 1996 :D ) is a real treat, all the bells and whistles actually WORK unlike the 1992 that I traded in for it. I got pulled over by a New Jersey State Trooper :0 on Route 295 just outside of Philly on the way home. He said my brake lights were stuck on but what he didn't realize is that some European cars (like this one) have what they call "rear fog lights" and I didn't know they were on. He gave me a written warning which is a whole lot better than a ticket. He was very nice, polite and professional. :thumbs: I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet up with you Anthony on the way home.... :(
 
Hey Devin,

As you PM box is full. The cigars landed today and about to go into my humidor. They look yummy and will be hard to resist one of them. :laugh: Enjoy the little surprise heading your way. :D
 
coventrycat86 said:
tone-nj said:
Sorry for the delay. The current inventory checks out.

Here are my proposed Puts and Takes:

Take 28: Davidoff Vintage 2000 Put 41: Cohiba Esplendido PEL JUN 01

Put 42: H Upmann Mag 50, EL 2005
Put 43: Taboada Sublime LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
Put 44: Taboada Robusto LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
Put 45: Johnny O Farm Rolled Culebra 2007

Devin as always thank you for including me in your pass and also for the friendship you've shared with me.

Bill are ready to receive this pass? Or are you still making love to the new Jag?
Click to expand...

LMAO! :laugh: I just saw this... :D

Yeah, the "new" car (well new for me anyway, it's a 1996 :D ) is a real treat, all the bells and whistles actually WORK unlike the 1992 that I traded in for it. I got pulled over by a New Jersey State Trooper :0 on Route 295 just outside of Philly on the way home. He said my brake lights were stuck on but what he didn't realize is that some European cars (like this one) have what they call "rear fog lights" and I didn't know they were on. He gave me a written warning which is a whole lot better than a ticket. He was very nice, polite and professional. :thumbs: I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet up with you Anthony on the way home.... :(
Click to expand...


I'm sorry you weren't able to stop by too! Man a written warning is sweet, those tickets on that road can be hefty! Glad the Jag is doing well and yes there was a second pass on this thread, LOL
 
Hey Devin

Just wanted to say that the box arrived today and thank you very much, the sticks look fabulous, they surely won't last very long. Great packaging btw..

Tim


**ditto on the full mailbox.
 
The sudden, quiet solitude has dropped this thread lower than I can bear to see. To rise is a great thing. But to rise above all is truly the only way to insure definitive global domination.

Trample the weak, hurdle the dead. Who's with me?

:cool:
 
Package arrived via New Jag!

P/T's will be posted later tonight.

Somebody, please help Pete!

Thank you and good night!


:D
 
Pete said:
The sudden, quiet solitude has dropped this thread lower than I can bear to see. To rise is a great thing. But to rise above all is truly the only way to insure definitive global domination.

Trample the weak, hurdle the dead. Who's with me?

:cool:
Click to expand...


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:



Golf prize package received Gary .... Thank you Sir!. Now to make a pot of Cuban Coffee to go with one of those this afternoon.


:cool:
 
Pete,

If you and Kenny are in, so am I. :thumbs: I have an idea of what you're talking about, so I'll await further instructions. :whistling:

Floyd T.
 
Sticks from some contest or other received from that newb grateful1. I'm sure it was a real pleasure for him to send them to me.

NA
 
SamClemmons said:
Sticks from some contest or other received from that newb grateful1. I'm sure it was a real pleasure for him to send them to me.

NA
Click to expand...

Was it a pleasure for him? Or was he, perhaps, merely clearing his conscience from wrongful acts from a previous life? While either way it may have been a pleasure, one scenario would pave the way to a blissful night sleep while the other would hold much promise for a future filled with things greater than that which transend the boundary's of grounded thought. So, Mr. Clemmons, you may actually be a road out of one of Dante's innermost circles in which case I am awed to be in your presence. Or maybe you're just a guy who smokes cigars, in which case I am pleased to be in your presence since both circumstances lend themselves heavily toward good karma. Only grateful1 can answer to this by a nod & a wink or by continuing his karmatic ways and bestowing his goodness upon another unsuspecting individual. To wit I am bound to selflessly offer my services (read: my address) should he be moved to continue his quest to reach the true greatness that can only be achieved through numerous lifetimes and boundless acts of complete servitude.

Or not, what do I know?
 
The beautiful prize pack have arrived. Thanks for the prize, Gary.
 
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