Double D
alphabetically challenged
For some time I have enjoyed spending time in this forum with the good people who call this place their internet home. During this time I have observed many acts of kindness and camaraderie and also some seriously disturbing behavior.
Before I say what has been on my mind for awhile I would like to say that this is not intended to upset or point the finger at anyone period. For some reason we all sometimes forget why we became a member to enjoy camaraderie of the one thing we All have in common Cigars and the enjoyment we derive from them. I personally think that if we all sit back and consider that we will find out it is more than we share in common than with folks we deal with on a Dailey basis.
I live and work in a closed community meaning everyone knows everything about everyone and there is no margin for error it will be remembered for years to come. My personality is such that I am very direct and often unintentionally brutal to people and over the years I have paid for this in the loss of promotions and many people thinking I am an asshat. Two years ago I was passed over for a promotion that I had been working for many years to achieve not because I was unqualified or lacked the skill set necessary to succeed in this job because but because I was volatile and explosive and may react that way to people in higher positions.
The person who got the job was a guy who I hated and would do anything to piss off he was now my supervisor to say the least I was concerned. Within a week of having the job I was called to his office my first thought was ok I am gone he sat me down and proceeded to tell me what an asset I was to the firm and then detailed my faults and how he was going to assist me navigate in this type of environment.
Since that day he has been my staunchest ally and has repeatedly helped me to improve myself were a lesser man would have cut his losses early on and in the process I have learned a lot about diplomacy and thinking things through before reacting to them.
This community tends to react quickly and forcibly at times when a little thought could prevent a civil war other times we act together and quickly for a common goal like when some vendor try’s to rip off folks. If we tried to work together more we could achieve what we already know one of the best most tightly knit communities on the web were folks truly care.
I myself believe this and have seen this to be true but when a new person first logs in and sees some of our threads they probably think holy cow what have I got myself into. Yes I know I am a noob both to cigars and this forum but in life I am not a noob and have personally found that diplomacy and respect can go very far someone I once considered my worst enemy has turned out to be the person who showed me the way and that has changed my outlook more than I can explain however I hope that we as a community can find our way to more tolerance and respect for each other I have to believe this is possible because if it isn’t that means the changes I have felt personally over the years were not possible.
So this is my new years pledge to all of you I will treat everyone with respect and use diplomacy to guide my actions and my wish is that everyone else can find their way to do the same. This is not intended to out anyone person or flame someone or cause civil war it is just my humble observations if this does offend someone I apologize up front and I know my post count is low and that many of you would see some of them as padding but that is ok I don’t care about post count I come here because I enjoy the camaraderie.
Respectfully
Dale
P.S I know my spelling and grammar is horrible but i used word this time so hopefully it is better.
*edited to make Paragraphs*
Before I say what has been on my mind for awhile I would like to say that this is not intended to upset or point the finger at anyone period. For some reason we all sometimes forget why we became a member to enjoy camaraderie of the one thing we All have in common Cigars and the enjoyment we derive from them. I personally think that if we all sit back and consider that we will find out it is more than we share in common than with folks we deal with on a Dailey basis.
I live and work in a closed community meaning everyone knows everything about everyone and there is no margin for error it will be remembered for years to come. My personality is such that I am very direct and often unintentionally brutal to people and over the years I have paid for this in the loss of promotions and many people thinking I am an asshat. Two years ago I was passed over for a promotion that I had been working for many years to achieve not because I was unqualified or lacked the skill set necessary to succeed in this job because but because I was volatile and explosive and may react that way to people in higher positions.
The person who got the job was a guy who I hated and would do anything to piss off he was now my supervisor to say the least I was concerned. Within a week of having the job I was called to his office my first thought was ok I am gone he sat me down and proceeded to tell me what an asset I was to the firm and then detailed my faults and how he was going to assist me navigate in this type of environment.
Since that day he has been my staunchest ally and has repeatedly helped me to improve myself were a lesser man would have cut his losses early on and in the process I have learned a lot about diplomacy and thinking things through before reacting to them.
This community tends to react quickly and forcibly at times when a little thought could prevent a civil war other times we act together and quickly for a common goal like when some vendor try’s to rip off folks. If we tried to work together more we could achieve what we already know one of the best most tightly knit communities on the web were folks truly care.
I myself believe this and have seen this to be true but when a new person first logs in and sees some of our threads they probably think holy cow what have I got myself into. Yes I know I am a noob both to cigars and this forum but in life I am not a noob and have personally found that diplomacy and respect can go very far someone I once considered my worst enemy has turned out to be the person who showed me the way and that has changed my outlook more than I can explain however I hope that we as a community can find our way to more tolerance and respect for each other I have to believe this is possible because if it isn’t that means the changes I have felt personally over the years were not possible.
So this is my new years pledge to all of you I will treat everyone with respect and use diplomacy to guide my actions and my wish is that everyone else can find their way to do the same. This is not intended to out anyone person or flame someone or cause civil war it is just my humble observations if this does offend someone I apologize up front and I know my post count is low and that many of you would see some of them as padding but that is ok I don’t care about post count I come here because I enjoy the camaraderie.
Respectfully
Dale
P.S I know my spelling and grammar is horrible but i used word this time so hopefully it is better.
*edited to make Paragraphs*
