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Alright Stanky Fish... I mean Stan K Phisch

When I first joined CP, Tall Paul received a bomb that was similar except he got open in a relatively short time...only to find a key. I don't remember what happened after that.

Maybe a circular saw with a metal cutting blade would help Brian????
Problem is we don't know what's in there. Is it more tuna mayo inside, a key like in Paul's case, a note, another pipe, cigars, etc. Cutting it with something like that could damage the contents.
 
Problem is we don't know what's in there. Is it more tuna mayo inside, a key like in Paul's case, a note, another pipe, cigars, etc. Cutting it with something like that could damage the contents.

Maybe that's the trick -- just use this pipe as a paper weight for the rest of my life. That way I won't give the prankster the satisfaction of watching me work so hard to open those grape white owls... plus it'll age them nicely.
 
You could, super covertly like, bomb Tall Paul with it and then we could all watch him twist it open with his bare hands

Can I also send Paul this jar of pickles that I can't seem to get open?
 
That is the definition of irony.
Self help books aren't manly, because manly men don't read instructions.
The irony in your comment on Brian's irony is that he wanted to "feel" more manly not BE more manly. So, while your premise is correct that a real man would not want a book on how to be a real man, it does not apply to Brian's request to feel more manly.
 
The irony in your comment on Brian's irony is that he wanted to "feel" more manly not BE more manly. So, while your premise is correct that a real man would not want a book on how to be a real man, it does not apply to Brian's request to feel more manly.

Now that's ironic. Lmao
 
I would just take it to a Lowes and tell them you got this pipe bomb in the mail and ask them to open it. The rest of us can watch the evening news.

Wouldn't it be better if I opened with "I know what this looks like, but I PROMISE it's not a pipe bomb. Now I'm just gonna go around that corner over there while you open it with that circular saw..."
 
It certainly doesn't look welded. Just some epoxy and mayo. :)

Thanks for that video Paul. Can you also send me a self-help book on how to feel more manly? ;)
Sadly no I've been coaching my brother inlaws for far to long and some times its just not ment to be...
 
Wouldn't it be better if I opened with "I know what this looks like, but I PROMISE it's not a pipe bomb. Now I'm just gonna go around that corner over there while you open it with that circular saw..."

Most people don't know this, but your local Police Dept. has a Jaws of Life for such things. Just take it down there, set it on the Chiefs desk and explain its a bomb that a friend of yours made and you can't get the cap off. They will take care of the rest.
 
And we're off.

Today I vowed to pop the lid. Santa dropped this off -

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So I wrenched at it for a while -

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Then put it back in the vice in the garage and twisted the blade for a good 30 minutes... but a Brian is pretty impatient so I decided to take one more turn with the wrench expecting it still wouldn't budge...

Thank goodness I had that pipe right-side up cause low and behold it popped loose with a pink glittery cloud...

Yeah, you heard me right...

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That's glitter. Lots of it. And better yet the epoxy and glitter combined into a false lid... complete with grooves... it was strange... you can see it in the picture here- along with the groove I was cutting

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So I dumped the glitter in the snow and broke off the glitter/epoxy madness and got this -

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And a few thousand rolls of duct tape later I finally found a taped baggie!

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So there you have it!

I'd happily post the cigars but for that I'd need to know who did it!

Whoever you are you mayo bastid, thank you for the kindness and the fun story! I'll keep my pipe cutter handy in case another stanky fish arrives someday and it's welded shut (looking at you Paul) :)

Hope you enjoyed my tale of woe!
 

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