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Been away for awhile ... So, A CONTEST

R

Robbmt

Thermal UP!!!!!!
Joined
Sep 17, 2002
Messages
1,288
A St. Louis style sampler for whomever makes me laugh the hardest. I'll give it a couple days.

Yo mamma so ugly, daddy takes her to work so he don't have to kiss her goodbye.



GO ...
 
Let's start with some classics:
Yo mamma so dumb, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo mamma so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Yo mamma so fat, when she fell over and broke her leg, gravy poured out.

Excuse me, I have to go watch White Men Can't Jump now.
 
Yo mamma so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as the New World.
Yo mamma so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo mamma so fat, your ears pop when you climb on top of her.

And my personal favorite:

Yo Mamma is so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the crap out of the toilet!
 
Yo mamma so nasty, she pours saltwater down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yo mamma so dumb, she taped paper to the television set and called it PaperView.
 
Yo mamma so fat, she sat on a skittle and out popped a rainbow!

Yo mamma so fat, her belly button's got an echo!
 
Ok, so there was a Hawaiian guy, a Haole (white) guy, and a Chinese guy. They were all hired to build a house. The foreman says to the Hawaiian guy, "Alright Hawaiian dude. You're big and strong, so you are in charge of the heavy lifting, framing, roofing, etc. of the house." Then, the foreman says to the Haole guy, "Alright Haole dude. You're good at drawing, so you're in charge of the blueprints and the layout of the house." Lastly, the foreman says to the Chinese guy, "Alright Chinese dude. You're good with numbers, so you are in charge of all of the supplies needed for the house. Make sure we have everything we need." At this, the foreman left it up to his three hired hands to build the house. The Haole guy drew up the blueprints to the house and made sure they were perfect. The Hawaiian guy, with practiced precision and skill, framed the house, put up the drywall, and roofed it. They had been working for a week straight, and neither had seen the Chinese guy since the first day. As they were finishing up and cleaning up the job site, the Hawaiian guy says to the Haole guy, "Ho brah, you wen see dat Chinese buggah?" At that moment, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the truck and yelled "SUPPLIES!!!!!"




So two lions were eating a clown. The first lion says to the second lion, "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
Yo momma is so f**king ugly, when she cries, the tears roll down the back of her head!

investandprosper said:
Ok, so there was a Hawaiian guy, a Haole (white) guy, and a Chinese guy. They were all hired to build a house. The foreman says to the Hawaiian guy, "Alright Hawaiian dude. You're big and strong, so you are in charge of the heavy lifting, framing, roofing, etc. of the house." Then, the foreman says to the Haole guy, "Alright Haole dude. You're good at drawing, so you're in charge of the blueprints and the layout of the house." Lastly, the foreman says to the Chinese guy, "Alright Chinese dude. You're good with numbers, so you are in charge of all of the supplies needed for the house. Make sure we have everything we need." At this, the foreman left it up to his three hired hands to build the house. The Haole guy drew up the blueprints to the house and made sure they were perfect. The Hawaiian guy, with practiced precision and skill, framed the house, put up the drywall, and roofed it. They had been working for a week straight, and neither had seen the Chinese guy since the first day. As they were finishing up and cleaning up the job site, the Hawaiian guy says to the Haole guy, "Ho brah, you wen see dat Chinese buggah?" At that moment, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the truck and yelled "SUPPLIES!!!!!"


Last, but not least .... So two lions were eating a clown. The first lion says to the second lion, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Click to expand...

It might be the fact that I am 6 Glenmorangies in at this point but I don't get this fuggin' post at all. Sorry dude.
 
Scottw said:
Yo momma is so f**king ugly, when she cries, the tears roll down the back of her head!


It might be the fact that I am 6 Glenmorangies in at this point but I don't get this fuggin' post at all. Sorry dude.
Click to expand...


I'm dead sober, and I have to admit yours doesn't make sense to me either :whistling: Different senses of humor I guess!
 
Hey hey hey... Leave my momma out of this and I'll leave this out of your mama!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Yo mama's so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl.

Yo mama's so fat she has her own zip code.
 
Yo mammas so fat she has to wake up in sections!

Yo mammas so stupid she thought a Quarterback was a refund!

Yo mammas so fat her blood type is Ragu!
 
Forget the gulf of mexico: Yo mama's so greasy BP buys oil from her.

Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama's so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.


Welcome back and thanks for the contest.
 
investandprosper said:
Scottw said:
Yo momma is so f**king ugly, when she cries, the tears roll down the back of her head!


It might be the fact that I am 6 Glenmorangies in at this point but I don't get this fuggin' post at all. Sorry dude.
Click to expand...


I'm dead sober, and I have to admit yours doesn't make sense to me either :whistling: Different senses of humor I guess!
Click to expand...


This is the thinking man's "Yo Mamma" joke.
 
Yo momma's so fat, when you left home, you had to break orbit.

Yo momma's so dumb, she thought fellatio was an Italian opera.

Yo momma's so frigid, every time she spreads her legs, a little light comes on.

Yo momma's so skanky, when she got knocked up with you, yo daddy just came on her shoes and flies did the rest.
 
Yo momma's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped her daddy!
Yo momma's so fat, not even 'Whale Wars' will help her!
Yo momma's so nasty, a Skunk got a whiff of her and committed suicide!
 
Oldies but goodies...

Yo momma's so fat when she wears high heals she strikes oil.

Yo momma's like the hardware store, 5 cents a screw.

Thanks for the contest!
 
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