Juanote
The sound of one hand fapping
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2013
- Messages
- 817
I had no idea what a "cigar pass" was before registering in this forum. Some key noob primers are not functional any longer so it took me a little while to understand its purpose.
Now that I have an idea I admit to having mixed feelings about it.
I'm a generous person and I earn a decent living. In my youth I was generous to a fault and had a hard time accepting it in return. Now I'm always getting onto my wife for trying to avoid the generosity of others, and always insisting on picking up the check or paying the tab, or always finding a way to slip someone cash when they are not looking. I tell her all the time that friendship entails mutual generosity, without placing too much emphasis upon it. Mutual generosity indicates recognition of the value inherent in the company being kept, and thereby becomes progressively less important as the friendship develops. If mutual generosity remains a prominent concern in the relationship, then there is no room for the friendship to develop. Ultimately, friends trust one another's motives or they are not friends.
So now I am a noob on this forum.
Now that I understand the nature of this community, I also understand the social dynamic. In order to gain trust here, a person must first establish bona fides as a BOTL to assure that they are not a troll or pirate looking for a freebie or to make a nuisance. It could hardly be otherwise in this day and age.
So a humble attitude that patiently cultivates friendships is the price of admission to the community table. Else the obvious fun and mutual generosity of cigar passing would be impossible without some assurance that the intentions of the majority of people can be trusted.
But I had no idea that I was placing myself in a position akin to supplication when I joined, and so I never intended to exchange a humble attitude for trust, friendship, and material generosity. And though the nature of this forum requires this patient and humble attitude, I welcome the freely given friendship of other BOTL. But finding myself in this humble position unexpectedly makes it impossible for me to accept anyone's material generosity.
In saying that I judge no one, nor do I wish to impugn the fine and clearly entertaining practice of cigar passing. Indeed I look forward to the experience of passing with some interest, and hope to participate someday. Nor do I second guess the implications of the bombing that is also occurring.
But the benefit that interests me is the sharing of an experience with a community that finds the same value in it, leading to the cultivation of that experience via its mutual enjoyment. That is what I am doing when I share a smoke with friends in the real world. And that is what I hope to experience here, and I hope you feel the same way.
Now that I have an idea I admit to having mixed feelings about it.
I'm a generous person and I earn a decent living. In my youth I was generous to a fault and had a hard time accepting it in return. Now I'm always getting onto my wife for trying to avoid the generosity of others, and always insisting on picking up the check or paying the tab, or always finding a way to slip someone cash when they are not looking. I tell her all the time that friendship entails mutual generosity, without placing too much emphasis upon it. Mutual generosity indicates recognition of the value inherent in the company being kept, and thereby becomes progressively less important as the friendship develops. If mutual generosity remains a prominent concern in the relationship, then there is no room for the friendship to develop. Ultimately, friends trust one another's motives or they are not friends.
So now I am a noob on this forum.
Now that I understand the nature of this community, I also understand the social dynamic. In order to gain trust here, a person must first establish bona fides as a BOTL to assure that they are not a troll or pirate looking for a freebie or to make a nuisance. It could hardly be otherwise in this day and age.
So a humble attitude that patiently cultivates friendships is the price of admission to the community table. Else the obvious fun and mutual generosity of cigar passing would be impossible without some assurance that the intentions of the majority of people can be trusted.
But I had no idea that I was placing myself in a position akin to supplication when I joined, and so I never intended to exchange a humble attitude for trust, friendship, and material generosity. And though the nature of this forum requires this patient and humble attitude, I welcome the freely given friendship of other BOTL. But finding myself in this humble position unexpectedly makes it impossible for me to accept anyone's material generosity.
In saying that I judge no one, nor do I wish to impugn the fine and clearly entertaining practice of cigar passing. Indeed I look forward to the experience of passing with some interest, and hope to participate someday. Nor do I second guess the implications of the bombing that is also occurring.
But the benefit that interests me is the sharing of an experience with a community that finds the same value in it, leading to the cultivation of that experience via its mutual enjoyment. That is what I am doing when I share a smoke with friends in the real world. And that is what I hope to experience here, and I hope you feel the same way.
