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Dem & Rep

W

Wascal

Captive of the Dark Side
Joined
Jun 13, 2002
Messages
1,586
Question? How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans,
and Southerners?

Answer: Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street
with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man
with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

---------------------------------------------------------

Democrat Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a Paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a
consensus.

--------------------------------------------------------

Republican Answer:

BANG!

---------------------------------------------------------

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading). BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!"

Wife: "Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or the Black Talon Hollow
Points?"
 
I'm not even American and I laughed at that. Is there something wrong with me?
 
Lemon said:
I'm not even American and I laughed at that. Is there something wrong with me?
Click to expand...
No. You should emigrate here. :)
 
You forgot the part where the democrat tries to talk to teh guy and ask him how he feels about his mother.....
 
Lemon said:
I'm not even American and I laughed at that. Is there something wrong with me?
Click to expand...
No. You should emigrate here. :)
 
This is why all small southern towns are crime free. Everyone is armed and willing to use it. ;)
 
Subject: WEATHER ALERT -

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A WARNING FOR YET ANOTHER
CATASTROPHIC HURRICANE FOLLOWING ON THE HEELS OF IVAN AND JEANNE . THE PATH OF THIS HURRICANE ZIGS AND ZAGS, AND IS THEREFORE HIGHLY UNPREDICTABLE.

EXPERTS PREDICT THAT THIS ONE WILL CAUSE THE MOST DAMAGE TO THE UNITED STATES THAT WE HAVE EXPERIENCED IN FOUR YEARS. THEY ARE NAMING THIS ONE

...HURRICANE KERRY.

BE ADVISED THE ONLY WAY FOR CITIZENS TO PROTECT THEMSELVES IS BY GETTING BEHIND A BUSH.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just received this - thought I would share.
 
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