NullSmurf
Das Bruce
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2006
- Messages
- 7,851
Remember those essay contests from school when you were a kid? This isn't one. You're perfectly welcome to plagerize - I did. I maintain a list of what I call "Aphorisms" or the lines of code I tend to live by. Some are more suggestions than guidelines. Reading them the other day, it came to me that a few words changed here and there, and these would make sense as HERFing Aphorisms.
Here is my challenge: post your best Aphorisms.
Your reward: one 6-Pack of New Belgium Fat Tire (we're rich with it here in Colorado) If you've had some, then you know it'll be worth the brain cells to post. If you haven't, thats even better! I'd offer an exotic and sought after cigar, but I'M A FOOKING NOOBIE AND COULDN'T TELL A COHIBA FROM A WHITE OWL. Ahem... However, I found a rich guy's B&M where I'm sure they have something hidiously expensive. If you can get Fat Tire on your own, you can still post and win, but I'll drink the beer myself and send 2 hidiously expensive cigars.
Oh, there is a catch. I'm drafting a jury to judge your entries. Their decision is final, but I'm supplying the goodies. This jury is composed by those literate enough to relate, and demented enough to be entertained. They're also all over CP and I'm certain they'll read this post.
Draftees: AVB, KayakinBoy, Matt_R, CoventryCat, and Wurm. I've read your posts. There is something I'm supposed to learn from you, so I thought I give you some entertainment in return. You guys can enter too, so long as you can convince the others to vote for you
Rules:
1. Keep em short. I can't vouch for the jury's attention span.
2. If it doesn't directly relate directly to cigars, you have to change words to MAKE them relate. See example below of my favorite.
3. Credit the original author, if possible
4. The jury's decision is most likely final. I'll vote to break any ties.
5. You'll improve your chances if you tell us why this one is meaninful to you and why it applies here.
6. I'll call the jury for a vote at the end of the month, sooner on 3 days notice if the contest interest trails off. To keep things fair, there will be a PUBLIC ballot.
7. Kissing up to and bribing the jury is strictly permitted.
8. Berating other posts is recommended, so long as its done in fun and you think it might get you ahead.
9. Be sarcastic and witty. Have fun with this.
10. Only one winner. There is plenty of beer, but only so much postage!
Example #1 original text in (parentheses)
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, a single-malt (champagne) in one hand, a Cuban (chocolate covered strawberries) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!"
I've no idea who wrote it, but it must have been a hard driving woman. I never did like the items in the hands - felt good to change it.
As a conservative, almost libertarian, this is my #1, as is.
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. C.S.Lewis
It applies here because of our politicians managing to pass smoking bans on those who do not want one in order to feel good about themselves. I'd prefer to let the market drive the smoke. I also have a daughter with multiple disabilities and hate it when the liberal social explicatives tell me that I can't parent her without their help.
Anyhow, good luck and for some, good Google surfing.
I can only read and change this so many times and I'm tired, so fuggit. I'm hitting the 'Post New Topic' button.
:: KNEW I'd have an edit. AVP=AVB :blush:
Here is my challenge: post your best Aphorisms.
Your reward: one 6-Pack of New Belgium Fat Tire (we're rich with it here in Colorado) If you've had some, then you know it'll be worth the brain cells to post. If you haven't, thats even better! I'd offer an exotic and sought after cigar, but I'M A FOOKING NOOBIE AND COULDN'T TELL A COHIBA FROM A WHITE OWL. Ahem... However, I found a rich guy's B&M where I'm sure they have something hidiously expensive. If you can get Fat Tire on your own, you can still post and win, but I'll drink the beer myself and send 2 hidiously expensive cigars.
Oh, there is a catch. I'm drafting a jury to judge your entries. Their decision is final, but I'm supplying the goodies. This jury is composed by those literate enough to relate, and demented enough to be entertained. They're also all over CP and I'm certain they'll read this post.
Draftees: AVB, KayakinBoy, Matt_R, CoventryCat, and Wurm. I've read your posts. There is something I'm supposed to learn from you, so I thought I give you some entertainment in return. You guys can enter too, so long as you can convince the others to vote for you
Rules:
1. Keep em short. I can't vouch for the jury's attention span.
2. If it doesn't directly relate directly to cigars, you have to change words to MAKE them relate. See example below of my favorite.
3. Credit the original author, if possible
4. The jury's decision is most likely final. I'll vote to break any ties.
5. You'll improve your chances if you tell us why this one is meaninful to you and why it applies here.
6. I'll call the jury for a vote at the end of the month, sooner on 3 days notice if the contest interest trails off. To keep things fair, there will be a PUBLIC ballot.
7. Kissing up to and bribing the jury is strictly permitted.
8. Berating other posts is recommended, so long as its done in fun and you think it might get you ahead.
9. Be sarcastic and witty. Have fun with this.
10. Only one winner. There is plenty of beer, but only so much postage!
Example #1 original text in (parentheses)
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, a single-malt (champagne) in one hand, a Cuban (chocolate covered strawberries) in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!"
I've no idea who wrote it, but it must have been a hard driving woman. I never did like the items in the hands - felt good to change it.
As a conservative, almost libertarian, this is my #1, as is.
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience. C.S.Lewis
It applies here because of our politicians managing to pass smoking bans on those who do not want one in order to feel good about themselves. I'd prefer to let the market drive the smoke. I also have a daughter with multiple disabilities and hate it when the liberal social explicatives tell me that I can't parent her without their help.
Anyhow, good luck and for some, good Google surfing.
I can only read and change this so many times and I'm tired, so fuggit. I'm hitting the 'Post New Topic' button.
:: KNEW I'd have an edit. AVP=AVB :blush:
