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"Dress Like a Habanos Insider" Contest!

A beautiful young girl in Havana
Rolled the leaf, while beneath, a Cabana
On her thighs she created
Fine cigars she then traded
to her audience who groaned and banana’d.
 
Can you mention 2nd and 3rd place?


Cuban cigars, oh how I adore.
So much so, I drop to the floor.
Forbidden, Where can they be?
Between the alley, up the cat?

Should I still wait by the door?
 
I used to smoke Phillies all day
Then I logged onto CP one day
Ya'll bombed out my lights
My wife died of fright
Now I puff Primo Del Rey

We all know a fellow named Buck
Who claims he's a sherrif-type schmuck
When the timing is right
I'll bomb him outright
And he'll cry out damning his luck

I joined CP long ago
Had to leave for some time I know
Now I'm back bitches
Hang on to your britches
Cuz a new sherrif's in town bow down low!

I used to post hasty carefree
Then Coventry stung like a bee
His spellchecker's a wrecker
He's quite the perfector
But without him it's not CP

I love to blow smoke rings for fun
Breath kicks like a son of a gun
I could brush my teeth
or sandblast for a week
But that battle will never be won

I heard of a cure for bad breath
Drink fruit juice till you drown to death
Makes the funk go away
Now the wife wants to play
And she'll complain no more of the head!

Ok i'm spent...for now
 
moki said:
You can repair a 'gar wrapper
By putting it in her snapper
Then twist the 'gar about
As your girl lets out a shout
And then smoke up your del mar tobacc-errrr!

ya ya ya yaaaaa... Wilkey rides bicycles without seats!
Click to expand...



You may repair that 'gar wrapper
By inserting it into her snapper
But for a fuller,richer taste
Thats right in your face
Insert it instead in her crapper :laugh:
 
Ginseng said:
Wow,

This thread has gone downhill. :sign:

Keep 'em coming you pervs.

Wilkey
Click to expand...
:laugh: OK!

There once was a lad named Wilkey
He liked his ladies hair long and silky
With Vitola in hand
He said "I'm the fuggin man"
Now get on your knees and milk me!

:sign:
 
We have this cool cat named CC
You might think 'he's picking on me'
You'll say that your right
Even put up a fight
He'll still correct your grammar, you'll see
 
geldor1 said:
We have this cool cat named CC
You might think 'he's picking on me'
You'll say that your right
Even put up a fight
He'll still correct your grammar, you'll see
Click to expand...

:rolleyes:

Yo, G... did you make that grammar mistake on purpose? ;)
 
Ok guys,

I'll be picking the winner tonight. I've seen some pretty good efforts (and no, I'm not including Moki's limericks:p)) but if you've got any more left, fire away!

Well done, everyone. This has been quite entertaining.

Wilkey
 
I love smoking on the back porch
While reading a note from the Lord
Phillipians 1:3
Means so much to me
Makes me feel close in his court

Done for real!
 
Here's another:

Scored an Opus one day on a hunt
Split the wrapper while pulling a stunt
The market I checked in
Was all out of pectin
So I stuffed it in a Phillies Blunt
Yo
:whistling:
 
stewa070 said:
Your prose has been found wanting...And your Kung Fu is weak too!
:p :sign:
Click to expand...

Everyone's kung fu is weak. My style is the best! ;)

His legs have no hair, they're so silky
His skin is so fair, it looks milky
When he puts on a dress,
You would never guess
It was really a dude named The Master of Lunar Reverie...
 
Et tu, Elliot?

I don't recall making this a "bash Wilkey" contest. :sign:

Bastiges, the whole lot of ya!

Wilkey
 
Ginseng said:
Et tu, Elliot?

I don't recall making this a "bash Wilkey" contest. :sign:

Bastiges, the whole lot of ya!

Wilkey
Click to expand...

You'll notice I've made no Wilkey bashes...(as Clark applies chap stick before kissing ass)...

C'MON IT'S A F!@#$%G FREE T-SHIRT. SEE PREVIOUS POSTS BY ME REGARDING SUBJECT!
 
There once was a CP member named Vitasea
Who procured new vitolas from somewhere south of Miami
He claims to have smoked Behikes
Peddling the Flying Pig and the like
Now take your hairshirt and leave!!

:sign:


There once was a CP member named PuroBrat
Who was clearly one of the biggest Asshats
Begging and pleading for smokes
PuroMooch is his new token
Wherever he goes now CC will take him to the mat

???


CigarPass is my online cigar haven
A cigar board that's truely worth ravin'
Most generous BOTLs by far
With hearts stretching to the stars
We "Get it" and that's why I'm stayin!

:cool:
 
I'm trying to get some work done before the end of the week. I hope to be back later this evening to announce the winner.

Wilkey
 
After much consideration and bleary-eyed limerick reading, I hereby declare the winner of this contest to be:

LilBastage! for his two fine efforts:

There he sat with a Vegas Robainas
The wrapper was silky not veinous
Toasted the foot
Between the lips it was put
Ahh.... a flavor quite far from heinous

Oh what a wonderful smell
This one is blended quite well
Smells quite like the barnyard
Resisting is so hard
Habanos: so much heaven with hell

Special consolation prize for pumping out the most limericks with a total of 11 is:

Stew070

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who gave this contest a spin. I guess any contest that can drag verse out of Neal had ot have been a pretty good idea. ;p

Wilkey

PS, for those keeping count, we had a total of 71 limericks submitted by 24 members. :thumbs:
 
WOO HOO!!!

Thanks for the great contest, WIlkey!

I can't believe I won!

:thumbs:
 
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