Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I've not been active on this or any other board lately because life got in the way. I learned this past Sunday that I have very little control over some things. I will never be whole again. My wife was my soul mate and was the love of my life. I'm trying to keep it together for my 13 and 15 year old daughters now. My son is here and is fast becoming my support.
Please everyone who reads this, the best way you can help me right now is to go to your spouse or significant other, hug them and tell them you love them. You never know when they will be gone from you in a literal blink of an eye like mine was.