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Houseguest Etiquette

Wolfie

Wolfie

Alien
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
899
Location
Oakland, CA
I'm sure this has been covered but darned if I can piece it together. I've read passing comments which have painted part of the picture for me and I can see that etiquette differs from person to person but roughly speaking...


How do you treat houseguests who may have varying levels of interests in smoking? Unless there's something specific they have an interest in or you would like them to try, it seems you offer them their choice. That makes sense, I get that. But do you organize your cigars into varying small humidors or do you simply take them to your 50K count humidor and let them flounder (and I've seen pictures of some of the mancaves here!)

Is it polite to make recommendations? Maybe feel them out in conversation and say "hey, if you liked that, I've got something you may enjoy"? Go for a walk to the local shop on your way out for drinks or coffee?

I've just learned that my counterpart has invited an old college friend to stay for a few days next week while they're in town for a wedding. I know he supposedly enjoys a pipe and I know his name, but otherwise, complete stranger to me.

...and I posted in the wrong forum. Or maybe this *is* the right forum. Eh. Don't know how to fix it either way!
 
Wolfie said:
I'm sure this has been covered but darned if I can piece it together. I've read passing comments which have painted part of the picture for me and I can see that etiquette differs from person to person but roughly speaking...


How do you treat houseguests who may have varying levels of interests in smoking? Unless there's something specific they have an interest in or you would like them to try, it seems you offer them their choice. That makes sense, I get that. But do you organize your cigars into varying small humidors or do you simply take them to your 50K count humidor and let them flounder (and I've seen pictures of some of the mancaves here!)

Is it polite to make recommendations? Maybe feel them out in conversation and say "hey, if you liked that, I've got something you may enjoy"? Go for a walk to the local shop on your way out for drinks or coffee?

I've just learned that my counterpart has invited an old college friend to stay for a few days next week while they're in town for a wedding. I know he supposedly enjoys a pipe and I know his name, but otherwise, complete stranger to me.

...and I posted in the wrong forum. Or maybe this *is* the right forum. Eh. Don't know how to fix it either way!
Click to expand...

As you said, etiquette will differ from person to person... I think if you say "Help yourself" it means just that. I suppose if you offered a particular stick, or made a recommendation, or qualifying the help youself with something like "Try any one except for this one" that should suffice. You could always offer a particular one, or if you have a small desktop that is stocked with only those you are willing to offer without qualification.

I think taking a trip to a B&M with your visitor might be a good way to break the ice on that. You, or they ask questions about what would suit your tastes, the staff makes a suggestion, and you could use that info to gift one of your own collection to your visitor.

I don't have too many cigar smoking friends out here, so I'm usually able to just give one of my choosing since they probably couldn't tell the difference between one cigar and the next.
 
Ask a few questions and find out if he has ever smoked a cigar. Having been in the same situation don't hand out the prem. cigars. I have seen some good cigars get lit and puffed on twice and laid down. Most people don't know anything about cigars so pick out a nice mild cigar and leave it at that.
 
I always pick the cigars for my guests, they generally don't get to pick. I usually know enough about them to choose wisely. I don't mind handing out premiums to people who will appreciate and enjoy them.

I've also herf'd with some fine brothers out there and cigars are always choosen for me, or a selection to choose from is selected. I don't think free reign in someone elses humidor is ever proper. You never know if a stick is special to someone regardles of its monetary value.

Keith
 
Usually I'll make a recommendation, or pick out a few that I think they'll enjoy. That's more for people I know however. I'd second the "take your pick, except for..." comment. Personally I wouldn't want to part with any singles I'm saving to try at a later date, but anything I've smoked, or have more of, is fair game.
 
Your post reminded me of a former salesman that worked for me. He wanted to be a part of my small get together with one or 2 friends. I told him it was only for cigar smokers. His reply was that he smokes cigars "all the time" I knew he was full of it so I thought he would enjoy a CAO MX-2. About 10 minutes later he looked like a green light at an intersection. :( If he weren't such a smart ass I would have found him something he might have enjoyed. In the end, I normally will start someone off with a mild cigar then work them up to something more full flavored if they don't already have a cigar they prefer. It's always nice to bring someone of good nature into our world. :thumbs:
 
Good question.

Within my family and circle of friends, I seem to be the most knowledgeable about cigars...and because of this I am usually asked to select a cigar for them when they visit my house. It is also a known fact that NO ONE goes in any of my humidors without my permission, except one of my son's friends who went in and took a Cohiba Esplendidos out of my Aristocrat, bit off the end, lit it up, took 2-3 puffs then dropped it in a cup of beer! I still haven't smoked one of them yet...go figure.

Most of my guests that decide to smoke with me will describe what they would like to smoke depending on their mood (and what we are eating & drinking) and I suggest a few examples based on my experiences with that cigar and then we make a selection together. When my more experienced smoker friends come over, we go over to my cigars and I usually suggest a newer stick that may have just come out or I know of one they haven't tried yet and they decide.

Over all these years, some of them have developed a taste for certain cigars. My middle brother loves Padron '64s (Exclusivos in particular) and if given a choice of anything I have, he'll take that cigar 90% of the time. My older brother likes anything Fuente Hemingway, my friend Walter loves a maduro wrapper so I usually surprise him with a new stick when he visits....etc. I'd rather a person like what they smoke because they've smoked it before rather than giving them something new that they may not like. There is a select few that can take anything they want out of any of my humidors because I know they will appreciate the cigars for what it is.

No matter how it goes, I'm usually in the center of the selection process only because I smoke more than them.
 
Just pull a box of one type cigar out. Everybody smokes the same cigars, no competition, etc.
 
Excellent points, thank you. I had originally thought perhaps it was commonplace to fill a small 20 count with a varied assortment and keep it on the living room table for random guests. I don't want to put somebody on the spot of having to choose among gift cigars they may not be familiar with. I certainly don't want them feeling obligated out of courtesty to smoke it if they're not enjoying it. It's good to hear that it wouldn't be considered impolite to "present". I do have some fairly mild and gentle offerings.

In that situation, it seems it would be appropriate to smoke the same. Maybe that's a poor assumption.


Sounds like I really should just play it by ear and see where it goes. Hey, for all I know, he may come bearing his own!
 
You said he smokes a pipe, why not take him down to the B&M and pick out some pipe tobacco while you check selection?
I smoke a pipe once in a while too so lighting up a bowl with him might bond initially, and then work your way back to cigars.
my .02
 
I don't have many friends that enjoy cigars like I do. However, for those that do or are interested, I have a 50 ct. humidor I reserve for guests. It contains an assortment of cigars (but always at least two of each) from mild to full flavored and ranging from the DR, NC and ISOM. All are great cigars though (IMHO), and all are hand made preimiums (No seconds, bundles, or store brands). I would never give a friend/guest a cigar that I would not smoke and enjoy myself. If a guest who is a cigar virgin (1st time) or novice is interested in a smoke, I will make a recommendation, but they are free to choose from any of the sticks available. There are occasions when I will break out a box of a particular cigar that I think everyone at the table would enjoy, during these instances we all smoke the same cigar, but I wouldn't do that without getting a consensus first. Some people just have certain preferences, but they are guests in my home and deserve every courtesy, even if they are my wife's friends - who I may not really know. However, special cigars that I have reserved for anniverseries, birthdays, and other special occasions, or cigars that I am aging, I place in a large humidor in my office (which is off limits to everyone, but family) and there they remain, out of sight and out of danger. These cigars are off limits, even to me, except during said special occasions, or until they are ready to be smoked and enjoyed by all after aging for a bit. There are many styles of etiquette that work, no specific type is perfect, and none work for everyone. All of the suggestions here are valid, and in all honest...a good guest should be satisfied and accepting of whatever cigar he is offered by his/her host. That is etiquette on their part.
 
I'd just ask him if he wants a cigar and then ask him what he likes. If I didn't have exactly what he likes, I'd figure out what I had that's similar and offer that. It's the same way I'd offer someone a drink.

If I (or TheWife(c) ) have invited someone into our home, they are offered the best of what we have available in all regards. I'm not going to let someone raid my stash, but I don't hold back on anything unless it was a specific gift to me from someone else. I do try to make our guests feel as welcome as possible and that includes not offering them a Power Ranger if they've never smoked a cigar and offering them something they are more likely to enjoy. There are very few people I would just open my humidor to and tell them to have at it. None of them have made it up here yet.

Were I in your position, Wolfie, I'd go down to the local B&M (if I had one :( ) and pick up an ounce or two of 2 or 3 of their house pipe tobacco blends for him. It will give him something new to try and show that you've thought about his arrival and comfort ahead of time. It will cost you all of about $10 or so. Just an idea.
 
When I know Im going to have a cigar with friend that doesnt regularly smoke cigars or hasnt smoked at all I always start with the same stick: Oliva Serie G. You cant go wrong, its cheap and sweet which, always seems to be a hit with new smokers.

I know when I first started smoking I was a Cameroon nut, I didnt like those "spicy" cigars. If they've smoked before and are a little more experienced ill usually offer them a Connecticut wrapper cigar. After that Ill usually let them pick out from a few cigars that I selected based on what I think they will enjoy.

This is the process I used to wean my buddy off of Swisher's to smoking premium Sun Growns and full bodies with me now! Its great to have a close friend to smoke with, and its even better when they start bringing you cigars you can enjoy too! :p
 
I will either bring a small selection out for them to choose or pick for the guest. Usually it is one of my closer friends that i enjoy sharing something special.
 
I was with a few friends over the weekend, we went out to the track to watch the horse races, which really isn't my thing, but it was an opportunity to smoke with some new scenery. I brought 6 cigars with me to serve the 3 of us, four were RASS, one San Cristobal La Punta, and one Trinidad Robustos Extra. The two unique cigars I have not personally tried yet. Well, upon breaking out the bag, I went to get a drink from the bar and left it in the hands of my friends for them two light up one RASS each, although I didn't specify. Needless to say, they both said they enjoyed their first ISOMs.

For now on, I'm going to carry two plastic bags, one for guests, and one for myself.
 
I'll echo a few of the other posts. If they are an experienced smoke they can choose barring a good reason to hold back one our two. I always keep a few cheap (but good) mild and maduro cigars.

For the virgin I equate the cigars to coffee. If you pour sugar and cream in yours then keep it mild. If you like it black then be daring and go spicy. (Ironic that I hate coffe yet love cigars)
 
Good stuff. I'm learning new stuff from this site all the time!
 
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