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How would you respond?

Attn; Spammer,
I am the individual you seemingly keep spamming the inbox of. I am hereby so pissed off with
you that the 10.220.542 EUROS you "worked" so hard for to invest, have now been invested in
a very good stock, my pocket. This is the only good business I can contemplate that is worth
your investment. Now I ask you this, Mr. David John.

Attn; Dumbass,
I am a selfish with my money. I am hereby impressed with your willingness to donate so much money to
someone who needs it more. I currently have 20.442.144 Dollars which I am looking to invest in
your country. Please advice me on what I can open or invest in your country with this money.
Investment, such as company or any good business you can think off. Also have
this in mind that you will be the director of the company or any business we will
open.

By the time you get back to me we shall talk more and you will know what we are to do with your money.

I am looking forward to selfishly wasting your money to never hear from you or see you in my inbox again.

Yours,

Selfish Asshat

P.S. So how's it feel? Send some crap to my inbox like this again, and I will make sure you never send another email again. Have a great day!
 
Mick's is going to be tough to beat. If you'd throw in "Would you like some beef jerkey? There's plenty you know?" I think you might have the winner.
 
Dear Sir,
I am pleased to hello. Allow me to insert my pleasure for your contacting my admiration. I know I am not but help I am happy. There are not included details developing between we. Can you examine information missing me? I work by English Language Institute and have orgasm with your contact me.
I can contact me at the following linkage. (click this link only if you know how to stop a loop CP)

George Washington at home
Sincerely,
George Washington
 
tsmckenney said:
My Freind,

So good to hear the news! Blessed be to God. I am very good to be working with you. I have many monies to. So with our monies we can have the goat. Yes. Fat in the stomach. Yes. Please I want to visit your country and be with my brother. It is a long journey. Yes. First I will be wanting a long good job of hand from your sister. Yes. Let us then eat the goat. Yes. We barbicue the beast and then we lay down with your sister. Yes. Ok. It is good to know you brother. With our monies and big Hollywood investiment we will be fat in the stomach. Yes. Blessed is our God.

Your freind
sincerely,

tak care

Gary


N.B. I bring a nice new dress for your sister OK.
Click to expand...


That is by far the best yet. LMAO!!!!!
 
You guys got it all wrong. I think Gary should reciprocate and have the courtesy to respond in David's native tongue:

Beau jour mon ami,
Je voudrais vous aider mais seulement si vous dormiriez avec moi.

Amour
Gary
 
I had kinda the same incident only mine was through an instant message. It was a female who claimed to be from the Houston area, who's job was investing in "Fine arts." She proceeded to tell me that her parents moved to Africa and she was there visiting. After a few conversations I guess to "warm" me up to her. ,he then told me this sob story of how she was in a horrific car crash, losing her parents. She was stuck in this hospital cause she had no money to pay her hospital bill. So at first I felt very bad for this girl, I told her to try the US Embassy. She replyed they wouldnt help her, and wanted me to wire over $500 to pay her medical bills and she would pay me back when she came back to Houston. So now the little mouse is turning the cog inside my simple mind :D I asked her where she lived in Houston and some simple landmark questions that anyone from Houston should know. And low and behold she couldn't answer any of them.

"As far as I know it was a girl, but it was probably not"

So I guess what I'm getting at is feel the situation out first, if ever in your mind it seems a little off just ditch it.

Vern
 
Dear Mr. John

Once I have finished helping a prince from Africa get his money free from an illegal freeze put on his cash. I should have a great venture capital for you to invest in. I am looking forward to becoming rich with the prince and yourself. I can't believe the LUCK I am having this month :) I am thinking a rabbit farm/hunting base. Many of the people in my country are fans of the Rabbit hunt.


Thank you again for this wonderful offer!!

Elmer Fudd
 
SamClemmons said:
Dear Sir,
I am pleased to hello. Allow me to insert my pleasure for your contacting my admiration. I know I am not but help I am happy. There are not included details developing between we. Can you examine information missing me? I work by English Language Institute and have orgasm with your contact me.
I can contact me at the following linkage. (click this link only if you know how to stop a loop CP)

George Washington at home
Sincerely,
George Washington
Click to expand...

I'm so glad to be in good control of my bladder! I just about lost it with the muffinman.
 
Praise allah! We have been looking for someone to invest in our... ventures, and allah has lead you straight to us! We backtracked your location through the IP address used to send this e-mail, and we have dispatch a small group of associates to pickup our money that you wish to invest with us. If you would prefer to save us a trip from the airport to your front door though, please deposit the money equally into the following Swiss Banks - AIG Private Bank Acct#7823941, Amas Bank Acct#1023956 and Banque Diamantaire Acct# 40987351. Then contact me via e-mail once again, our associates would be better served elsewhere in the world. May allah bless you for your kindness, and your ability to fund out jihad... I mean, venture.

Blessings,
O. BinLaden
 
tsmckenney said:
My Freind,

So good to hear the news! Blessed be to God. I am very good to be working with you. I have many monies to. So with our monies we can have the goat. Yes. Fat in the stomach. Yes. Please I want to visit your country and be with my brother. It is a long journey. Yes. First I will be wanting a long good job of hand from your sister. Yes. Let us then eat the goat. Yes. We barbicue the beast and then we lay down with your sister. Yes. Ok. It is good to know you brother. With our monies and big Hollywood investiment we will be fat in the stomach. Yes. Blessed is our God.

Your freind
sincerely,

tak care

Gary


N.B. I bring a nice new dress for your sister OK.
Click to expand...

I was honestly going to give it a try, but I just cannot top this!! I was laughing for a full 5 minutes until my wife came over to find out what the hell was wrong with me!!!

Excellent job!
 
Dear sir,

After just returned from the great united state Nevada, I have investment idea us both rich. I only need monies you and choice you red or black.
 
souldog24ca said:
tsmckenney said:
My Freind,

So good to hear the news! Blessed be to God. I am very good to be working with you. I have many monies to. So with our monies we can have the goat. Yes. Fat in the stomach. Yes. Please I want to visit your country and be with my brother. It is a long journey. Yes. First I will be wanting a long good job of hand from your sister. Yes. Let us then eat the goat. Yes. We barbicue the beast and then we lay down with your sister. Yes. Ok. It is good to know you brother. With our monies and big Hollywood investiment we will be fat in the stomach. Yes. Blessed is our God.

Your freind
sincerely,

tak care

Gary


N.B. I bring a nice new dress for your sister OK.
Click to expand...

I was honestly going to give it a try, but I just cannot top this!! I was laughing for a full 5 minutes until my wife came over to find out what the hell was wrong with me!!!

Excellent job!
Click to expand...


I just read that again and I'm still LMAO............
 
Here are three great websites that get the scammers back. Worth a look!!!

Payback is a bi**h!

http://www.419eater.com/index.htm

http://www.thespamletters.com/


Two examples:

Savimbi.jpg


STANDING-MAN.jpg
 
tsmckenney said:
My Freind,

So good to hear the news! Blessed be to God. I am very good to be working with you. I have many monies to. So with our monies we can have the goat. Yes. Fat in the stomach. Yes. Please I want to visit your country and be with my brother. It is a long journey. Yes. First I will be wanting a long good job of hand from your sister. Yes. Let us then eat the goat. Yes. We barbicue the beast and then we lay down with your sister. Yes. Ok. It is good to know you brother. With our monies and big Hollywood investiment we will be fat in the stomach. Yes. Blessed is our God.

Your freind
sincerely,

tak care

Gary


N.B. I bring a nice new dress for your sister OK.
Click to expand...


I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself!! :D (My wife is sitting next to me and she now is certain I have lost all sense of propriety.) Thanks for the great laugh anyway!!
 
The wife and i both cracked up on TSMckennys reply, that's a pisser. :laugh:
 
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