Well, for about a year now, I've been getting mail for some guy who I don't know, because the company that processes my car loan screwed up and put my address into his records. At least I don't get his bill for his car anymore, but I still get tons of junk mail from credit card companies as well as his old college alumni association. Today I got a letter with an email to respond to from his old college, wondering what he's been up to and asking for an update, so I gave it to them as follows:
Hi Shirley,
(Name removed to protect the innocent) here, from the class of 1980, just responding to your letter about current events at the university. Well, you wouldn't believe what I've been doing since graduation! I bummed around for a couple years, didn't really do anything, in fact I ended up homeless in NYC by '83! You wouldn't believe what one will do for food if hungry enough. And then, after I recovered from my heroine habit, I really hit rock bottom, and landed in jail for first degree murder! Well, luckily they let me out on probation about five years ago, since it was my first offense, and I was high as a kite at the time too. Since then I've been mostly working fast food gigs, and doing some dancing/entertaining on the side, although my body certainly isn't what it was back in my football days.
Allright, enough is enough. Obviously I'm not this guy, nor have I ever heard of him. Somehow the company that processes his car loan (same company that holds my loan) screwed up and had my address down for him. And now I get all kinds of junk mail, including your letter, for this guy. Credit card offers, stuff for his wife, xxx xxxxxxx, and lots of junk from your university. Please change your records to show that this address is incorrect, or if you have any way of contacting him besides the address you have on file, do so.
Thanks so much,
Andy
Hi Shirley,
(Name removed to protect the innocent) here, from the class of 1980, just responding to your letter about current events at the university. Well, you wouldn't believe what I've been doing since graduation! I bummed around for a couple years, didn't really do anything, in fact I ended up homeless in NYC by '83! You wouldn't believe what one will do for food if hungry enough. And then, after I recovered from my heroine habit, I really hit rock bottom, and landed in jail for first degree murder! Well, luckily they let me out on probation about five years ago, since it was my first offense, and I was high as a kite at the time too. Since then I've been mostly working fast food gigs, and doing some dancing/entertaining on the side, although my body certainly isn't what it was back in my football days.
Allright, enough is enough. Obviously I'm not this guy, nor have I ever heard of him. Somehow the company that processes his car loan (same company that holds my loan) screwed up and had my address down for him. And now I get all kinds of junk mail, including your letter, for this guy. Credit card offers, stuff for his wife, xxx xxxxxxx, and lots of junk from your university. Please change your records to show that this address is incorrect, or if you have any way of contacting him besides the address you have on file, do so.
Thanks so much,
Andy
:thumbs: 