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Lars-The New Un-bias REVIEW

TheBeast

The Man, The Myth, The Legend
Joined
Mar 30, 2002
Messages
2,239
Ok, first I'd like to thank Wileguile and Raginbull for their generousity in supplying the sticks for review.  They really came through on their promise :thumbs: .

As soon as I opened the box It smelled like a Hindu whore house.  I guess I didn't know what to expect.  Well, I knew they were strong, so the 1st one I smoked was the D-3.  I'll tell you what...less than a minute after I lit it...my wife asked me if I was smoking weed.  I'm not saying I know anything about this, but is this tobacco or Skunk#1??  I felt the urge to break out the lava lamp and tie die t-shirt.  Wow!! remember the Grateful Dead?  Those were the days :lookup: .  Now I won't deny that this smoke has something to offer, because it does.  It's full of flavor and smokes real nice.  I'm not real sure where the argument is comparing these to ISOM's.  It's hard to put these in a "CIGAR" category.  It's like comparing apples to oranges.  I would have to think that most (not all) serious herfers are into the 100% leaf.  These are an aquired taste.  The biggest shock is the price.  I checked out tetens.com...WOW!!!  This Lars Tetens...who they preach about being some kind of "god" or revolutionary.  Artist-cigar giant-skateboard maker-bla, bla, bla, bla. I tell ya what his biggest victory is, convincing people that his product is worth that kind of lute.  If this cat ever rights a book about how he built his empire, I'll buy that (although it'll sell for $2000 a copy I'm sure).  ;)

The D-1

Talk about being tied to a tree and getting kicked in the nuts.  HOLY SH*T!!!  That's one heavy smoke.  It's hard to get past the intense herbal flavors. I had the opportunity to pass on along to my tobacconist, who was yet to have one.  His assessment was a match to mine.

These aren't what I look for in a gar.  I can understand others appreciating what they offer, but I'll have to side with the ISOM supporters. :D

:sign: I thank everyone again for letting me check out something I've never had.  It was fun. :)
 
Heckuva review! I loved the part about the lava lamp and the Dead, brought back some memories!!!

Well, I know I will stick to what I've been smokin'!!!

Thanks for taking the plunge, Beast!

Great post!

Leebo :p
 
Lars Tetens I put in a diffrent catagory then other gars

I don't know why people compair them to ISOM's

you can't, it's 2 diffrent animals

but I have joined a few weeks ago to his chat room 24a69.com

I don't post much but I do read and look at all those young sexy girls, 15 & 16 talking about the art of BJ's

nice :D
 
Henry your right. Totally different category. I've never had an ACID either, are those similiar??? Anyone know??? :sign:
 
Great review :thumbs: ! And you're right, these smokes are not for everyone (Lars fan lingo). I too had my first experience with the Tesshu Deluxe this week. Woohoo! It really is something indescribable. About the limited info...I just sent you my snailer. I appreciate the offer to return the favor. My wife and I have agreed to limit the personal info on the net because of an experience we had a couple yaers ago. Not pretty :angry: . Dave WF also has my address. Enjoy the Shorty (my personal favorite) when you get to it. It's a whole different experience from the Tesshu Deluxe. Not as powerful, but you'll still find unlike anything else.
 
...And ACID is definitely nothing like a Lars. For the Tetens smoker, ACID is like trying to satisfy a craving for gourmet chocolate truffles with M&M's. They're harsh, almost ammonia-like and the flavor (if you'd like to call it that) is clearly topically added. There's no dimension to it at all.
 
I tried an acid even though the gar store owner told me it was crap and it was like a fake rolex verses the real thing

sorry to say it was crap

but I still tried a few more just on the off chance people might be wrong

they weren't ???

well I smoke at least 1 le proxenete a day and a tesshu deluxe or 2 a day :D

sometimes I smoke other stuff of Lars like the WBC and Millhous and other ones I can't remember the names
 
aw, come on matt r. we're all one big happy family here. did the unbiased review quiet you down? anyway, i put my snailer on the package. not hiding anything. i just have had people send me mail and packages and even call me trying to sell me things, or get me to invest in some project because i make good money. i hate the hassle so i just don't post my info. i give it out to the people who are genuinely intersted and who i feel won't abuse the courtousy. besides, the "family" aren't the only ones on the web, you know. other people can get the info. i am relaxed, just cautious. there's a difference. thanks for keeping an open mind and for being honest. review is what i expected. hope you enjoy the treats i added! consider them a "reward" for "taking the plunge", for trying something new with an open mind. enjoy em, since they're made for smokin!
 
wileguile said:
aw, come on matt r.  we're all one big happy family here.  did the unbiased review quiet you down?  
I agree that a great review was done. While he was gracious in his wording and not overly critical I would hardly think it was a favorable review to Lars....... maybe a credit to their marketing (cult following) but I didn't read anything positive about the smoke itself. Maybe I should reread it.

What I don't understand is why some of you are trying to shove these things in our faces as the best thing since slice bread. Your opinion is that they're great....mine is that they s*ck. If you like them fine..... but after I tried to smoke one I cringed thinking someone actually liked them. Different strokes for different folks. Its why they make Choc and Vanilla. Move on....this horse is dead!

(The Horse described above bears no likeness to our beloved Mark :cool: )
 
wileguile said:
......courtousy.  
Nope, just that I agree with almost everything he said, though I tend to say it like this: They are one-dimensional, urinal cake smelling, dog rockets and in general suck.

On a side note from the Lars thing, I have a feeling a few of us are getting a bit tired of hearing how much money you have in you bank account and your generally crappy attitude. Maybe you could buy yourself a dictionary with some of the mega-bucks.

Sorry Rod and the others if I am being a bit harsh here. I apologize, but the point needs to be made. IMHO
 
Thanks mat.
To me to be blunt - the anoymous nature puts me on alert.
I have seen too many charictors online who preffered to stay anonymous for reasons that where not good.
 
Allofus123 said:
I agree that a great review was done. While he was gracious in his wording and not overly critical I would hardly think it was a favorable review to Lars....... maybe a credit to their marketing (cult following) but I didn't read anything positive about the smoke itself. Maybe I should reread it.
No need to reread it, it wasn't meant to be farvorable. Lars is not a cigar. Atleast not what I call a cigar. Unlike others, I do however think it has smokable value. I'm just not giving up any of my isom's or DM's for these things. :p But if someones hands me one, I wouldn't be offended. ;)

And yes, if I'm impressed with anything it's the marketing of this product. :cool:

"In 1492, the cigar industry was destroyed. When Columbus came to the islands, he raped and pillaged the indigenous community. Do you think they then would teach (the Europeans) the ancient ways of cigar making? For centuries the ancient ways of making cigars was lost. Until now."

"Lars Tetens spent years doing research to rediscover the ancient techniques of manufacturing cigars, Through an ancient secret conditioning process Lars Tetens has brought back the spirit of the cigar. Real cigar connoisseurs worldwide recognize him to be the great champion of the true old world cigar. Now you too can experience what cigar connoisseurs worldwide are embracing as the cigar of the future, brought back from the past. If you have the wherewithal, nothing else but a Lars Tetens will do."

""Real cigar connoisseurs worldwide recognize him to be the great champion of the true old world cigar."" LMFAO.
:sign:

:p I'm tellin ya, this stuff is ripe.

TESSHU DELUXE:

"This cigar is the flagship of the Lars Tetens line of cigars. This is not mild and not for the weak of heart or bank account. This is one of the strongest cigars that Lars manufacturers. Please, DO NOT even order your first one if you can’t afford an expensive habit, because once you’ve tasted these cigars it’s hard to go back to anything else."

PLEEEAASSSSE!!! :lookup:
 
:lookup:

I would certainly not give up my ISOM's

I like them both

But not in the same hummi

Separate but equal
:thumbs:
 
Hey wileguile, I have this idea to open a cigar shop here in my area and I just nedd a few.....

Oh, sorry, caught myself before I asked you to invest. :D

Hey RagingBull? Dude, I am gonna start with one of those little ones today, kindof work my way up to the phat ones.
I have them in a zippered leather case and have it open on my desk to get use to the smell. It is growing on me.
 
Wow, I know you guys don't want to beat a dead horse (sorry for the play on words there, mark) but I just had one of the little 4x30 models. I got plenty of favorable comments on the nose of this cigar from bystanders in the Courtyard here at my office.
The taste was different than anything I ever smoked. It was not bad, just different. I am going to reserve my opinion of this line until I have tried one of the larger ones so as to experience the true life of this cigar. But so far I am not displeased.
I must add here that after smoking one of these, I do not smell as if I had smoked a cigar, more like that I just left a whore house (which does wonders for my "Tired worn out old man" image!!!!!!!!!!
:lookup:
 
PuroBrat said:
I must add here that after smoking one of these, I do not smell as if I had smoked a cigar, more like that I just left a whore house (which does wonders for my "Tired worn out old
HINDU whore house! I've narrowed it down. :D

:sign: You go for it Puro. Make sure you smoke that D-1 real fast.LMAO. :lookup:
 
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