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Overstock Contest!

B

boonedoggle

???
Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
1,851
As I further attempt to make more room in my humi, I believe it’s time to clear some of my smokes that have been sitting in there for a while. What better way than to have a contest?!

I’ll cut to the chase; I am interested in hearing about pick-up lines. Post your best pick-up lines, how it was used, if it was successful or not, etc, in a paragraph or less…because I have a short attention span. Best story/pick-up line wins. HINT: Best usually means the funniest or the most embarrassing!

Rules:
-I know many people are married, so you haven’t used pick-up lines in a while…It doesn’t matter if one of your buddies used it, you overheard it, or used it yourself
-Ladies, this contest is for you too! Maybe you’re that aggressive type that likes to use lines on guys…or maybe someone had a real cheesy line for you
-I don’t want to get too insane and/or creepy…no pick-up lines used on family members, including cousins, sisters, brothers, mom, dad; nor associations you may or may not have had with an animal of any sort. (you know who you are!)


I’ll let this one go until Friday or Saturday.

The winner gets a bag (not sure how many yet) of some of my oldies but goodies; smokes I liked when I just began smoking: Baccarat, La Corona, Don Tomas, etc. I’ll be scratching around the humidor all week seeing what I have. Granted, these aren’t super fancy cigars, but are very tasty with the right occasion (lawn work, etc) As usual, I’ll probably throw in a nice(er) stick or two.

That’s it. Good luck. This should be interesting! :D
 
"UNNGGGHHHH"

I was moving some rocks last weekend.
 
"You know the difference between a hamburger and a Blowjob"

"No" she says

"Well then, how about lunch tomorrow"
 
Thanks for the contest Jimmy.

This actually happened with a friend of mine. (No, it wasn't me. I don't have the noogies to pull this off.)

Wade (my buddy's name) asked this great looking girl for a couple of dances, and then asked her if she'd like a drink. She winked at him and said "Sure".

He looked at her and said "Before I blow my whole paycheck on you, are you going to take me home and f**k my brains out?"

He didn't have to buy her a second drink. They left within 15 minutes.

I tell ya, that guy had a set. Another night he asked a girl to dance and she said no thanks. He said "I guess a blow job's out of the question then, eh??" He left with her too.

Must be nice.
 
Another one for when you get shot down...

Can I buy you a drink

Hell no

You wanna dance

Hell no I don't want to dance, I didn't want you to buy me a drink either!!



Dance,what do you mean dance? I said you look fat in those pants.


Then just walk away, cause you got her..
 
I told the girl who gave me crabs: "You're the clam in my chowder".

And, yes, I'm better now, thanks for your concern.
 
You Know... I post on the same bulliten board as Boonedoggle...

They always want to go home with me when they hear that. :D
 
Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes.

I only have 12 hours to live! Please don't let me die a virgin!

I love the way you move; like butter on a bald monkey.

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

Thanks for the contest boonedoggle!

Good luck every one! :D
 
"Pardon me miss, but can you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that sleazy hotel across the street."
 
Him, "Do you make love to strangers?"
Her, "No."
Him, "Let me introduce myself then."
 
Being a newbie to this board, I might as well throw this one out there and embarass myself.

A few years ago before I met my girlfriend, I enjoyed going out a little too much. After a very stressful period of time at work (3 straight weeks of 70 hour billable weeks, i.e. more like 80-85 hours a week @ work), myself and some friends from work went out to our favorite drinking establishment. This is not a trendy place in the least, it is an old fashioned bar. Good jukebox, nice ambience, dark and smoke filled (they are cigar friendly), and the strongest mixed drinks I have ever had in my life. Think of a tumbler with ice, liquor and maybe 1-2 tablespoons of your favorite mixer. I always tell people I take there that they must actually enjoy the taste of the liquor they order or they are going to hate their drink.

I digress. Anyway, as you can imagine, it doesn't take too many of these drinks before a person is a mess. I was no exception that night. Not sure how many I had, because I don't remember. The following was told to me by friends who were there that night.

An attractive young lady walks into the bar. Ironically enough, she knows one of the girls I am there with, one of my co-workers. They start talking an what not. Finally, being very intoxicated, I make my way over to her and start talking. Within 5 seconds, I am yelling at her. Not yelling anything bad, I am just shouting everything someone would say in a normal conversation. I asked her 3-4 times what her name was. I then asked her how she was doing, loudly. After about 30-45 seconds, my female co-worker who knew this girl comes over to me and asks why I am yelling. I believe my words were something to the effect, "It's ok, she is deaf." My female co-worker looks at me and says, "Dumbass, her name is Steph." In my drunkeness, I misheard and thought she was deaf, and more amusingly, thought that yelling would make her hear me. Needless to say, that didn't work out too well.

I guess there is really no pick up line there, I shot myself in the foot before it got to that point.
 
Would you like to see my battle scars? :rolleyes:

Doc.
 
Thanks for the contest.

Sorry, didn't see you there... here, let me help you up. :sign:
 
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?" :rolleyes: :whistling: :laugh:
 
wilmotrogers said:
Being a newbie to this board, I might as well throw this one out there and embarass myself.

A few years ago before I met my girlfriend, I enjoyed going out a little too much. After a very stressful period of time at work (3 straight weeks of 70 hour billable weeks, i.e. more like 80-85 hours a week @ work), myself and some friends from work went out to our favorite drinking establishment. This is not a trendy place in the least, it is an old fashioned bar. Good jukebox, nice ambience, dark and smoke filled (they are cigar friendly), and the strongest mixed drinks I have ever had in my life. Think of a tumbler with ice, liquor and maybe 1-2 tablespoons of your favorite mixer. I always tell people I take there that they must actually enjoy the taste of the liquor they order or they are going to hate their drink.

I digress. Anyway, as you can imagine, it doesn't take too many of these drinks before a person is a mess. I was no exception that night. Not sure how many I had, because I don't remember. The following was told to me by friends who were there that night.

An attractive young lady walks into the bar. Ironically enough, she knows one of the girls I am there with, one of my co-workers. They start talking an what not. Finally, being very intoxicated, I make my way over to her and start talking. Within 5 seconds, I am yelling at her. Not yelling anything bad, I am just shouting everything someone would say in a normal conversation. I asked her 3-4 times what her name was. I then asked her how she was doing, loudly. After about 30-45 seconds, my female co-worker who knew this girl comes over to me and asks why I am yelling. I believe my words were something to the effect, "It's ok, she is deaf." My female co-worker looks at me and says, "Dumbass, her name is Steph." In my drunkeness, I misheard and thought she was deaf, and more amusingly, thought that yelling would make her hear me. Needless to say, that didn't work out too well.

I guess there is really no pick up line there, I shot myself in the foot before it got to that point.
Click to expand...

ROTFLMAO! Thanks, I needed that. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Wilkey
 
I gave the other Jarheads a chance. The classic Marine line is: Marines; first in, last out.

Works pretty well when in Dress Blues.
 
Hey, are you going to be walking to your car alone tonight?
Cool, I'll be the guy watching you all night.....


Hey hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself.... in your pants.

My love for you is like diarreah, I just can't hold it in.

If you were a booger I'd pick you.

Excuse me, do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Well, if you ever want a manfriend, here's my number.
 
It's not funny, but back in my single days, my line was "Excuse me, do you have an aspirin?" Nine times out of ten, she'd say, "Do you have a headache?" and we'd start talking. It worked a lot!
 
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