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gwd said:
It's not funny, but back in my single days, my line was "Excuse me, do you have an aspirin?" Nine times out of ten, she'd say, "Do you have a headache?" and we'd start talking. It worked a lot!
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Hey, that's pretty smart. If There's one thing women have in common it's H/A's

Doc.
 
Excuse me but my penis is dying to buy you a drink
 
Years ago, I was in a department store buying some clothes. As I looked around menswear for a manned checkout, a woman from across the aisle in the women's section said, "Sir, I can take you over here." Not quite sotto voce, I replied, "Yeah, but can you take me all the way?"

I don't know how long I was unconsious but witnesses said my (now ex-) wife was pretty pissed.
 
Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?? I thought you knew...

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Fuck me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Amy?

Excuse me, but my ears are cold, may I use your thighs as earmuffs?

I am going to have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there.

If it's true that we are what we eat, than I could be you by morning.

Hi my name is Eric...now you know what to scream when we have sex.

I see you are a bird watcher...(unzip and pull out your tool)...Would you take this for a swallow?

Use your index finger to call a woman over then say...I made you come with one finger, imagine what I can do with my whole hand.

Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?

And finally....Excuse me, but the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you.
 
A:How much does a polar bear weigh?
B: I dunno
A: Just enough to break the ice.

If she's wise to that and says just enough to break the ice you fire back with this:

Most adult males weigh from 660 to 1300 lbs and adult females between 420 to 650 lbs. What the hell were you talking about?
 
Saw this on TV


Guy walks up talking on Cell Phone looks at girl hangs phone up. Hands phone to girl and says I'll call you and walks off.



Second


Girl theirs not but two things wrong with you.

Girl: What

I would either be eating good f@#king or f@#king good eating.
 
It’s becoming painfully obvious that there are a lot of lonely guys here on CP :p
 
WOW! Some really nice pick-up lines from posted! Since it is Friday, I've gotten a winner as promised. AND THE WINNER IS KFJ! Short, sweet, to-the-point, nasty and crass...all in less words to describe it! Congrats man! If your snailer isn't in your profile, just PM me. I'll round these up and probably send them out Monday. Thanks for playing everyone! Maybe someone got something out of this and can use it on his or her next night out! :laugh:
 
PARDON ME, MA'AM. I'D STAND UP BUT MY UROLOGIST TOLD ME NOT TO LIFT ANYTHING HEAVY.
 
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