• Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

Random Story of the Day

Hey Jolly, My wife decided to read your stories and asked what this guy does for a job. I told her I think he's in college and she asked what your major is and I told her I don't know. She then says you need to take some more classes to occupy your time. :sign: :sign: :sign:
 
heh. major: was computer science, turned to premed (bio)


these stories take like 5 minutes to write, and very little time to think up.
what do you think i do in class all day? learn? ha.
 
Jolly, Fire seems to be a main focus in your stories. You should explore this more and think about what the fire symbolizes in you life.


:0 :0 :p :p :sign:
 
actually, most of them involve violence, but they were the stories that came and went before i posted them on here.

fire=awesomeness?
 
Okay kiddies, here's today's post
and burninate is a subtle refference to www.homestarrunner.com (and strong bad's email)


Since i waas bored, i decided to flush myself down the toilet to see what i could find. To prepare for this trip, i obtained an oxygen tank and mask, other various scuba gear, a flashlight, and a spork. Always remember the spork, you might need to jab someone with it. So down i went, and what i saw down there was amazing. It was like a tropical paradise. There was elvis (pre-ugly) doing the robot with good ol ghandi who had a nice knife in his neck. Then there was mister rogers. MISTER ROGERS! he was singing his song and telling all the mutant rats about wanting to be his neighbor. When he saw me, he was like, oh crap. So he mowed us all down with his colt m4a1.
 
Maybe he thought you were gonna blow his cover! Can't let THAT happen!
 
should i make these on saturday's or sundays? hmm

i woke up today at 4:30 pm. ( i took a long sleeep)
so, it wouldn't be much of a story.

maybe later.
 
okay, i have been off track for a while. time for another episode, no?


so one day, this squirrel decides that he is bored and wants to eat some licorice. but the licorice is actually an electric cabel and he deicdes to eat it by biting the electic cable. so, once he bites the cable you would think he gets electocuted, but no! he gets mildly shocked, and posesses SUPERELECTRIC POWERS! He can shock anyone by touching him, and can travel through electricity. so he decides to abuse it a little by going into people's homes and screwin with them a little. he eats their crap and makes a mess, and leaves through the sockets. so one day, he decids to steal some nuts off the coffee table of one family that he had terrorized before. unfortunatly the family was asian and prepared for him. they caught him, cooked him, and ate him. THE END
 
I'm not sure if your on your normal meds there Jolly cause the stories have been off a little lately....... :D :thumbs: :p
 
okay here we gooooo


Bob was a hyper hypo. One day, this dude named Phil decided to give him some of his orange juice. He told bob that it was orange flavored water. It was actually orange soda with a crap load of caffiene. Phil went to the bathroom and came back. When he entered the room, it was a freakin jungle. There was saliva all over the table and it was leaning against the wall. The tv looked violated. In fact, just about everything looked violated. Bob was hanging from the ceiling and spitting at everything. Phil had no choice but to shoot bob down. the first shot didn't deter bob at all. it took phil 11 shots to make bob fall down. phil learned his lesson. never give any sugar or caffiene to a hyper hypo.
 
i've been busy and i forgot,
if i feel like doing two by the end of the first story, i shall do so.


Jack was playing his guitar in the garage. He was also playing the guitar. Now, Jack wasn't a very good guitar player, but he was trying. Some people stopped by the garage, looked at him a second and started to laugh. This was when a muffled gun shot was heard and the guy dropped to the ground. The gun came from the guitar. After a while, there was a nice pile of bodies in front of Jack's garage. Jack was actually practicing to be an agent that cold kill while playing stuff. The police came because some people saw the big pile of bodies. The police asked Jack to put the guitar down. Jack decided to comply and put his guitar in the case. In his case, however, was a nice buckshot and he blew away the officer. Jack applied to the CIA and was accepted.


Hmm, i feel like another one is commin on.

There was once a bum named Tom. Tom had a dual Ph.D in psychology and chemistry. Now, why was he a bum, you might ask? He was a bum because he was a lazy, and enjoyed bum life. He liked to dig in dumpsters for random junk and keep it. He liked to eat whatever food he could find. He liked meeting other fellow bums. He liked how he could wander around for days, all smelly, not showering and people leaving him alone. Ah, who am I kidding. Tom hated it. He got screwed over by someone he knew. So he decided to pose as a bum to get close to his house, because he would get shot at by the body guards other wise. Tom created a nice molotov cocktail with a nice explosive in the liquid part. He threw it at the house, and it exploded. Tom went in and took his money back. He got himself a egg sandwich. Tom was happy.
 
okay. i've been slacking off again. this was buried three pages deep.


As a baby, John was always into fire. He would always play near the fireplace, or play with matches in the kitchen. There was always the lighters that his parents used when smoking cigars that were "child proof", but john was smart enough to figure out how to get around it. One day, John burned the house down. He used a can of bug spray, and held a lighter in front of the spray, and turned it into a flame thrower. Since he was just a baby, john couldn't get out of the house. he survived by climbing into the oven. however, he lost some of his sight. he could only see things in black and white.

moral of story? don't play with fire. only i can play with fire.



okay, that was just a mediocre story.
here's another one.


one day, while i was running a photocopy chore for my boss, i decided to photocopy my butt. However, what came out, was another me! I was like, woah, how can i use this to my advantage? I think the other me was thinking the same thing. So, i decided to photocopy myself 3 or 4 times. I would change one's look to make him not look quite like me, and he can hit on girls. Another would be for doing my work so i could get money. The last one would be for school. I'd sit back, and smoke a cigar and watch them all work. In the meantime, i took one my humidor and photocopied it a few times. Oh man, I decided to withdrawl 5000 bucks from my account and photocopy it, a couple million times. I realized that i didnt' need my clones anymore, cause with money, well, i can buy anything. So i stabbed them all in the neck. However, since they were like me, they were used to getting stabbed there, and didn't feel a thing. So i took a few molotov cocktails and burned them down to the ground.
 
WOW, bro. The first one was wierd. cause I think you would burn up inside the oven anyway.

The second one makes me ask the question, so you think someone could stab you in the neck and you would be fine??


Phil ??? ???
 
heh. we'll just have to see, won't we :p

i think it'd be kind of hard to burn an oven up.
 
Dude, you're definatly going to have to slow down on the meth. Prolonged use leads to hallucination and psychosis. If you can't do that at least go back to snorting instead of injecting into your neck.




















;)
 
man, i had to dig 14 pages back to find this thread.
okay. this is more of a dream that i had.


so okay, here's the story.
basically, me and my brother, we were running away from some group. I don't remember whom but it was a huge group. We had to stay incognieto or whatever. we decided to go to france. i knew this couple there who could help me. let's call them Glog and Mazz. This is a hot couple. Now i go to a payphone and call them up. I meet them at their house. All of a sudden, there's this big boom, like a bomb went off. In their apartment, which was like a huge apartment complex, parts of the ceiling came down, and there was crap everywhere. So Glog and Mazz, they toss me and my brother some weapons. We knew that the people found us. We were at the entrance of the building, and we saw people shooting at us. So we were shooting back, hiding behind the wall so we wouldn't get shot. The couple were like bonnie and clyde. It was awesome.

then i woke up.


i'll add to this occasionally. i'm lazy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top