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Rough Week

Brother, thank you for sharing. Life has a way of throwing obstacles our way. Pray not for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. As men, we often can not find the way to humble ourselves to ask for help. A man who asks for help isn't weak, to the contrary, he is one of the strongest men. Save any baby announcements until week 12. Your family has my prayers brother. Be well.

C
 
It takes a type of strength to share so freely. Thank you. I hope your father recovers well and is overjoyed at doing so. I'm sure the new addition to the family will brighten his outlook considerably. Hopefully, the worst is over and skies will be bluer now.
 
Keep your head up Brian I am wishing you well. Take care of the misses as you will soon find out moms are amazing! Congrats on the baby news. Dont worry I wont tell anyone...
 
Just saw this Brian, I am sorry your family has had to go through this. Prayers and thoughts are coming your way! I have always lived my life knowing that everything happens for a reason and the fact that he survived means there is a truly amazing reason! I hope all goes well and let me know if there is anything I can do; other than trading you the Vikings Defense :)
 
It's a little infuriating. He's getting better each day. He can make faces now, shrug and crack jokes. And he can write, albeit slowly.

I went in and said I had some serious questions for him. I wrote down the first one so the nurse couldn't see - "did you do anything illegal" and he raised an eyebrow and looked at me like I was crazy. How could I think that? And I said "well I didn't think you'd do anything like this either... so I have to know." I asked if he owed a bunch if money or gambled a bunch of money away and he asked for the pen. He wrote "just the money you owe me for fantasy football." and he smiled and laughed - referring to how he thinks he's gonna beat me this year.

It's all good stuff. He's being himself. He's dealing with this situation the same way he has always dealt with life - lightheartedly. Cracking jokes. But a part of me is just dreading all the emotional baggage that needs to be unpacked in order to figure out what went wrong, and why doing this is easier than telling anyone how he was feeling.

Physically, he's got the neck brace and the traech and he's getting better. Diabetes is under control. Blood pressure is much better. He's looking more like himself and can move around a little bit with a walker now. Hopefully he'll be able to talk in a month. They're also transferring him to a behavioral focused hospital which will be good.

Overall I'm optimistic. Just hesitant. He's a stubborn guy. It's easy to imagine a world where he says and does all the right things to get through this and get back home and back into his comfort zone. And it's hard to decode what's going through his head. Esp when he can't speak.
 
Feelings of suicide can be fleeting. I've heard it said that that is the most tragic aspect of suicides is that it is a permanent result for a temporary feeling. It could be that he may never have those feelings ever again and the reasons he tried may not exactly be knowable. At any rate, he needs intensive therapy and I'm glad it seems he will be going to a facility that will help him. You guys are still in my thoughts.
 
I wish your father a speedy recovery and congratulations on the baby. I know that this must be really hard for you but just stay strong and perhaps some day he will be able to explain what happened and why he did what he did. Good luck with everything.
 
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