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Strange Cigar Stories

Rod

Rod

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Joined
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Messages
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Location
Upland, CA
First Name
Todd
I'm sure we all have a story, from anti-smokers coughing loudly so you can hear it, to being asked to put out your cigar, etc...

Here's mine:

Went to Vegas last year, and I was sitting in a lounge. I'm smoking an Opus X and really enjoying myself. My girlfriend was next to me, she was smoking a Kahlua. After about 15 min or so, this guy comes by with his wife and another couple, and plops down in front of us. He whips out this cigar. It was about 6 inches or so long. He sticks it in his mouth, wraps his lips around it and pulls it out. Ok, I'm thinking, maybe this guy just wants to get a taste for the cigar... He proceeds to take out a cheap book of matches, and tries to light the cigar. First he had it lit however it was very uneven, only about 20% of the foot was actually lit. After a few minutes it goes out. I observed this for about 10 minutes, until I started feeling sorry for the guy. I get up and walk over to him and say "Excuse me sir, would you like to borrow my cigar lighter?". He gives me the dirtiest look ever, and rudely says "No, I just chew on them." I was like, WTF, attitude problem. No, not just attitude, a$$hole! So I say ok and walk back to my seat. His wife turns around and says "I'm sorry...". No skin off my back, the dude was an a$$hole, so I didn't care. I just kinda winked at this wife, she understood... I was just trying to offer my lighter to a fellow cigar smoker. Guess I was wrong, this guy didn't know crap about cigars. He was probably just trying to look like hot $hit by attempting to smoke/suck/chew/eat his cigar.

So, that's my strange cigar story. What's yours?
 
Mine involves Churchills, Women and National Security. If I told ya, I'd have to kill ya. :whistling:
 
Greetings! During the summer, when we were young teenagers, my buddy and I liked to go down to the river, which was located near our homes, to enjoy some fishing and to smoke. One morning, we were down there, puffing away on our La Corona Whiffs cigars. Well, guess what? My buddy's grandmother walked-up on us unexpectedly, and caught us smoking the La Corona Whiffs. But, rather than scolding or lecturing us, she asked us if she could have one of the cigars! Whew! We thought that we were going to be in big trouble. She was a wonderful grandmother. Regards, knightlaird
 
The summer after I graduated high school my buddy and I went down to St. Maartin for a week before we started college. We brought down this big Phillies blunt, took all the tobacco out and...nevermind.
 
Gave my manager a cigar. Went outside w/ him to smoke. He whips out his pocket knife and cuts the cigar in half and says he'll save the other piece for later. He then proceeds to light the foot piece of the cigar while it's unwrapping in hands, bitching about the damn thing not lighting. Well, after several attempts he gets it 1/2 lit, then bitches that he's tasted better $1 cigars from his smoke shop where he lives.

I gave up after that.
 
one time I was smoking and the girlfriend was beside me. She said something and I pretend that I was gunna burn her with it, and she moved, but then a minute later I did it again and when she didn't move I burned her. Kinda felt bad, but it didn't hurt her to too long. She still laughs about it.
 
I've had a few of these come along over the years. One involved an idiot who believed in peeling off the "outer layer" of his cigar before he smoked it, and yet another who believed in running a lighter up and down the length cigar prior to smoking. But, to this day, the best one of them all that I've experienced....well, I had posted one quite a while back that, to this day, kind of takes the cake in my book of books. Here's the story...as it was posted back in 3/2004:

I thought I'd pretty much seen it all. I mean, I've been around, ya know? But this one just blew me away.

Went to Boston for the weekend. Watched my beloved Red Sox kick the living you know what out of Kansas City on Saturday, while sitting between home plate and first base in one of the greatest ballparks in America. After the game - at least the Red Sox were merciful enough to put KC out of their misery quickly - we went to the house of a "friend" of a family member's. I, always prepared, busted out with the celebratory smokes. In this case, these were the legendary Don Ramon series Partagas Signature 150's. These are absolutely phenomenal, exquisitely hard-to-come-by smokes.

I handed one of the four coffin boxes to the guy whose house we were at and he thanked me, took the box, and then left the room. I thought nothing of it really, but then he returned to the room...the box discarded, the cigar in hand, rubbing something "shiny" all up and down (and around) the cigar. WTF? He walked over and, as he did, the smell quickly revealed just what he was rubbing on to every inch of the 7X52 beauty. What you ask? Get this...Vick's Vapo-Rub. You got it.

Now I try to take as hugely of a "whatever floats your boat" type of mentality as possible. But this just took the cake. I mean, this certainly serves to illustrate the point that there are just some people who deserve nothing more than a good old fashioned beating. Had I known that this type of fate awaited that glorious Partags, I would have rolled up some damn pine needles and given it to the son of a bitch. He proclaimed that he routinely did this with all his cigars - stating that it gives him a good taste and a little "tingle" on the lips. Yeah, fine, tingle on the lips...so will my 10 oz boxing gloves.
 
Nothing too interesting from me...
While walking around Nassau, I bought a couple "cuban" cigars from the various merchants who peddled them out on the streed. I swear, every person out there had a box or two of cigars. "Hey big guy! You want cuban cigars?"

At the time I knew next to nothign about cigars. So I bought a couple. They seemed decent enough, but I distinctly remembered that each one had a taste that reminded me of comet. (you know, the tile/bathroom cleaner stuff).

To this day, I've never had a cigar that tasted like that, and I don't have any idea where the "comet" taste came from. Just weird fakes, I guess.
 
AVB said:
Mine involves Churchills, Women and National Security. If I told ya, I'd have to kill ya. :whistling:
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ROTFLMAO!!! :laugh: :laugh:
 
prefection

Cancun...early summer...Club rum on the rocks...my first Cuban Montecristo #2...sitting on a swing in the bar (all the seats were swings)...tunred to answer someones question and burned the holy hell out of my arm with it...stumbled back..got out of my swing went to the edge of the water at the pool to cool it down and promptly fell in...
 
KayakinBoy said:
one time I was smoking and the girlfriend was beside me. She said something and I pretend that I was gunna burn her with it, and she moved, but then a minute later I did it again and when she didn't move I burned her. Kinda felt bad, but it didn't hurt her to too long. She still laughs about it.
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I would have to admit that would merit a certain degree of retalliation if it happened to me...
Good thing she still finds it funny- :p
 
Last week I was at an outdoor flea market looking for tables, chairs, decorations etc. for the duck club. Walking along OUTSIDE and some br...er ugh, woman walks by waving her hand in the air as to clear the air. I remarked loud enough for her to hear...."my this Cuban really smells great". My friend just laughed and said it smelled better than the redneck's Marbie darts.

No big deal just a flea market.
 
When I was in high school my two best friends and I were all drinking 40 oz Mickey's malt liquor on the Channel Islands jetty in Oxnard (our normal hang-out). We were all smoking Garcia y Vega churchills because we thought we were cool. So...we were kinda drunk and we thought it would be a good idea to "brand" each other to signify our true lifelong friendship. We all took turns putting the cigars out on another guys forearm. To this day I have this insane cigar burn on the inside if my forearm right in front of the pit of my elbow...I guess it was a sign of the things to come for my love of cigars. Now that I have a real appreciation for cigars...it's almost a neat story to tell.

-Fetter
 
Last weekend the wife and I went to an Arts and Crafts Festival about 6 hours away. As usual, I will carry some smokes to take advantage of the open air. We go to the large tents first and as usual no smoking in tents, I wait around and wade through the people and we eventually make it to the outside vendors. After eating I light up a Padron 64 Principe. Just the right size for my time estimate of seeing all the booths, I tend to walk and look fast. I get no remarks but an occasional look or two. The wife goes in this one vendors canopy, didn't see anything to peak my interest so I stay out. The wife calls me in so I held the cigar in my hand close to my chest, crowded in there, then I hear the guy go "there it is". I promptly look at him and we have a short conversation about how he likes how a cigar smells. Then his wife chimes in and says that they remind her of an "Old Man" smell but she likes a pipe but continues on whith the "old Man" comments. To my amazement my wife chimes in to tell her that they don't all smell bad, some actually smell good :) I guess the wife is getting used to all the smells in the garag/workshop. :laugh:
 
We were enjoying a Sunday Brunch at the OUTDOOR tables of a very eclectic Cuban style restaurant located smack in the middle of Polish Town in Chicago. This was the last day of a 3-Day Herf event that I travelled to Chicago for from my home in Jersey. There were about 7 or so of us at our table (located outdoors on the sidewalk) and after really enjoying our brunch - we all lit up our final cigar of the event. About 15 minutes later, this couple of guys with their little white doggie comes to the restaurant and decides to take the table next to ours (there was in fact 1 other table further away available and there was plenty of seating inside the establishment.) Within a minute or so, one of the boys comes over to us and announces that all of the cigar smoke is upsetting his friend and asks that we kindly put out or cigars so they may enjoy their brunch. I normally try to be extra considerate of these types of requests - but the circumstances here were not pointing to the boys getting their wish, after all, they elected to sit next to us when they saw our cigars were already lit. Being from a State known for its hospitality and offering reasonable solutions to potentially ugly situations - I remarked that perchance he would consider moving to a table indoors and away from our cigars. He explained how he couldn't because they wouldn't allow the little white doggie inside the building. That's when a suggestion was made for these guys to attempt to perform a nearly impossible physical act - and after expressing their outrage and horror at the suggestion - they terminated all further conversation with our group. As I mentioned, I really do go out of my way so as not inflict discomfort or annoyance at public gatherings due to my enjoyment of the leaf --but I will not be the only one in the group that is trying to be kind and considerate of others. If anyone else feels they have the right to try and infringe on my right to have a good time when I have taken every precaution not to let my cigar smoke get into anyone else's space - then let the chips (or ash) fall where it may.
 
golfgar said:
Last week I was at an outdoor flea market looking for tables, chairs, decorations etc. for the duck club. Walking along OUTSIDE and some br...er ugh, woman walks by waving her hand in the air as to clear the air. I remarked loud enough for her to hear...."my this Cuban really smells great". My friend just laughed and said it smelled better than the redneck's Marbie darts.

No big deal just a flea market.
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Something along these lines happened to a friend and I, actually about a year ago now, as we were in Little Italy in NYC. The wives were in some store or another, buying purses or whatnot, so he and I were OUTSIDE, on the sidewalk smoking our cigars. Some lady walks by and then very loudly "states," "Ugghhh," waving her hand in front of her nose. Yeah. Nice. We're outside sweetheart, get used to it.

Funny enough, during that very same session, another lady walks by carrying some bag from a high-end store. I think it might have been Bloomingdales or something, so what she was actually doing with it there in Little Italy is still unclear to me. But, she was high-end herself and dressed very nice. But, she walks by and her bag actually tapped my cigar which, at the time, was holding a dam* fine ash. No real worries for me, but the ash then fell on the outside of her bag, besmudging her otherwise immaculate little world. She held it up and titled her nose up, dusting off her bag and looking as if every dog in NYC had just crap*ed right upon her. It was too hard not to laugh at that sight. She was clearly, visibly repulsed when it was she who bumped into me. Out of it all, she apologized to me as well. Ah, I so enjoy a noble upbringing. Goes to show civility is not entirely dead. :D
 
I set my cigar onto the ashtray once, then stepped away from my desk to let my dogs out. My wife was at the desk for a moment, knocked the cigar off into the tray portion, put it back in the notch, but did not tell me. When I took my next draw, I got a mouth full of ash. >< She had bumped the desk so hard, the foot had landed in the ashes..
 
Well there was this one time, this one time at band camp...

Ah nevermind :p
 
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