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Trading or Bombing?

Wascal

Captive of the Dark Side
Joined
Jun 13, 2002
Messages
1,586
Simple enough question when you think the deal wasn't up to snuff. But, when both you and your trading partner think that you got the better end of the deal? I'm sure you have been there, you agree to make a deal and you or your partner add a few bonus sticks. You get your end and the first thing that hits you is you have shorted you partner. Did you really? If you both are more than happy with the deal who got shorted?

Ok, your convinced that you need to make amends because of half a box of Opus the other person bonused you with. How far do you go? Do you send what you think will even out the deal, or do you try to swing the balance back in you favor? None of us want to be thought of as a bad trader so we bomb the other person. Did you do the right thing? Do you in a effort to balance the scales bomb them so bad that they can never recover? :sneaky: :0

We all are here because we enjoy cigars and friendship. I'm sure the last thing any of us want to do is make someone feel bad because of a package we have sent. So that's the question before you, do you try to send a package that's beyond recovery, or just enough to get even?
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Question is open to everyone, but does not


apply to a select few. You know who you are and what's more important I know who you are. :sneaky:
 
I have had a lot of experience in this department. The generosity that has been shown to me has at times been overwhelming. In a recent newbie trade on another list I just joined, we agreed to a simple 5 stick trade. Was a good match-up, we both felt that we were getting a good deal and so we agreed to the trade and sent away. Of course I threw in some bonues as I usually do and I won't kid anyone, I kinda figured I would probably end up with a couple bonuses myself. What floored me though, was that the bonuses was easily worth twice what the trade was intially for. As is apt to happen in these cases I immediately felt guilty, knowing that my end of the trade even with bonuses, didn't even approach an equal share with what I had agreed to trade with him. And then I found comfort in some advice that was handed down by a couple friends on the lists that I have received over time.

1) If, all you are here for is to trade, then you will get exactly what you want, when you want and life will be fine for you. If, you are here to share, to experience and to make friends, then you will end up getting twice as much as you ever dreamed of and giving out twice as much as well that you never thought you could. So what are you here for?

2) Always pay forward and always pay the best that you have in your humidor to spare. Sometimes that might not be much, sometimes it might be a hell of a lot. Either way if your paying forward, then you are repaying the generosity that was shared with you and in time (and yes sometimes it takes some time to build up) you are passing that tradition onward.

3) Generosity, is the name of the game. Yes, different people, with different colelctions, with different finances for their smokes, etc. etc. while the cigars, the number of them, etc. etc. might change, it's the genrosity that people should be looking at. A case in point. I have a friend from another board who every few months sends me a small package of hard to find, rare and very expensive smokes. He assures me that for him it was literally nothing and he shares them with me for only one reason past friendship: he knows I truly appreciate cigars and don't smoke them for socialogical reasons (I'm one of those guys that never smokes a cigar with a band on it - no matter what it is). Every time I offer him what I have in my humi that is of the highest caliber (which is always lower usually than what he has or at best something he has plenty of). He always responds the same way: "I appreciate it, but I don't need it or want it - but I also know one day you will have a smoke I am interested in and at that time I will take you up on your generosity". In other wors, all of this to say is that sometimes people will share because they can and not because they are looking for payback.

4) Never bomb or gift for the intentions of getting something back. Use trading if your looking for a return. While it is always nice to be bombed or gifted, the act itself is more about sharing and offering the hand of friendship or simply helping a brother out rather than the consumer attitude of "what's in it for me". Again, there is trading for that and there is nothing wrong with that. Bonuses, extra sticks thrown in on a trade, etc. is a gift, not a requirement.

5) Back to paying it forward. If someone is sending you dynamite cigars, then by paying it forward, you are taking what you have that you know will be great cigars for someone and send that to them. It's all a cycle and your part of it.

6) The best cigar you have ever had is A) the one you haven't smoked yet and/or B) was somebodies dogrocket - and vice versa. That means while for me, that Partagas ISOM is is an awesome cigar for me to receive, but I know that Perdomo in my humi is an awesome cigar to gift to somebody too (not that I have any - I make it a point to ship those out right away if I ever get any LOL).

So in the end, yes sometimes I get those twinges of guilt when I see I got the much better end of the deal. Then I recall all of the above and more, smile, send my appreciations and thanks to that person and sometime down the road I make someone else's day and bomb or gift them when unexpected or past what was agreed on. And I know how "I" feel when I just gifted somebody or sent them a better end of the deal (which I will be the first to admit isn't that often in a trade - I am much better with bombs and straight out gifts) and the good feelings "I" get from doing that. I have to assume that those who have done it to me have done it for similar reasons and feelings. At that point I truly do appreciate the gift that was given to me and humbled that they are at a point they can do that to me and thought well enough of me to do so.

Thanks for the topic Wascal, I think it is a worthy topic to discuss for sure and considering that I just got abomb instead of a trade I agreed to from the other list, very timely as well.

Sam
 
I thought this would be on topic as well. It is an essay I wrote about a year ago and posted on CF, after recieving one hell of a bomb that included one of those holy grails of cigars, an Opus X. I think it does a good job of explaining many of the points of above and is on topic. So keep in mind, this is form a year ago, not last night LOL.

What cigars are all about – from a Newbie


One of the things about cigar smoking that I enjoy is the contemplative, relaxed and euphoric mood a good cigar normally puts me into. It’s one of those quiet moments in my life, that I can take a step back and just let it all go – the stress, the run of the mill, the boredom, the problems, the expectations and the bull****.

My first fine cigar was about 3 years ago. I had got back from an assignment with a temporary job I had with Southern Company and had a pocket full of cash and wanted to celebrate. Not being a drinker that much anymore I was still an eater so my Melly and I got dressed up, drove the 40 minutes into Birmingham, where we now live and went shopping before going and getting our big meal. In the mall there I came across a curio/cigar store and looked inside the humidor. It was my first time in one. Before that as a teen and a couple of times in early adulthood I had the occasional conveyance store pack – you know swishers.

I inhaled deeply and was amazed at the fragrances I smelled. I decided then that I wanted to try one – but which one? Melly smiled and said that an old friend of hers smoked cigars and that she had heard the best was the Opus X. Sure enough, there was a box of them in this walk-in humidor. If, memory serves me correctly it was an Ops X Fuente Funete. The price: $20. Yes, I now realize that is well above MSRP but at the time with money burning a hole in my pocket and this desire to try it I forked it over without a thought and bought a lighter.

In the car I realized I had no way of cutting the end of the thing so carefully I bite the very tip of it off and lit it up. Heaven… matter of fact within a few minutes I was having Melly drive because I was spinning off this cigar. That was my last one for about 2 years. The expense of cigars was simply not in my budget or time.

About a year ago I got a hankering for another cigar. The first cigar I bought this time? Another Opus X – this one a Chateau Reserve. Matter of fact I even got the box since this was the last cigar in it. I was hooked and soon started buying several cigars at once and trying them all. My first cigars that I had come to like were Por Larranaga’s and CAO Anniversaries. I picked up the CA cigar guide and several copies of the magazine – which I still have to this day.

As things happen I got into some financial trouble and so closed the humidor after my last cigar in it and tucked it away. With these concerns the cigar hobby had to be put aside again, just as it was barely beginning. About 3 months ago, after a move into the city of Birmingham and getting stabilized financially again I decided it was time to pick the hobby back up again. So slowly I started buying cigars – cheaper ones this time, around $3-$7 a stick. I’ve discovered some good cigars in this range – ones which despite some people’s best efforts I still like: the Onyx Reserve, CAO Brazilla’s, Punch Rothschild double Maduro (recommended by someone on this site matter of fact). I also got involved in 2 cigar communities here online (actually more than that but only 2 I am active in).

In one of these communities, I found a very friendly but not overly close community dedicated more to JR Alts and something called a Comanchee than anything else. Oh you see the premium sticks and all but not nearly like you do here. Yet it is a good place for me in a way – matter of fact I have several on that site who actually read and enjoy “my” newbie reviews of the cigars I am trying out. So for now it is a good place.

The other place though is more “home”, though I am still a newbie here, it is becoming a home for me. I have met some wonderful and great people here. At work I have a little poster that quotes Mark Twain:

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really Great make you feel that you, too, can become Great.”

It was here that I started to realize that this wasn’t just a saying but an actuality. People here with little effort on my part really reached out the hand of friendship and we have been getting to know each other ever since. I would even call some of them my friends and the others the same given a little more time for us to get to know each other even better. Many of them haven’t even sent me a cigar nor I sent one to them, which is the point I am slowly getting to.

It was cigars and my enjoyment of those cigars which brought me here, but it is the people and the friendships I have developed over the last couple of months, am currently developing and will develop that keeps me here and keeps me coming back. Oh the cigars are nice and nothing brings a smile to my face faster on some days when after a day’s work I come home to a box sitting there for me to open. But a bigger smile happens when I get online and talk to my friends here and we talk about anything and everything. There is a couple people here I talk PC gaming with, another person introduced me to homemade cajun food, another one shared his experiences in Cuba with me, while yet another one shares his life in Italy with me. Another friend of mine – we whine about how terrible life is to each other, while at the same time discussing the next best cigar we’ve tried and yet another has corrupted me to jazz music.

For the first time in 3 years since I lit that first Opus X I am finally understanding and internalizing what cigar smoking is about or perhaps I should say for the benefit of some: can be about. On an individual note it’s about living life in a slower lane, taking time to recognize and enjoy your surroundings, and enjoying people, enjoying life itself instead of it passing you by day to day. It’s about people from different backgrounds, different interests, different lifestyles and sitting back enjoying the company. It’s about relationships that turn into best pals, networks of people, helping out fellow mankind (as with the auctions). It’s about lighting a cigar and silently thanking and thinking for at least a moment about the person who sent it to you, or gave it to you. It’s about walking into a shop, smelling the fragrances and seeking out that next best cigar – or perhaps revisit an old standby. It’s about getting together with friends in real life and new acquaintances and enjoying each other’s company, with no expectations, no rush, no time limit, and just chill. Learning yourself and learning about others.

This web site, this – community, has helped me recognize all this and indeed as a newbie I am still very much learning. I know this was a long and sappy post but I feel I owed it to you all. Many of you have participated in my education about what cigar smoking is really about: not the cigars themselves, not the gifts you receive, but finding peace and relationships within an ever busy world. Several of you we haven’t even met or been introduced to me but I have been watching, listening and learning from you just the same.

And with that I now have to run along and light up an Opus X for what really will be the first time – the first time I understand what is really behind this mystic band and what is really behind the smoke. If I have any wish it would be to you the reader light up your own cigar and perhaps think on this post – if for just a minute.

Until later,

Sam


Epilouge from today as I post this here on CP. To this day, I will usually only smoke an Opus X in conjunction with me in a serious, contemplative mood on or around a special occassion.
 
Well said Sam and Wascal, but damn you guys are blabby, sheesh, my fingers where starting to ache just looking at the damn posts :p . Anyway you guys pretty much said it all :thumbs:
 
LOL, Gee Parag, You may fly into a lot of trees but I like your nice short answer :p I agree :thumbs:
 
All of those words! My head hurts!
My $.02. When I do trades I only expect what The agreement was, 5 stick's is 5 sticks! If there is bonus sticks great! If not that's great too. I guess it's what you expect, I myself never play fairly. My train of thought is if your going to lay down the destruction.................... The poor basted should rue the day! :sneaky:
 
JOE.M. said:
All of those words! My head hurts!
My $.02. When I do trades I only expect what The agreement was, 5 stick's is 5 sticks! If there is bonus sticks great! If not that's great too. I guess it's what you expect, I myself never play fairly. My train of thought is if your going to lay down the destruction.................... The poor basted should rue the day! :sneaky:
Wow Joe, you are using big words today, did you watch Sesame Street today? :p
 
falling.gif
 
i to have recieved lots of generositie from the people on this board. two examples: there were some memebers getting together and i planned on being there but had a family emergency in fla. well a few weeks later i got packages in the mail that those guys wanted to give me at the herf. they sent anyway even though i couldn't show.

then another brother sent some WONDERFUL sticks my way when all i had was a few let's say dog rockets. in my humi.

now for my end i never have very many gars on hand. i just don't have the funds right now. but when my collection does get up there i send a few packages out. they may only contain 2-5 gars but it's what i can do and totally makes me feel good. and the reciepient has always been grateful and not dissappointed because there wasn't 50 gars in the box.
so it's not the number it's the thought, commraderie and sharing. :love:
 
Excellent topic and excellent posts. I enjoyed reading every word and many there were! Having yet to do any trading I have thought alot about this problem of inevitable inequality. From what I've read it seems to me that the majority of cigar traders are prone to be quite generous in their swaps. If this is the case then I think most trades will end up leaving both parties satisfied. Perhaps the attitude should be that if an obvious effort has been made to be more then fair, well then everyone should feel good about it. I'm sure looking forward to my first few trades as it seems like a win-win to me.

-Craig
 
Bombs from me are usually the how you doing variety. I found these smokes and thought you might enjoy one of them too. Trades are just that and maybe spiced.

Robb
 
Sam, great thoughts on trades. More like words to trade by. :thumbs:

JoeM, you think like I do about bombs, if ya gona do it make it hurt :sneaky: :sign: Please keep in mind the previous statement was made with fun being the underling reason. Ya bomb because ya can and it's fun!
 
The one bomb I sent was fun, and the one bomb I recieved was fun. The person I bombed was nice enough to post a very kind thank you, and I made sure to thank the person that bombed me with an equally sincere posting. Cigars should be nothing but fun.

I just wished I knew more peoples likes and had a wide enough collection to match those likes more often.
 
I have sent out a half-dozen or so packages and traded a time or two. I don't think I have technically 'Bombed' anyone yet because I always tell them that they are coming. I have received several newbie packages and I sent out a pack in return. The newbie packs all had ISOM's in them and I am "King ISOM Idiot!" I sent back some sticks and was proud of my efforts at the time. As I become more educated, I realize that I unintentially shafted some of the great senior members who were nice enough to welcome me to the group. There is one gentleman who will remain nameless that just keeps "sharing the wealth" with me! I have his number though. I am not sure when it will come up, but I am working on it. It is a learning experience and believe me, I am taking notes. I will make good on the bombs I have received. The problem is having the knowledge of what to buy and the availability of such cigars.

Each of us have different financial situations. Some have a vast collection while others may only have a few JR Alternatives in a small tupperware bowl. Some have only ISOM's. No one competes on the same level. In my opinion I have a pretty good collection. I could smoke for a long, long time without buying anymore. Only 8 are ISOM's are only about half are worthy of trading or bombing, but I am proud of it. It probably fails in comparison to some of yours. Everyone, regardless of their inventory should feel comfortable with bombing or trading. If I have only 10 cigars and I gave you 5 of them, and you had 1000 cigars and you gave me 20, who gave more of themselves? (damn, that Bill Clinton keeps coming out of me! "Shut up Bill. Mind your business.") We have all heard the story of the woman who gave everything she had to Jesus which was almost nothing and how he compared her to the rich men who gave gold, etc. I know we are not Jesus and this ain't the Bible but if someone who was interested in cigars, but genuinly had limited resources to acquire them, I would gladly send that person a pack of sticks that he could really enjoy and not expect anything in return. I would get joy from knowing that I added a little something special to his/her life. I would get enjoyment out of hearing how much he enjoyed what I had sent. I think most of us are that way. I know from experience that Joe.M., Shadow, Paragod, Sir-Smokes-a-Lot and RicMac25 are that way. (Not to take anything away from the rest of you fine fellows, I just have not had the opportunity to deal with you yet.) These guys are an asset to CP and to their community.

I think that a person should give of themselves from their heart. Not just in cigar trading but with life in general. If you are proud of your bomb/gift when you lick the stamp, that is all that can be expected. Those who intentially come up short, you have to live with that. You have to answer to yourself.

After that speech, I have got to pack up some boxes and get to the PO. :D

Have a wonderful day!

Steven
 
I have done a lot of trading. Most here, but ocassionally on other boards. Most trades are of the 5 stick blind variety. Here is what I have found:

1. If you have a guilty conscience in general, don't do blind trades with the seasoned vets here. :sign:
2. Most of the time, the guys that are boming people, or sending way too many extras, have too many cigars to smoke in the next 2 years. You are in fact the noble one by giving your friend a medium in which he can exercise his kindness. :sign:
3. I have been bombed by those who would be called the "heavy hitters". Knowing that most of my top shelfs would be their average yard gar, I don't retaliate by lobbing firecrackers when they threw hand grenades. :sign:
4. I keep a list of who has bombed me in my head, so you all are fair game!!! But seriously, in my travels, if I find something that is truely a bomb inside a bomb, I'll get it and strap it on a missle. :sign:
5. Pay it forward it was keeps this site the friendliest site on the net. So exercise your option to pay it forward. Once a month send out a package to some one different. :love:

Emo
 
emodx said:
5. Pay it forward it was keeps this site the friendliest site on the net. So exercise your option to pay it forward. Once a month send out a package to some one different. :love:

Emo
Thats a great idea. :thumbs:
 
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