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"When we have kids, would you stop smoking cigars?"

Thank you to everyone that has chimed in.

Gary, you make a very good point and I too hope to share such fond memories with my children.

Jfields, I too use to be a cigarette smoker and am fortunate to have kicked the habit. You make a very good point about being supportive of your spouse's passions. The hurdle I face is getting her to see it as a passion rather than a bad habit. I think it will come with time and hope she'll come around to it.
 
For me its a different situation. I have older step-children and younger children. The older ones are 20 and 23, the younger ones 7 and 10. I smoke around the older ones, and the boy occasionally will him one himself. The younger ones I typically don't smoke around but wait till after they go to bed. Its not that everything is hidden, my humi's are out in plain sight and occasionally I will be working on them or rotating stock or something while they are here (every other weekend, etc) and I have never once heard them ask or say anything about it. My wife doesn't mind either way and my ex....well that doesn't matter lol.


Everyones situation is different so I think you have to find what works for you (and her) and go from there. I don't know how you jump the bad habit hurdle though. On our yearly trip, which should be on our anniversary but rarely is, my wife will enjoy a cigar with me at least once on the trip. Maybe if you could get her to try something like that, it would be easier for her to see it as a passion.
 
Children are highly overrated. Cigars are not.

Doc.
 
My five year old actually told me the other day he thinks it is 'ok if you smoke as long as you moderate'
 
I grew up in cigarette and cigar filled rooms with the family playing mahjong and cooking food. None of the dozen or so kids and grandkids have any asthma problems, nor cancer. Divorce and gambling problems, yeah, but nothing that a little alcohol and smoke wouldn't fix.
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My wife still smokes cigs and I quit cigs after 28 years, my littlest one had childhood asthma growing up, but we threw her in the water and the swimming strengthened that up. She's all of 13 now and doesn't need any medicine.

I'm not saying cigars and cigs do no harmful damages, but we don't blow the smoke directly at the kids, nor keep the room closed without any ventilation. It's about strengthening the kids to face ALL types of challenges life will bring from emotional, physical and, and mental adversities.

I tell guys that look at my marriage and just say, "She's the only one that can handle me."
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4cbln3 said:
I grew up in cigarette and cigar filled rooms with the family playing mahjong and cooking food. None of the dozen or so kids and grandkids have any asthma problems, nor cancer. Divorce and gambling problems, yeah, but nothing that a little alcohol and smoke wouldn't fix.
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My wife still smokes cigs and I quit cigs after 28 years, my littlest one had childhood asthma growing up, but we threw her in the water and the swimming strengthened that up. She's all of 13 now and doesn't need any medicine.

I'm not saying cigars and cigs do no harmful damages, but we don't blow the smoke directly at the kids, nor keep the room closed without any ventilation. It's about strengthening the kids to face ALL types of challenges life will bring from emotional, physical and, and mental adversities.

I tell guys that look at my marriage and just say, "She's the only one that can handle me."
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Not to get off topic but I think this plays a big part in today's lifestyle. Every one is sick because they are not exposed enough when they are younger and treated like babies. I have a friend who's child fell off a tree in the yard (maybe not even 2ft off the ground) and he came crying to his mother. She went nuts about it and complained about the tree being to easy to climb, lol.
If that would have been me the first think my father would have done is given me shit for being a dumbass. Then we wonder why the kids we hire at our businesses are all demanding and soooo praise needy. I had a talk with an other business owner a few months ago who said when they did their annual evaluations for managers a big portion of the remarks read that they are not receiving enough recognition and praise. He said WTF, they are doing a job and we are paying them for it what more do they want....Anyways, this kinda explains a lot of issues we have that didn't exist years ago am I rite?
 
I might be the odd one out on this but when I smoke a cigar my boys are usually involved. They take turns picking the drink and cigar combination. One goes to the humidor and the other the fridge, then switch the next time around. They both like to smell the beer or prelit cigar. I've even shown the younger one (age 4) how to torch the foot. I don't smoke in the house or in the vehicles as my wife is allergic to smoke and if I'm in the shed I wait until they are running in an out before I get to smoking. I believe there exposure is minimal to second hand smoke but nothing about cigars is hidden. I think that keeping things hidden only makes them more enticing, if it is common place then the awe is not there when their friends pull out tobacco products and booze later.

Maybe I can keep them from drinking and smoking underage by convincing them that their friends don't have anything worth partaking in (read Natty Light and Swisher Sweets) :laugh:

Imperius*Rex said:
Then we wonder why the kids we hire at our businesses are all demanding and soooo praise needy. I had a talk with an other business owner a few months ago who said when they did their annual evaluations for managers a big portion of the remarks read that they are not receiving enough recognition and praise. He said WTF, they are doing a job and we are paying them for it what more do they want....
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This reminded me of a story my dad once told me. He is a retired pipe-fitter. At some point he and a buddy showed up at work in some nasty weather. Only a handful of people showed up that day and due to an impending storm they had to get the plant shut down to a safe level for the storm. Since they were shorthanded they ended up working overtime. Later in the week they received praise and thanks for doing the extra work. My dad says he told them they could show their thanks in his paycheck, they didn't.
 
People typically swat at Gnats, and swallow Camels. They are also usually too stubborn to admit it.
 
Our children are grown up now 19 > 25 so that is not an issue at my house as only the youngest is still at home. We have 2 grandchildren and will not smoke around them, my wife smokes Superkings and I smoke Captain Black Cherry as well as Cigars. If you are worried about second hand smoke then only smoke in a designated area ie. man cave,shed, garage ect.
Being Married with kids does not mean you have to give up the little pleasures in life.
 
I BTW do smoke around my kids. I just make sure I don't exhale directly at them.

If one of my daughters comes out on the balcony, I don't go "OMG" and throw my cigar in a bucket of water.

Your kids get a lot more posion walking down the street with cars, buses, and motorcycles driving by.

All this second hand smoke sillyness is starting to piss me off. Human have been smoking for hundreds of years and the life expectancy keeps going up, not down.

If it was as bad as all the WHO nuts are trying to make it sound, the human race would have died out by now.
 
Wurm said:
I BTW do smoke around my kids. I just make sure I don't exhale directly at them.

If one of my daughters comes out on the balcony, I don't go "OMG" and throw my cigar in a bucket of water.

Your kids get a lot more posion walking down the street with cars, buses, and motorcycles driving by.

All this second hand smoke sillyness is starting to piss me off. Human have been smoking for hundreds of years and the life expectancy keeps going up, not down.

If it was as bad as all the WHO nuts are trying to make it sound, the human race would have died out by now.
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Secondhand smoke is a reason for the Anti smoking nut jobs to make money and not get a real job, and governments to take more of our money. If smoking is so bad then why is it still Legal.
 
The ultimate goal of the anti-smoking lobby is to make smoking illegal, have no doubts about that.
 
Incredible story, Gary. Thank you for posting that.

I hope my kids grow up and eventually realize those kinds of memories, too.

-John
 
jfields said:
Very nice Gary! Very, very nice!

My kids and wife all know I smoke, and they don't complain one bit. Of course I'm respectful, and don't blow smoke in their faces, or smoke in our vehicles.

My wife is especially supportive of my passion and this is important to the health of our relationship. In general we support each other in all of our pursuits and this is what makes it work. You can't marry someone and figure you can change them as you go along, that only ends in a relationship that is resentful, or just doesn't work at all eventually.

She often says she associates cigar smoking as a sign of someone who knows how to relax, and cigarette smoking as someone who does not know how to relax. ....... I've done both and I can tell you I don't need any study to tell me there is a world of difference between the two.

I can see it if you were chain smoking cigarettes, or downing a 5th of Jack Daniels every day. However, I don't think a cigar every day or once a week will hurt one bit.
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Very true John, our wives and girlfriends must honor our 'Passion'...as we would equally support theirs...that is THE key aspect of any relationship...mutual respect for each others personal endeavors. To try to 'change' someone to fit or match your own personal beliefs is more of a slippery slope than they care to admit.

When Michael started this post, I'm not sure he thought it would go this far beyond smoking cigars :laugh: ...but it obviously has started a great topic of discussion that we all can benefit from.

As for our family, my son Anthony would now be a 4th generation cigar smoker...I hold this distinction very close to my heart, as does he. As he gets older and through the discussions we have as we smoke cigars together, the more importance he puts on Tradition & Family. Kind of funny that an indulgence on the brink of extinction can bring so many people closer together. To hear my two kids relay a feeling of home and family in that manner is validation of the same emotions I felt as I grew up...and that is very cool stuff indeed!
 
JHolmes763 said:
Incredible story, Gary. Thank you for posting that.

I hope my kids grow up and eventually realize those kinds of memories, too.

-John
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They will John, that I will guaranty. If you raise your children in a loving home where there are so many pleasant & happy thoughts within their lives, you can't miss. All the cigar smoke does is TRIGGER those happy memories...so the onus is always on us as parents to continue to create those happy moments!
 
Gary,

Never thought about it that way. For a long time I considered actually giving up the hobby when I settled down and had kids. I might have to reconsider.
 
I would like to thank everyone again for sharing their thoughts, but I feel that I need to clarify some things.

Her concern is not second hand smoke as much as teaching them what she considers a bad habit, but what I see as one of my favorite past times. I think jfields hit the nail on the head when he stated that being mutually supportive of each others passions is key to a healthy relationship. And as I stated, it is really up to me to show her why it is a passion (mental well-being, relaxation, friends, community, etc.). Second hand smoke is not an issue as I rarely smoke around her and do not intend to exhale in anyone's face. Similar to many of you, smoking in the car is off limits which is a non-issue.

Fortunately the idea of having children at this point in our lives is out of he question as she will be graduating from grad-school this December and entering the work force. Furthermore we both agree that there is a lot more out there to experience before we can provide our children with a well rounded upbringing. Personally I think we both just want to see the world first. :D

Have a great weekend yall.
 
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