Ah the "OFF Button." The first thought of the "OFF Button" is when the wife says she's gonna kick your arse if you keep buying sticks and spending money all the time on those "stupid cigars!" But you don't stop there, oh no you don't. You're too smart for her. You start getting your shipments sent to a buddy's house, or to your work, and you open up a secret Paypal account to mask your purchasing and you just can't stop.
Then you start taking your video games and hockin' em' on the street corner, trying to make a few more bucks so you can bump your bid on The Devil Site, because you want those Rocky Patel Signature Winter Solstice Collection Torpedoes, complete with a genuine Rocky Patel Action Figure! And you'll be damned if "JS from Eureka, OR" is gonna win your Rocky Patel Action Figure!!
Then, when your wife sends you out grocery shopping with $100 bucks, and you come back with $20 dollars in Beef-favored Ramen, and lie to her about how expensive Top Ramen is these days just so you can pocket that extra cash to get in on punk_lawyer's ACID GB. Look out now CP'er, because you might be closer to the "OFF Button" than you'll ever believe. But you don't stop there, oh no you don't. You've still got a little bit further to fall...
Finally, the day comes when you sit down and realize that you feel like you're cheating on your wife with all of your sneaking around on her, buying here and bidding there. Your children haven't eaten in 5 days, and your second bedroom that was supposed to be your wife's "Craft Room" that you've promised to her even before you two were married and talked about what you wanted your dream home to look like, is filled to the brim with scattered USPS boxes and humi-paks, with random cigars lying about.
Your children walk up to you and tell you, "Daddy... I'm so hungry...why don't we eat here anymore? We eat at Mommy's new boyfriend's house now, why not here?" And you say, "Son, if it weren't for that 5'er that Jlada was selling this week, why, you'd have a big plate of corn flakes in front of you right now..." And you tussle your hungry son's hair, sickened by the fact that you sold out your kid and your wife's love for a cigar.
You're secretly delighted that it was a HTF Opus Prison Shiv Torpedo inspired by ELittle, with a rarity factor of 9/10 on Moki's website. You are confident you haven't overpaid to the Fuente Machine, because High Lord Carlito (as you now call him) would never gouge any fanciful prices on a regular production Opus with a different band and name, right? Oh, if may look, smell, and taste like a regular production Opus, but with that $330 dollar price-tag, you know and believe when High Lord Carlito declares that the blend is just a little bit different...
That's when you've found your "OFF Button."
