mysterea
New Member
...pshhhhh....
So a mentor of years ago said: "disarming any trap is typically a matter of time."
In this case, the artisan was not timing me, in other scenarios things may have gotten pretty hectic.
I suppose I go too far, let me explain..
I had a feeling this was coming, and as such I was well prepared. When I arrived home from the 9-5 and saw this MOAB on my doorstep I knew what I had to do.
I suited up, and attempted to accept the challenge. The wife was away, so I could concentrate. By the end I'll be thanking her for that, things got a bit hairy.
I want to mention a few things from the start, first, this thing, although not built from steel literally took a solid 6 hours of time to open. I'm a patient man, and persistance (beer) was the only reason I'm still standing.
It should equally be mentioned that the crafter of said item knew his materials. Each item seemed to adhere perfectly to eachother, so there weren't any shortcuts, each inch was (holy crap, almost forgot about my cigar! 1 sec.. ahhhkay, hey, tasty!) earned only through sweat (beer) and tears (see previous). The blood I was surprisingly able to retain for a further occasion.
Immediately I notice the solid density of the package, and a divet in the center...
I got curious at the oddity, since it suggests a chemical agent such as FOAM!
Well, I suppose experience pays off.
It took me about 10 minutes to remove the shell of cardboard, I fear the worst. In doing so I realize there's some interesting features on what seems to be a cinder block of FOAM!
Okay, let me tell you something about foam.. it's a freakin bitch. I know, it's easy to cut it etc, and I do that fine, but the stuff is statickey, bulky and obnoxiously yellowey brown. I mean sh*t if the stuff was a cool shade of blue, but really I digress.
So yeah, foam sucks, and I'm looking at a block of it, with what seem to be bolts sticking out of it, perhaps an omen of what's to come?
Well, I peeled away a few bits here and there and come across a dark spot in the foam, what appears to be wood, with a mysterious II marked, and some lovely metal supports (for extra structural integrity!) Clearly my opponent knows his shit. Nice layers of color here huh?
So I hulk out a bit, and remove the rest of the foam, I'd say bare-handed, but you wouldn't believe me. Please note the extensive use of eye protection, again, it's crucial. Hardhat only slightly less so.
This endeavor reveals... Carriage bolts! We're talking 4" steel bolts, serious hardware. No reason to eff around, me and Mr Richard the Snowman are gonna take care of that.
When I first saw the constuction intel I interpreted some comments as possible suggestions of some form of destructive force inside said coffin and decided to take my time. that said, I proceeded to burrow a hole, then trench to gather more information on the contents of said vault. As you can see here I've gained a good visual perspective of said potential contents. Guess what?
I spot what appears to be foam, which suggests possible encasement of any potential trap.
I deem it safe to attempt some real force, in this case in the form of a badass utility knife, we'll call it Horace for this example.
Horace and I manage to score a good cut through a layer near the seam of the construct, and think for a second about what's the best tool to crack this puppy open with?
Hmm, lets see... Drill, hand saw, hacksaw, sledge, hand axe, mallet, jig saw.. aha! a chisel, I scored off my grandpa!
Well, me and that chisel (Horace had started drinking by now) cracked that prick open like a coconut. Peering inside (to spot potential disasters) reveals a band!
The band looks farmiliar, but further examination must be done.
by examination I mean destruction!
Under much duress the egg craaks open revealing a lovely Punch tubo with an amazing smoke inside.
Oh, and another amazing thing, a hair. A hair I'll save for some sick wicked voodoo to gain payback for such an excellent feat of craftsmanship and excellence.
As you can see, someone's a brunette.
Joe, I wanted to thank you for the excellent challenge, and of course for the treat contained within. It's clear to me you know your materials well.
Gnite,
Rob
So a mentor of years ago said: "disarming any trap is typically a matter of time."
In this case, the artisan was not timing me, in other scenarios things may have gotten pretty hectic.
I suppose I go too far, let me explain..
I had a feeling this was coming, and as such I was well prepared. When I arrived home from the 9-5 and saw this MOAB on my doorstep I knew what I had to do.
I suited up, and attempted to accept the challenge. The wife was away, so I could concentrate. By the end I'll be thanking her for that, things got a bit hairy.
I want to mention a few things from the start, first, this thing, although not built from steel literally took a solid 6 hours of time to open. I'm a patient man, and persistance (beer) was the only reason I'm still standing.
It should equally be mentioned that the crafter of said item knew his materials. Each item seemed to adhere perfectly to eachother, so there weren't any shortcuts, each inch was (holy crap, almost forgot about my cigar! 1 sec.. ahhhkay, hey, tasty!) earned only through sweat (beer) and tears (see previous). The blood I was surprisingly able to retain for a further occasion.
Immediately I notice the solid density of the package, and a divet in the center...
I got curious at the oddity, since it suggests a chemical agent such as FOAM!
Well, I suppose experience pays off.
It took me about 10 minutes to remove the shell of cardboard, I fear the worst. In doing so I realize there's some interesting features on what seems to be a cinder block of FOAM!
Okay, let me tell you something about foam.. it's a freakin bitch. I know, it's easy to cut it etc, and I do that fine, but the stuff is statickey, bulky and obnoxiously yellowey brown. I mean sh*t if the stuff was a cool shade of blue, but really I digress.
So yeah, foam sucks, and I'm looking at a block of it, with what seem to be bolts sticking out of it, perhaps an omen of what's to come?
Well, I peeled away a few bits here and there and come across a dark spot in the foam, what appears to be wood, with a mysterious II marked, and some lovely metal supports (for extra structural integrity!) Clearly my opponent knows his shit. Nice layers of color here huh?
So I hulk out a bit, and remove the rest of the foam, I'd say bare-handed, but you wouldn't believe me. Please note the extensive use of eye protection, again, it's crucial. Hardhat only slightly less so.
This endeavor reveals... Carriage bolts! We're talking 4" steel bolts, serious hardware. No reason to eff around, me and Mr Richard the Snowman are gonna take care of that.
When I first saw the constuction intel I interpreted some comments as possible suggestions of some form of destructive force inside said coffin and decided to take my time. that said, I proceeded to burrow a hole, then trench to gather more information on the contents of said vault. As you can see here I've gained a good visual perspective of said potential contents. Guess what?
I spot what appears to be foam, which suggests possible encasement of any potential trap.
I deem it safe to attempt some real force, in this case in the form of a badass utility knife, we'll call it Horace for this example.
Horace and I manage to score a good cut through a layer near the seam of the construct, and think for a second about what's the best tool to crack this puppy open with?
Hmm, lets see... Drill, hand saw, hacksaw, sledge, hand axe, mallet, jig saw.. aha! a chisel, I scored off my grandpa!
Well, me and that chisel (Horace had started drinking by now) cracked that prick open like a coconut. Peering inside (to spot potential disasters) reveals a band!
The band looks farmiliar, but further examination must be done.
by examination I mean destruction!
Under much duress the egg craaks open revealing a lovely Punch tubo with an amazing smoke inside.
Oh, and another amazing thing, a hair. A hair I'll save for some sick wicked voodoo to gain payback for such an excellent feat of craftsmanship and excellence.
As you can see, someone's a brunette.
Joe, I wanted to thank you for the excellent challenge, and of course for the treat contained within. It's clear to me you know your materials well.
Gnite,
Rob
