StogieFarts
New Member
This was actually sent to me many weeks ago, but I wanted to get pics of the object before posting it.
So I come home from work one day and my heart starts racing. You know what I mean, guys.....that same feeling when you're about to get a good blowjob, or when you see a really hot female gorilla in the zoo.
I end up seeing a large Priority Mail package on my doorstep. Knowing that it was either a severed head or some cigars from the fine BOTL's here on the forum, I raced to open it up.
I see that it's from Joe (aka JGohlke) here at CP. Keep in mind that him and I just completed a sweet Newbie trade, so I was delighted that he was sending me even MORE cigars. I felt like that kid at Christmas time who gets the one bonus present that he never knew he had.......except this wasn't Christmas, and Joe certainly isn't Santa Claus, despite how many young boys have sat on his lap.
So I open the package, and what do I see? A really nice wooden box......obviously well constructed to protect the goodies inside:
I can hardly contain my excitement. Keep in mind that I have been reading nonstop about the other bombs that members of CP find, which are packed with all kinds of tobacco porn. I was beginning to get a boner.
I tried to quickly open the top but it was locked. After closer inspection, I noticed a small nail securing the lid on top.......so I pulled it.
BIG MISTAKE!
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As soon as I pulled that nail, I heard a very loud SNAP!
In addition to urinating, defecating, and ejaculating all at the same time, I began to pat myself down, making sure that loud noise wasn't a gunshot which perhaps pierced my body and my mind hadn't realized what had happened yet.
After a minute, I determined that it wasn't a gunshot and the sound came from INSIDE the box. I slid the lid open to discover this:
That's right, a goddamn mousetrap! Not a small one either, but a commercial size monster trap, used to trap deer and wild coyotes I reckon. No cigars, no porn, not even a dead rat that I could freeze and eat like a popcycle. The only thing in that box was my impending heart attack from the loud snapping noise that may have shattered my window if I were standing any closer to it.
So thanks Joe.....you scared the hell out of me, and I had fun the entire time!
So I come home from work one day and my heart starts racing. You know what I mean, guys.....that same feeling when you're about to get a good blowjob, or when you see a really hot female gorilla in the zoo.
I end up seeing a large Priority Mail package on my doorstep. Knowing that it was either a severed head or some cigars from the fine BOTL's here on the forum, I raced to open it up.
I see that it's from Joe (aka JGohlke) here at CP. Keep in mind that him and I just completed a sweet Newbie trade, so I was delighted that he was sending me even MORE cigars. I felt like that kid at Christmas time who gets the one bonus present that he never knew he had.......except this wasn't Christmas, and Joe certainly isn't Santa Claus, despite how many young boys have sat on his lap.
So I open the package, and what do I see? A really nice wooden box......obviously well constructed to protect the goodies inside:
I can hardly contain my excitement. Keep in mind that I have been reading nonstop about the other bombs that members of CP find, which are packed with all kinds of tobacco porn. I was beginning to get a boner.
I tried to quickly open the top but it was locked. After closer inspection, I noticed a small nail securing the lid on top.......so I pulled it.
BIG MISTAKE!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
As soon as I pulled that nail, I heard a very loud SNAP!
In addition to urinating, defecating, and ejaculating all at the same time, I began to pat myself down, making sure that loud noise wasn't a gunshot which perhaps pierced my body and my mind hadn't realized what had happened yet.
After a minute, I determined that it wasn't a gunshot and the sound came from INSIDE the box. I slid the lid open to discover this:
That's right, a goddamn mousetrap! Not a small one either, but a commercial size monster trap, used to trap deer and wild coyotes I reckon. No cigars, no porn, not even a dead rat that I could freeze and eat like a popcycle. The only thing in that box was my impending heart attack from the loud snapping noise that may have shattered my window if I were standing any closer to it.
So thanks Joe.....you scared the hell out of me, and I had fun the entire time!
