Rodrigo de Jerez
I get to give myself a title?
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2007
- Messages
- 946
In regard to spelling and grammar
- Thread starter Dr. Marneaus
- Start date
tomthirtysix
Wishing I was as cool as Phil
The funny thing is, I bet the people who should read this thread completely skip over it.
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
Does anyone remember the first person here to start busting balls about spelling and grammar on a fairly regular basis? ???
I think they used to make fun of him and call him "The Grammarian" or "Mrs. Crabtree." :laugh:
Yeah, he's a dick...
I think they used to make fun of him and call him "The Grammarian" or "Mrs. Crabtree." :laugh:
Yeah, he's a dick...
gregor22
Woof!
Does anyone remember the first person here to start busting balls about spelling and grammar on a fairly regular basis? ???
I think they used to make fun of him and call him "The Grammarian" or "Mrs. Crabtree." :laugh:
Yeah, he's a dick...
Yeah, and he keeps flipping off the camera when pictures of him at the herf are taken. :laugh:
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
Does anyone remember the first person here to start busting balls about spelling and grammar on a fairly regular basis? ???
I think they used to make fun of him and call him "The Grammarian" or "Mrs. Crabtree." :laugh:
Yeah, he's a dick...
Yeah, and he keeps flipping off the camera when pictures of him at the herf are taken. :laugh:
Diesel Grinch announced he'd give free koobans to anyone who would "Show me you're number one!" every time he snapped a picture.
The bastid owes me at least a CAB of SLR Serie A. :angry:
northernmoris
FFOX Whore
Bump for the new crowd.
LarianLeQuella
Elf Wino
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don’t.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and excessive.
14. All generalizations are bad.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not, necessary.
22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Don’t overuse exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words’ that show possession.
27. Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters
35. People don’t spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.
36. Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly
37. All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan’s Law.
38. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
39. The dash – a sometimes useful mark – can often be overused – although it’s a helpful tool sometimes.
40. Proofread carefully to make sure you don’t repeat repeat any words.
41. In writing, it’s important to remember that dangling sentences.
41. When numbering in a written document, check your numbering system carefully.
42. It is important to use italics for emphasis sparingly.
43. In good writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution.
44. Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject -- not the subject of a sentence -- that's another story (like the stories written by Ernest Hemingway, who by the way wrote the great fisherman story The Old Man and the Sea).
45. Complete sentences. Like rule 10.
46. Unless you're a righteous expert don't try to be too cool with slang to which you're not hip.
47. If you must use slang, avoid out-of-date slang. Right on!
48. You'll look poorly if you misuse adverbs.
49. Use the ellipsis ( . . . ) to indicate missing . . .
50. Use brackets to indicate that you [ not Shakespeare, for example ] are giving people [ in your class ] information so that they [ the people in your class ] know about whom you are speaking. But do not use brackets when making these references [ to other authors ] excessively.
51. Note: People just can't stomach too much use of the colon.
52. Between good grammar and bad grammar, good grammar is the best.
53. There are so many great grammar rules that I can't decide between them.
54. In English, unlike German, the verb early in the sentence, not later, should be placed.
55. When you write sentences, shifting verb tense is bad.
2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don’t.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and excessive.
14. All generalizations are bad.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not, necessary.
22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Don’t overuse exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words’ that show possession.
27. Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters
35. People don’t spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.
36. Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly
37. All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan’s Law.
38. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
39. The dash – a sometimes useful mark – can often be overused – although it’s a helpful tool sometimes.
40. Proofread carefully to make sure you don’t repeat repeat any words.
41. In writing, it’s important to remember that dangling sentences.
41. When numbering in a written document, check your numbering system carefully.
42. It is important to use italics for emphasis sparingly.
43. In good writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution.
44. Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject -- not the subject of a sentence -- that's another story (like the stories written by Ernest Hemingway, who by the way wrote the great fisherman story The Old Man and the Sea).
45. Complete sentences. Like rule 10.
46. Unless you're a righteous expert don't try to be too cool with slang to which you're not hip.
47. If you must use slang, avoid out-of-date slang. Right on!
48. You'll look poorly if you misuse adverbs.
49. Use the ellipsis ( . . . ) to indicate missing . . .
50. Use brackets to indicate that you [ not Shakespeare, for example ] are giving people [ in your class ] information so that they [ the people in your class ] know about whom you are speaking. But do not use brackets when making these references [ to other authors ] excessively.
51. Note: People just can't stomach too much use of the colon.
52. Between good grammar and bad grammar, good grammar is the best.
53. There are so many great grammar rules that I can't decide between them.
54. In English, unlike German, the verb early in the sentence, not later, should be placed.
55. When you write sentences, shifting verb tense is bad.
Dude Love
Bacon aficionado
I think my head just exploded.
trogdor burninator
New Member
That's an awesome list of rules. 
I think his point must be not to post at all. :sign:That's an awesome list of rules.
smokintexas
What have I gotton myself into?!
I'd be interested to see if any of you can create a sentence that breaks all 55 of those rules, I nominate CC! :sign:
trogdor burninator
New Member
Haha, it's a joke post. Each rule has the error/annoyance in it.
Devil Doc
When Death smiles, Corpsmen smile back
smokintexas
What have I gotton myself into?!
I don't get it.
AVB
Jesus of Cool, I'm bad, I'm nationwide
I like 29.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
trogdor burninator
New Member
Each line breaks the rule being described. A few examples:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. ("HAS" does not agree with the subject)
2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. ("with" is a preposition that is ending the sentence)
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. ("And" is a conjunction that's starting the sentence)
etc.
Devil Doc
When Death smiles, Corpsmen smile back
trogdor burninator
New Member
Sorry, didn't know if he was being serious or not. I apologize for my failure.
