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My granddaughter called today to tell me she made up her own two jokes. Here they are for your enjoyment. - what is the fastest light on earth? A Flashlight. - what were the results of the dog's Covid test? Pawsitive.

How do you get a farm girl to marry you? Attract her.

I don't think I suffer from insomnia, but I suppose it's not out of the question. I wake up at 230 or 300 and I'm wide awake with zero chance of falling back to sleep. I'm solid the whole day though - I don't feel tired. I usually just go to work after an elongated morning routine.

We should all aspire to leave such an incredible legacy. My condolences.

That reminds me - What do John the Baptist and Frosty the Snowman have in common? Same middle name.

Of course I was kidding. Mistress for Christmas. Thread jack is done.

Hell's Bells?

Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one photo ID for them, though. ... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal What did the Latino fireman name his twin boys? Jose and Hose B

Ditto.

SORRY FOR THE TEMPORARY THREAD JACK Wedding went great. No hiccups or screw-ups. I got a lot of compliments afterwards. Thanks for asking.

And running all over Costco.

The sad part is we were supposed to take your boys to a park.

Seriously, I was just going to post that the last number of jokes are not repeatable to kids. Which reminds me of the time my mom started to tell my 12 year old daughter a joke with "2 lesbians walk into a bar..." I shut it down.

As I was writing my last reply I realized this thread could get political real quick. That's not my intention here, so keep it clean of the controversial...please.

It definitely explains the polarity of opinions and veracity that people have.

Curious if you've watch this documentary on Netflix. If so what are your thoughts?

I guess I could have eliminated a lot of confusion by posting a video. Thanks.

Try Marked for Death. I don't think he runs much in Under Siege. Don't worry there's boobs in Marked for Death.

I was watching a newer Segal movie and noticed how much weight he's put on and how full his fight scenes are. So I watched a couple of his older movies and saw that he runs like a girl...but his fights are great. How can a guy that BA run like a pu...er...sissy? Mostly it was a random thought...

Or does Steven Segal run like a girl? (No offense to female athletes).