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Anyone have Breakup/Relationship Help avail?

audilicious said:
This isn't just a girlfriend, I guess some of you don't get that.
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Actually that has no bearing on the matter. She's her own person and doing what she wants at this point in time. You can't control that, so you may as well do what you want without her.

SamClemmons is right.
 
I had a marriage of 22 years end 11 years ago, I recently broke up with a girlfriend that I lived with for 4 years and what gets me through this type of thing is the words of wisdom my father gave me after the marriage broke up:

"There's always another tin can in the dump son, let her go!"

I don't know if this helps you or not, but it worked for me.
 
Sorry to hear about this, Kyle. I hope to see you on Thursday in Monrovia. I'll get the first round!
 
After going back and reading this thread I must echo the other posters. I've met you and you're a quality dude. You're also in a metropolis with 1.5 million other chicks. I can appreciate what she meant to you but it's time to move on. Follow her cues; she's already started dating so it's time for you to get back out there! I'm prone to develop feelings and "crushes" even still but as I always tell myself, "In a city of millions of other girls on a planet where they outnumber us males, what sense does it make to get so pent up over one?"

You seem to have "one-itis" and now would be great time to hook up with your closest friends and go out for a night on the town!
 
I don't want to throw gas on the fire but I have to second much of what has been said here, especially by Jon ( "souldog24ca")...He hit it all right on the head.


She's gone, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on but most importantly learn from it.
 
IMHO, you have to work it out for yourself.

The advice of others doesn't really help.

Just know that time helps, but the hurt may
never go away completely.

Chemyst :cool:
 
Allofus123 said:
You do realize this is a cigar BB you just posted this on right?

Strap your balls back on.....get off the computer..... and go get laid! She dumped you, move on to the next. Listen to Mr Clemmons very wise words.
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I got here late, but that's about what I would have written.

Doc.
 
For what it's worth -

I can't compare my experiences to yours, nor should anyone - what you're going through is unique to you and tough to get through for you.

What would I do? Well, I've done all the dumb things that you've done, probably more. I know the right way - keep the high ground, walk away and don't look back- and, more importantly, so do you. If you're coming here, and saying what you're saying, you already know it. Every other post in this confirms and reconfirms it. We sympathize, but man, you already know what to do. You just don't want to have to do it.

The key question is not "what should I do", it's "how do I do what I know I should do". I admit, much tougher, but take it hour by hour. You don't have to worry about oh-my-god-I'm-never-going-to-talk-to-her-again ... you just have to suck it up and not pick up the phone today.

Hold yourself accountable and keep yourself together, because you don't want to be That Guy whose friends have to hold him together and keep him away from his ex ... much less That Guy who Souldog and his brothers have to arrest. Do you really want to be known as That Guy With The Restraining Order? Reputation's everything and the world is much smaller than it seems.

Last but not least, invest in yourself. Go to the gym, go out with your friends. Do anything other than mope. It doesn't make sense, it's not going to make sense, and you'll only drive yourself crazy trying to make it make sense. Chalk it up to experience, put your energy into improving yourself, and move on.
 
There comes a time in a man's life when he has to find out who he is and wants to be. Sounds like your time My friend.

Sorry to hear about your loss; however, you never know what life will bring you.
 
Whatever doesn"t kill you makes you stronger. Just walk away brother... it'll hurt... but you'll get over it and you'll be a better person for it.

Like Black Cloud said.....we need to hook up on Thursday for a little herf......
 
I know when depression hits for deaths in the family, ect..., I always make it a point to exercise and really focus on my diet. It sounds kind've gay, but it helps me. I would highly recommend it to anyone who isn't feeling 100%
 
Charley said:
Whatever doesn"t kill you makes you stronger. Just walk away brother... it'll hurt... but you'll get over it and you'll be a better person for it.

Like Black Cloud said.....we need to hook up on Thursday for a little herf......
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A very good and popular statement that has lots of merit. I modify it slightly and say, " Whatever doesn't kill you makes you smarter." Stronger means you have the strength to get through it again. Smarter means it's never going to f-in happen again. Best of luck...now go get yourself laid.
 
Kyle, I am a girl and I am saying the they same thing. You need to move on. You can't make someone love you. I know it is hard to lose someone that you love. But it is better to have loved then to never have loved at all. Now you know what to do when you meet your soulmate.
 
Go hit a few bars with your buddies and checkout the other fish. If all goes right, you'll be back in the game before you know it.

If you're lucky, you'll have a few ladies looking like KetchTwenty2s avatar.
 
audilicious said:
I'll fill in more when I get home.

I've gotten to see her once in person, laid out everything, but she's in this denial mode, like a broken record running in her head. "not in love, haven't been, need to move on, my mind's made up" repeating everytime I start to break down her walls.

She's angry because I repeatedly broke her heart, never appreciated her, called names, focused anger at others on her.

I've now had my moment of clarity, and have been touched through all of this. I haven't touched drugs or alcohol, I don't get mad, I've been using the sedona method and it's amazing.

I've dumped her before and she never quit on me, never stopped with the calls, the letters, the text msg's, never ever gave up. Now after we were in love, the morning of we made each other glow with small gestures and comments, but I called her selfish, and she snapped, like I seriously broker her, and now she's malfunctioning.

i was going to propose later this year and marry her early next, but it's like I scared her or something, I really don't know.

Also need to add, that she's never been angry in her life, and is saying she's not angry. But everything she's doing is anger, yet trying to wear a smile to everyone.
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I'm going to take the Dr Phil path here. Are you fooking serious? You have to ASK why she hit the bricks? You say best friend and soul mate, but you treat her like this? I'm seriously surprised she put up with you this long. I can't say where you should look for your next soul mate, but you should let this woman go. She's never been angry? Nope, she's never ADMITTED to being angry and most likely doesn't express anger. Shit built up till she couldn't take it any more. YOU shoved her out the door. You need to move on.
 
You're definitely hurting now and I can absolutely sympathize with that. Just know that once you do finally get over her, you'll feel great and you'll wish you had done so sooner. It's hard to take advice from people who just say "Get over it!", but speaking from experience, once you do get over it, you'll end up kicking yourself wondering why you wasted so much time feeling sad and depressed when you could have used that time constructively to find a way to make yourself happy instead of depending on another person as the source of your happiness, which brings me to my next point.

DO NOT BASE YOUR HAPPINESS ON ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. People suck and will always let you down. As long as you can find happiness within yourself, you don't need anyone (girls, friends, etc.) to keep you happy. I'm certainly not saying that people shouldn't make you happy, but no person should be the sole source of happiness in your life, because they will likely disappoint you.
 
Hey Kyle, I've got a simiar situation going on right now, albeit different.

I haven't shared this with the CP whole, because I figure it's just too personal to get into, but my wife of 8 years and I just recently divorced a few months ago. Reasons, not important.

But after a couple of months, I feel like I see more clearly now that I have in a long time.

Robert Frost said it best for me when he said: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."
 
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