I'll fill in more when I get home.
I've gotten to see her once in person, laid out everything, but she's in this denial mode, like a broken record running in her head. "not in love, haven't been, need to move on, my mind's made up" repeating everytime I start to break down her walls.
Yeah, it's been a month, and she's dating. You probably shouldn't be chasing her down and trying to convince her she still loves you. I foresee restraining orders in your future...
She's angry because I repeatedly broke her heart, never appreciated her, called names, focused anger at others on her.
As you've clearly stated, this is probably a good indicator of why after 8+ years, she left you. You took her for granted, broke her down emotionally, second guessed her worth, and verbally abused her. I fail to see why you're asking for advice that can undo 8 years of you acting like a jerk and magically bring her back to a point where she loves you and wants to spend the rest of her days with you?
I've now had my moment of clarity, and have been touched through all of this. I haven't touched drugs or alcohol, I don't get mad, I've been using the sedona method and it's amazing.
Good! Were you using them while in this relationship with her?
I've dumped her before and she never quit on me, never stopped with the calls, the letters, the text msg's, never ever gave up. Now after we were in love, the morning of we made each other glow with small gestures and comments, but I called her selfish, and she snapped, like I seriously broker her, and now she's malfunctioning.
I don't think she's malfunctioning based on the behavioral patterns you established towards her for the past 8 years. If anything,
she's finally got her head right and is functioning normally. You can only beat a loyal dog so long until it leaves you, friend.
Also need to add, that she's never been angry in her life, and is saying she's not angry. But everything she's doing is anger, yet trying to wear a smile to everyone.
Is it probable that you are the one who is actually angry that she has finally left you? I mean, you gotta look at that possibility. Of your own volition, you weren't exactly Prince Charming to her...
All I can say is give her some space. Like, seriously. You may be doing good as far as drugs and alcohol, but all it takes is one angry evening when you're filled with booze to get yourself slapped with a domestic charge (243(e)(1) PC or 273.5 PC, a
mandatory arrest offense), a threats charge (422 PC, a felony), or an annoying phone calls charge (653M PC, a misdemeanor). Not to mention, if you freak her enough, she can get a restraining order. Here in Cali, they hand them out like candy my friend.
Just take a break from it. It's been a month, she's dating, she's trying to move on. Work on unscrewing yourself, and if it doesn't happen between you two, well then you have learned how
not to act in your next relationship... :angry: