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Blind Review II

My son told me this one when he was 7 years old.

Dad, all the people in West Virginia have to drink their ice tea warm now.

Why son?

The woman that knew the recipe for ice died.


You can substitute Texas, Kentucky or Arkansas for WVa. ;) :p
 
Triple_D said:
How old are your children so I know exactly how clean to make the joke.
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The youngest one is 10 with the other two being 12 and 16 so you might want to keep that in mind. As much as "I" liked the I-da-ho joke it will not make the cut to be read to the kids. I don't think they could tell that one at show and tell. :)

Keep it real clean folks. :thumbs:
 
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed "Special Ross". After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him "Leonard Cheeks". Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched.

What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them: "Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin' bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!"
 
Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.

"Certainly madam," he replied.

"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

"Morning madam...sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book.

We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.

"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"
 
Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

Mexicans were crazy about the stuff.

The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today.

















It is known, of course, as ...Sinko de Mayo.
 
A New Yorker flies into Dallas. He gets off the plane, checks into a room,decides he's hungry,and goes to a steakhouse.

He looks over the menu and orders a cold beer and a steak. The waitress brings out the beer and sets it down.

The New Yorker looks at the beer. He notices the glass is three feet tall and a foot and a half wide and is overflowing with beer.

He says,"Lady how can I possibly drink all this?" The waitress says, "Get used to it. Everything is ten times bigger in Texas."

The Waitress then brings out his steak. It's hanging over the sides of the biggest plate he has ever seen. This thing must have weighed ten pounds.

He says, "Lady how can I possibly eat all this?"The waitress says, "Get used to it. Everything is ten times bigger in Texas."

After the meal the New Yorker is a little tipsy and very full. He asks the waitress,"Which way is the restroom?" The waitress replied, "Go down the hall and it's the first door on the left."

The intoxicated New Yorker stumbles down the hall and takes the first door on the right promptly falling into a swimming pool.

He was last seen floundering around the pool screaming "Don't flush it.!!!"
 
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
 
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."

The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."

The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."

The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.

Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
 
Another week of rest and we'll get this show on the road. :thumbs:

We'll leave the "Clean" joke line open until Saturday, May 1st. Keep em coming! :)
 
OK, so nobody knows very many clean jokes. :D The joke contest is close and I will read the appropriate ones to the kids this wkend and allow them to choose a winner. :thumbs:

I believe everyone has been resting their cigars for approx 2/3 weeks now and its time to get BLIND REVIEW II underway. Feel free to smoke cigar #1 at your leisure. The review for the first cigar is due by May 9th (or earlier) so take your time and smoke it when you are not rushed. Once you have smoked the cigar you will need to fill out a review form that you will find HERE. You can not leave any question blank so be sure to answer all questions as best you can. Once finished hit the submit button and you are finished with our first cigar. The form is actually quite simple and once again I need to thank SD Stack for the use of it.

As soon as I have all the reviews in for the first cigar we can start discussing it. Have fun and if you have any questions let me know.

BTW, I have had a question or two from a few people questioning if I am pulling some kind of joke with some of these cigars. LOL Who me? :0 Since some of you know me, I suppose its a fair question. Keeping with my theme of trying to not have any preconceived notions pertaining to any of the cigars...... I'm not telling! :p :D
 
Allofus123 said:
BTW, I have had a question or two from a few people questioning if I am pulling some kind of joke with some of these cigars. LOL Who me? :0 Since some of you know me, I suppose its a fair question. Keeping with my theme of trying to not have any preconceived notions pertaining to any of the cigars...... I'm not telling! :p :D
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If any of these cigars explode in my face, I'm coming down there to kick your ass. :)
 
There has been a Horrible Tragedy that resulted in the loss of a great cigar ???

There was a fire, a very hot fire, and Cigar #1 has succumbed to it. I did say a few words over the remains ;)

Oh, and I submitted those words :p
 
PuroBrat said:
There has been a Horrible Tragedy that resulted in the loss of a great cigar ???

There was a fire, a very hot fire, and Cigar #1 has succumbed to it. I did say a few words over the remains ;)

Oh, and I submitted those words :p
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:p
 
PuroBrat said:
"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"
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I know the contect is over, but I just remembered this one (I copied the text, but knew the joke):

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Cheers,
Dixie
 
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