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*Contest* Pick Up Lines - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

These are bad...

"Did you get a ticket on your way here tonight because you've got "Fine" written all over you."

Or this variant which I actually used (to no avail)...

"Those pants should be illegal because your ass has "Fine" written all over it."

Then there's Benny Hill's...

"If I told you you had a lovely body would you hold it against me?"
 
Little story before I give my line. As some of you know I am deaf, but I happen to have an great talent (not all deaf people can do this, most can not) of reading lips. Well in the past when I would go to a bar, I would try to find a girl kind of watch her and try to pick up on some things she was talking about to make a good conversation starter. However, problem was I often gave the tips to my buddies, ( I can account for many of their "special nights") because it would be so damn loud in the place, I would have a hard time introducing myself because I couldnt hear her very well. As you hearing folks know, you tend to talk into the ear when it gets loud, me I need the person to stay in front of me so i can read your lips. Some girls for some reason got turn off. Maybe it was because they thought I was picturing my "manhood" in her mouth. :sign: So I was like, WTF, where is the deaf bar.

This got me my future wife.

(this was all done in sign lang.)Me: "Hey I heard you like to snowboard. Her: yeah I am alright. Me: well I am terrible can you show me how?
Next day: we went boarding and I kept falling and falling :whistling:. Last winter, (Dating for 2 years) We went snowboarding again, She said: Hey, what the hell were you doing on the half pipe? :rolleyes:

David
 
How would you like to feel the way she looks ?

You get a canoe later and I'll paddle you.

The last time I saw legs like that was on a billiard table.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me
more of you than you do!

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

-------------------

That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks
 
The contest is closed, It's getting late so I will read through these in the AM and pick some lucky winners. :thumbs:
 
Now that the contest is over here is one that probably the most likely "not" to work.

You........"Do you know why it was so hard to communicate with Helen Keller?"

The girl......"Ummmmm maybe because she was deaf, dumb, and blind?"

You........."Nope, because she was a woman"
 
CigarStone said:
Now that the contest is over here is one that probably the most likely "not" to work.

You........"Do you know why it was so hard to communicate with Helen Keller?"

The girl......"Ummmmm maybe because she was deaf, dumb, and blind?"

You........."Nope, because she was a woman"
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I slap the girl before she slapped you, calling Helen Keller Dumb? gezzz :sign:
 
That reminds me of a joke ... why does Helen Keller wear tight pants ... ?

So you can read her LIPS! :whistling: :sign: :laugh:
 
Contest is over.

This one is more of an insult than a pick-up line, but it's great if you want to give your buddies a laugh:

'You look familiar. Didn't I f* you once?'
 
haha, definitely some good ones in here.

I thought of this one after I posted, so I waited til the end for it.

"F*ck me if I'm wrong, but don't I know you?

edited to capitalize my I's
 
Don Guido said:
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together"
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Someone else watches Seinfeld? :laugh:

I still haven't gotten a chance to read through all three pages yet and narrow down the winners.

However, since tomo is my last day to ship this week, and Im already going to the PO, winners will be posted right around lunch time...

And so the suspense remains for 8 more hours. :whistling:
 
This I feel has to be a winner to completely turn someone off: :laugh:

gtadroptop said:
In college, my buddy used this line on a girl in a bar one night:

'You wanna go back to my place for a pizza and a f*k?'

'No', she replied.

'What's the matter, don't you like pizza?', he said.

The line didn't work, but we laughed our a**'s off the rest of the evening.
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As far as a classic, that worked:

Spad31 said:
On our first date, I asked her if she wanted to skip the awkward boyfriend/girlfriend phase and just get married in the morning. She agreed, stayed the night and moved in the next day while I was at work. Been 13 years last July.

Your mileage may vary!

Trey
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