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Getting married very soon!

Congrats on the wedding. My wife and I will be married seven years this June.

My advice to you would be to make time for each other and for yourselves.
 
Don't go to bed angry at each other. Communicate. Problems get worse when they fester around for a few days. Inner dialogues get you more worked up than any outer dialogues will. And the outer dialogue is what usually fixes the problem.

No matter what the situation is, find a solution that works for the both of you. If fiscal separation fits, do it; if not, don't. Spending plans, where the dog pees, who vacuums the carpet, how many hours/month you can spend with the guys, child discipline; it all figures in.

Be smart. Always think things through as much as possible. Things said in the heat of the moment may not be able to be taken back.

Respect that she may handle things differently than you do. If I have a bad day, I typically would rather spend my time alone. My wife would try to hang around me and get me to talk to her about it, and it irritated me more than what happened during the day. I told her this and now she does as I ask because she understands that this is how I work things out, and respects that this is the way I deal with adversity.

Don't dictate to her, and don't let her dictate to you. Don't say, "I'm buying a Corvette, and it doesn't matter what you think." Don't let her say, "I'm buying 6 pairs of heels and a $1400 bag, and I don't care if you need to work overtime to pay for it."

I am in no way a highly religious man, but Ephesians sums it all up very well

"Submit to one another" Marriage is a two-way street. Traffic must flow both ways for it to work.


-C
 
TheVitaleMob said:
Don't go to bed angry at each other. Communicate. Problems get worse when they fester around for a few days. Inner dialogues get you more worked up than any outer dialogues will. And the outer dialogue is what usually fixes the problem.
No matter what the situation is, find a solution that works for the both of you. If fiscal separation fits, do it; if not, don't. Spending plans, where the dog pees, who vacuums the carpet, how many hours/month you can spend with the guys, child discipline; it all figures in.

Be smart. Always think things through as much as possible. Things said in the heat of the moment may not be able to be taken back.

Respect that she may handle things differently than you do. If I have a bad day, I typically would rather spend my time alone. My wife would try to hang around me and get me to talk to her about it, and it irritated me more than what happened during the day. I told her this and now she does as I ask because she understands that this is how I work things out, and respects that this is the way I deal with adversity.

Don't dictate to her, and don't let her dictate to you. Don't say, "I'm buying a Corvette, and it doesn't matter what you think." Don't let her say, "I'm buying 6 pairs of heels and a $1400 bag, and I don't care if you need to work overtime to pay for it."

I am in no way a highly religious man, but Ephesians sums it all up very well

"Submit to one another" Marriage is a two-way street. Traffic must flow both ways for it to work.


-C
Click to expand...

I have to disagree with this one. Go to bed angry and sort it out in the morning. If you are pissed off and it's late, arguing while tired never ends in a happy place. The few hours of simmering or stewing will give both of you a chance to think about what's already been said. I'm not saying to ignore whatever the problem is, I'm saying don't let fatigue become a factor in the situation. Tired words are rarely settle anything and settling the arguement just for the sake of not going to bed angry is not a true solution.

On the lighter side; I told my wife that I'm a Catholic and do not believe in divorce; but the church loves a widower!! We argue much less now!!

Other than that...good luck and I hope you never have to sleep with someone that's uglier than the person in the mirror!!

Cheers,

Tony
 
Thanks to all who posted, some great advice to be had here. I'm very excited to take this next step and look forward to many years with my new wife. :D
 
Congratulations !!

No words of advice from this young'un; not like I have any advice anyways.

:)
 
Congrats!

The best piece of advice that was passed to me was, "don't sweat the minor BS." I tried to pass that to a friend of mine. He didn't listen and now after 6 months they are constantly butting heads.


Nasty, I totally feel your pain about the Coach bags.
 
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