Good comebacks

[Lumberg]

Here's where you post your favorite comebacks, ones that you wished you'd used or have used with success.

I'll start:

If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart.

 

[gawntrail]

If I want your opinion, I'll tell it to you!

But, it's a dry heat man!

Did you pay for that haircut?

I'll bet you mom is REAL proud of you.........

(to my wife especially) .......yeah, I know I'm an asshole and.............


-M. Gipson

 

[sir-smokes-a-lot]

oh wait, were you still talking?

:sign:

 

[Josh]

People have always seemed to be pretty agreeable towards me. But I do carry a big knife.

 

[SamGuss]

When you get turned down by a woman:

Don't be so damn picky - I wasn't!

One of those "yo mamma" jokes:

If, your mamma had change for a quater, I'da been your daddy punk.

Good all-around insult:

What did you dad do? Whack off in a flower garden and raise a blooming idiot?

And from Shrek

That'll do donkey, that'll do.

Sam

 

[cigarsarge]

When your boss on your nerves:

If assholes could fly you'd be a jet!!! :0 :0 :0

 

[Lumberg]

c'mon guys you can do better than that.

If I wanted any **** out of you I'd squeeze if from you.

If I wanted any Lip from you, I'd pull it out of my zipper.

 

[Bobbyson1a]

If it wasn't for a$$holes there wouldn't be $hit like you.

 

[dixieland_conjunction]

I know you are, but what am I?


:sign::sign::sign:


Cheers,
Dixie

 

[geldor1]

A direction.


Answer to the much too often asked, 'what's up?'.

 

[BACCHUS]

A direction.


Answer to the much too often asked, 'what's up?'.

Good lord! I thought that was a typo when I first read it. Me and my dirty mind!

 

[Captain B]

A good answer when people tell you "they said so" - like when you ask someone where they heard something or someone says "They say cigars are bad for you"
"They said? Who's they, the 25 jackasses running around in your head?"

 

[gkpk]

LMAO.....Good one Captain B!!!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.

Just popped in my head...

 

[Fast4Dr]

When someone includes you in their "we" such as you wife saying "We are going shopping"

We? What do you have a mouse in your pocket? :sign: :sign: :sign:

 

[AVB]

You've obviously mistaken me for somebody who gives a ****.

 

[nic]

...I may be dumb but atleast I'm ugly.

 

[ricmac25]

If I wanted any **** out of you I'd squeeze if from you.

I prefer a slightly different variety of this one, sometimes used on that special student:

If I wanted **** from you, I'd squeeze your head.

 

[Wascal]

Did ya momma have any kids that lived? :lookup:

 

[oak]

One of my hero's favorite lines: "Bite my shiny metal ass."

One I've actually used at my last job: "Oh yeah? How about I throw you through the nearest wall?"

Cheers,

- Oak

 

[SD_Stack]

Hey! :thumbs:

Why didn't anyone tell me that the "Board Wide Policy Changes" had reverted back to the old way? ???