Negative Crap

[JoeInvest]

Guys,

I'm just one little player in this community of ours and I am not a mod or an admin or anything else. This is not my board, it's Rod's. I stay on the side quite often when things start getting hot in here, but I need to get something off my chest.

I have found that there has been more flaming going on in the last month or so than in the first two years I was a member here. I'm sure that some of it is warented, that some of those who are the targets of this are deserving in many ways. I'm just getting tired of seeing thread after thread about who is an idiot or whatever and who is not. I don't read a lot of it, some I do.

This is a cigar website, a cigar community and I would love to see it go back to that. The "Lobby" is one of the first places I look when I log on and that seems to also be the place that this slamming is happening the most.

I'm not here to be the board police, I'm no great mediator, I'm just sad that it has come to this. Many of you will probably not agree with me, which is fine, but I for one am tired of all the crap.

Can we get back to normal (small spats from time to time) now, please!?!

 

[lucasbuck]

Amen! :thumbs:

 

[blair]

Everyone here will agree with you (as I, of course, do.) I just hope people don't agree, like puppets, that this is want they want; but agree that this is what they will do. :thumbs:

 

[cvmfour]

Ditto to that! Seems like a pretty "down" place to be lately

 

[blair]

... another thought (Deep Thoughts - by Blair Fonville)

How about this: As soon as the person on the receiving side of a good ribbing becomes offended, the ribbing stops.

Simple?

We can't all walk on eggshells around here. The fun must go on. But, if the person (or rather, if the ribbing is done correctly, I should say when the person ) with his pants down becomes offended, let's all give him some room to pull up his drawers.

IMO

 

[BACCHUS]

I agree with what you are saying, to a point. But I would disagree that the current discourse is unusual, or mean spirited. I have been a member of this board for just a little over a year, and I have seen this happen several times. It is not something that any of the participants want to do, but it is a necessary function that I have witnessed the FOG's do from time to time. If the FOG's did not police the board the way they do, I doubt that many of the "good" guys would stay with this board for very long.

 

[Lee]

I'm curious Joe as to how you think we should handle the Henry's, Sushi's, Gamelovers, Big Wac's, etc. when they do what they do????

Sorry to disagree with you but the "oh, can't we all just get along" gig isn't realistic in life, much less on a friggin internet site.......

Tell me, how would you handle it when these guys start crap with our brothers???

 

[blair]

I'm curious Joe as to how you think we should handle the Henry's, Sushi's, Gamelovers, Big Wac's, etc. when they do what they do????

Sorry to disagree with you but the "oh, can't we all just get along" gig isn't realistic in life, much less on a friggin internet site.......

Tell me, how would you handle it when these guys start crap with our brothers???

There needs to be a better way to resolve problems with this type of person, such that it doesn't pollute the whole forum. When I play online poker, the members of the table can each cast a vote for expulsion. If everyone at the table has caste a vote, the offender is booted. Perhaps we could adopt such a system. For example, each member has a tally that is viewable only by that person. When the tally reaches a certain number (10 for instance) the person is suspended (perhaps for a month).

As a concrete example, suppose I start pissing everyone off one day. The next day I pull up my profile and see that I have 9 votes. I know I am treading on thin ice, so I apologize to CC for calling his mother a whore. CC then retracts his vote and I have 8. In time I can either bring my votes down, or build them up to suspension or expulsion (maybe 30 votes is an expulsion.) Votes are cast anonymously, an offensive person immediately sees that he has a problem (and either shapes up or is shut up), and the forum is left unadulterated.

 

[JoeInvest]

I'm curious Joe as to how you think we should handle the Henry's, Sushi's, Gamelovers, Big Wac's, etc. when they do what they do????

Sorry to disagree with you but the "oh, can't we all just get along" gig isn't realistic in life, much less on a friggin internet site.......

Tell me, how would you handle it when these guys start crap with our brothers???

Lee,

I'm not saying not to out a thug when he needs outing. I want nothing but for the BOTL to be protected. I'm not even talking about squables that come up from time to time. I'm with you on all of that.

I think what I'm talking more about is the piling on that seems to take place and entire threads and polls about how big of an A$%h&&* someone is or might be. It's the ruthlessness that is shown to people who have been outed, after, long after they have been outed that I'm talking about. Being mostly guys, we know that we are just big kids inside and the name calling, bitching, fighting, etc. just gets old after a bit.

When someone is wronged and when "we" are taken advantage of by someone on this board, out that person, rail that person and make that person very uncomfortable about trying to stay here, fine. But, after a time, once the dust settles and that lowlife is gone, what is the point.

I hope that clarifies.

Take care,

Joe

 

[Lee]

In all honesty Blair, I doubt that would work here....

But actually, I'm curious as to how Joe and others think we should deal with the problematic folks who drop by from time to time.

Not being sarcastic, want answers!!

Thanks

 

[Lee]

I'm curious Joe as to how you think we should handle the Henry's, Sushi's, Gamelovers, Big Wac's, etc. when they do what they do????

Sorry to disagree with you but the "oh, can't we all just get along" gig isn't realistic in life, much less on a friggin internet site.......

Tell me, how would you handle it when these guys start crap with our brothers???

Lee,

I'm not saying not to out a thug when he needs outing. I want nothing but for the BOTL to be protected. I'm not even talking about squables that come up from time to time. I'm with you on all of that.

I think what I'm talking more about is the piling on that seems to take place and entire threads and polls about how big of an A$%h&&* someone is or might be. It's the ruthlessness that is shown to people who have been outed, after, long after they have been outed that I'm talking about. Being mostly guys, we know that we are just big kids inside and the name calling, bitching, fighting, etc. just gets old after a bit.

When someone is wronged and when "we" are taken advantage of by someone on this board, out that person, rail that person and make that person very uncomfortable about trying to stay here, fine. But, after a time, once the dust settles and that lowlife is gone, what is the point.

I hope that clarifies.

Take care,

Joe

I see what you're saying about that stuff.......

I personally think it's entertaining watching a meltdown, starting polls, etc.

Also, the polls say it all (consensus)

 

[JoeInvest]

I'm curious Joe as to how you think we should handle the Henry's, Sushi's, Gamelovers, Big Wac's, etc. when they do what they do????

Sorry to disagree with you but the "oh, can't we all just get along" gig isn't realistic in life, much less on a friggin internet site.......

Tell me, how would you handle it when these guys start crap with our brothers???

Lee,

I'm not saying not to out a thug when he needs outing. I want nothing but for the BOTL to be protected. I'm not even talking about squables that come up from time to time. I'm with you on all of that.

I think what I'm talking more about is the piling on that seems to take place and entire threads and polls about how big of an A$%h&&* someone is or might be. It's the ruthlessness that is shown to people who have been outed, after, long after they have been outed that I'm talking about. Being mostly guys, we know that we are just big kids inside and the name calling, bitching, fighting, etc. just gets old after a bit.

When someone is wronged and when "we" are taken advantage of by someone on this board, out that person, rail that person and make that person very uncomfortable about trying to stay here, fine. But, after a time, once the dust settles and that lowlife is gone, what is the point.

I hope that clarifies.

Take care,

Joe

I see what you're saying about that stuff.......

I personally think it's entertaining watching a meltdown, starting polls, etc.

Also, the polls say it all (consensus)

Yep, I know it can be entertaining! I'm just speaking for myself and for what I'd like to see this community be. Some of the stuff can be a riot, but some of it just goes over the line, in my humble opinion.

I knew you were not being sarcastic, Bud. I don't worry about you!

Joe

 

[Lee]

NP, but just think about it......

If nothing was said to these clowns......and they were left alone to do what they do and we did nothing, what would this board look like to you?

 

[BACCHUS]

Blair, I understand what you are trying to accomplish with your 10-point system, but if you think about it, isn't that just another form of censorship? The prolonged threads only result when the person who is the subject of the thread doesn't get it. By talking it through (or typing, as the case may be) the subject of the thread may experience a meltdown, but they usually wind up getting it, at least to some degree. There are a number of very valuable members of this board who have had severe meltdowns that were very public. I think those members are now better members because of the ensuing discussions, and I think this is a better board because of those discussions.

If you don't like the discussion in any given thread, stop reading the thread.

 

[blair]

In all honesty Blair, I doubt that would work here....

That does it! :angry: I'm casting vote to kick you off. ...now where is that damn button...

.

Honestly though, I know that it would work. And (programmatically) it would be easy to implement. What would happen is this: Everyone would have as few persistent votes in their profile (everyone has someone who hates them), but the votes would be fairly unwavering. If a person joins a pass, however, and screws everyone he could expect to have a bunch of votes pour in. But that would probably still leave him under the suspension mark (because there are only so many people who read pass-threads with which they are not involved.) But, I bet the next time he screws someone over his votes would put him over the threshold.

 

[BACCHUS]

In all honesty Blair, I doubt that would work here....

That does it! :angry: I'm casting vote to kick you off. ...now where is that damn button...

.

Honestly though, I know that it would work. And (programmatically) it would be easy to implement. What would happen is this: Everyone would have as few persistent votes in their profile (everyone has someone who hates them), but the votes would be fairly unwavering. If a person joins a pass, however, and screws everyone he could expect to have a bunch of votes pour in. But that would probably still leave him under the suspension mark (because there are only so many people who read pass-threads with which they are not involved.) But, I bet the next time he screws someone over his votes would put him over the threshold.

Blair, I am 41 years old. If I am going to start worrying now about what 10 other people think of me, especially since there are over 1200 members of this board, I might as well pick up my marbles and find another game. I'm sorry, but I think your proposal would be the death of this board.

 

[blair]

isn't that just another form of censorship?

I don't think so. I just think it is a more peaceful way of telling someone that he is being an a-hole.

If you don't like the discussion in any given thread, stop reading the thread.

I agree with you there. And to a large extent, I love reading those threads!

 

[blair]

In all honesty Blair, I doubt that would work here....

That does it! :angry: I'm casting vote to kick you off. ...now where is that damn button...

.

Honestly though, I know that it would work. And (programmatically) it would be easy to implement. What would happen is this: Everyone would have as few persistent votes in their profile (everyone has someone who hates them), but the votes would be fairly unwavering. If a person joins a pass, however, and screws everyone he could expect to have a bunch of votes pour in. But that would probably still leave him under the suspension mark (because there are only so many people who read pass-threads with which they are not involved.) But, I bet the next time he screws someone over his votes would put him over the threshold.

Blair, I am 41 years old. If I am going to start worrying now about what 10 other people think of me, especially since there are over 1200 members of this board, I might as well pick up my marbles and find another game. I'm sorry, but I think your proposal would be the death of this board.

Well maybe 10 was a bit too low. But, honestly Bacchus, you would have nothing to worry about. Nor would I. Only the person who simply wouldn't get it, and when it got to the point where enough was truly enough. A vote caste should be done with maturity and reserve. And there should be a number which is large enough to constitute a consensus.

 

[blair]

In all honesty, if I presented a poll in regards to implementing this idea... it would be shot down in 15 minutes. I know that. But, for argument sake, I do think it would work. It would make a strong point to the person and I bet he'd stfu (at least for a while.)

 

[SamClemmons]

Nope. I rarely call anybody names. I use creative license to illustrate my displeasure with the actions/comments of an individual. When free and fair discourse is not longer acceptable I will go to a place where it is acceptable. If the threads bother you... don't read 'em. If you let guys roll in here and show their a$$es with impunity You're gonna get guys rolling in here and showing there a$$es. How'd that be?

Blair - If you did something like that you would get a pass. You've been here long enough and showed enough integrity to slide on a few trespasses. The guys here know how this works... you get called on an issue and you either apologze and 'get your head right' or you take the beating. Done. Clean. Efficient.


Bacchus - Don't I remember you from another board from around '99 or '00? I think the board finally dried up but I was gonna do a buy with you way back. You the same guy? Can't remember the board.

Anyways, I don't pee down a guys' neck for grins or because I don't like 'im. I bust on 'em cause I think their doing wrong. And, I do it after talking about with other guys through PM's and a consensus is reached. It isn't what it looks like.

Thanks for the thought though.

Cheerio,

NA