psyktek
Frugal Old Fart!
How old are we, anyhow?
Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite
fast
food when you were growing up?"
"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All
the
food was slow."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"
"It was a place called 'at home," I explained. "Grandma cooked every
day and
when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining
room
table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to
sit there
until I did like it."
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going
to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about
how
I had to
have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my
childhood
if I
figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a
golf
course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their
later years
they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good
only at
Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is
no Roebuck
anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because
we
never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50
pounds, and
only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my
grandparents
had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they
bought a
piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue,
like the
sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was
red. It
was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across
someone's
lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the
TV to
make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie."
When I
bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off,
swung down,
plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
best
pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our
family
was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a machine."
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in
the
living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had
to listen
and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the
line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers
were
delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a
newspaper, six
days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents.
I
had to
get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42
cents from
my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents
and
told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones
who seemed
to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies.
Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing
and
they
didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies.
French
movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may
want
to
share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just
don't
blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to
be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December)
and he
brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a
stopper with
a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but Kati had
no
idea.
She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I
knew it
as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle"
clothes
with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the
ones
you
were told about! Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records, 78 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
Don't forget to pass this along!!
Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite
fast
food when you were growing up?"
"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All
the
food was slow."
"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"
"It was a place called 'at home," I explained. "Grandma cooked every
day and
when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining
room
table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to
sit there
until I did like it."
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going
to
suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about
how
I had to
have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my
childhood
if I
figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a
golf
course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their
later years
they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good
only at
Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is
no Roebuck
anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because
we
never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50
pounds, and
only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my
grandparents
had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they
bought a
piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue,
like the
sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was
red. It
was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across
someone's
lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the
TV to
make the picture look larger.
I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie."
When I
bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off,
swung down,
plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
best
pizza I ever had.
We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our
family
was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a machine."
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in
the
living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had
to listen
and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the
line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was. All newspapers
were
delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a
newspaper, six
days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents.
I
had to
get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42
cents from
my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents
and
told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones
who seemed
to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the
movies.
Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing
and
they
didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies.
French
movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may
want
to
share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just
don't
blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn't what it used to
be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December)
and he
brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a
stopper with
a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but Kati had
no
idea.
She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I
knew it
as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle"
clothes
with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the
ones
you
were told about! Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records, 78 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!
Don't forget to pass this along!!
.
