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Smoking Cigars with Disapproving Parents

blusoul

New Member
Joined
Apr 29, 2013
Messages
3
Hello, I'm new to the forum and wish to dive deeper into the cigar culture, discovering better quality cigars. Currently I am 18 years old (soon to be 19) and living with my parents while attending college. As the title says, my parents, or atleast my dad is against smoking in any shape or form, we only had two smokers in the family and that is my cousin and my great uncle who i only saw once in my life. I've been interested in cigars for about a year and a half now, so far smoked some romeo y julietas and macanudos, obviously smoking out of their sight. Many threads i see with this same situation, show the new smoker being honest with their parents and it comes off as not big of a deal. Well... I'm not so sure with my father, because he even enforces his no smoking rule on my cousin who only smokes cigars. What he usually does while at my cousin's house (he is 28) and if he sees cigars or accessories is he throws them away or tosses them out the window, even going to the extent of throwing away his roommate's cigarettes. I wanted to actually make this a hobby of mine, buying a small humidor to start and explore, though I'm afraid my father would just throw everything away, plus I'll feel like some addict when i only smoke behind parent's back. I understand I'm living under his roof, though I don't want to be constantly paranoid of a new interest of mine. Any advice? Thanks everyone
 
I think you hit on most of what you should do. Be upfront so that you're not hiding it, even if you're not doing it in his presence. He sounds pretty emotional, so I don't think any amount of polite discussion will change his mind. I think you're stuck with "his roof, his rules" until you get your own place. Don't keep anything in the house otherwise I'm sure it'll get thrown out.
 
I'm going to guess this is your intro so welcome to CP from Southern NH! First off I'm 29 and if any of my uncles came into MY house and threw any of my cigars, lighters or any of MY stuff away or out the window he would find himself getting tossed out the window... IMHO your Dad sounds like he is going to be a prick about it no matter what you do or say. If you like cigars and want to pursue it further go for it and just be honest but it sounds like you know what is going to happen and be prepared for that when it does.
 
Good Luck,
Paul
 
Purchase what you need when you go out.  Don't build a supply of cigars until you have a safe storage area.  It isn't that you are a junkie, it's you respecting your parents hosehold rules.
 
Take it easy on dad.  He thinks he is doing the right thing for you.
 
Welcome to CP man. Paul pretty much said what I think anout it.
 
You think this is bad? Wait until your kids are old enough to give you shit about your smoking.

Doc
 
You live under their roof, respect their wishes.  If you can't see eye to eye on this, move out and get your own place.  Not everyone understands the cigar culture.  Or, just rent a cigar locker at your local BM and smoke away from your parents house.  Good luck, and welcome to CP!
 
I think the only solution is to either rent a locker if you have a BM near you, or just ask a good friend to keep your cigars. And don't smoke in the house  :rolleyes:
 
-Catalin
 
I agree with what everyone has said.  I would have a discussion with my father about it, but be prepared for the consequences on your discussion.
 
It also seems as though he is being a bit crazy with the anti-smoking thing.  I would not stand for anyone (family or not) coming into my home and throwing away my cigar stuff, or any of my stuff for that matter.  If they don't approve of smoking, I have no problem not smoking while they are around or while at their house; but don't come into my house and start throwing my stuff away because you don't approve of it.  That would get you thrown out of my home,and you would not be welcomed into my home again.
 
Plenty of time in life for cigars - spend some time with your Dad doing something you both enjoy.
 
MilesMingusMonk said:
Plenty of time in life for cigars - spend some time with your Dad doing something you both enjoy.
Good advice right here....
 
You have been given some great advice. I was lucky enough to be able to smoke a few cigars with my father. He only smoked them with me, and only when I provided them. He didn't smoke, but he understood and enjoyed our bonding time with cigars. He passed away not too long ago and I would give anything to spend another day with him, with or without cigars.
Your father thinks he's helping you, so remember that. Like others have said, find something you can do with him to spend time together. You can bring up your interest in cigars while doing something else with him. Also, if you don't know you can ask him why he is so dead set on not smoking. He may have lost someone close to him that you don't know about.

Just my .02, good luck.

Ian
 
Great advice everyone, yes he is a great man and can respect the point where he comes from, probably should have known he gets too emotional with things. I guess it all boils down to him wanting to protect his son(only child) so it makes sense. Everyone has good qualities and flaws, though he seems protective of almost everything, which when i want to experiment usually forces me to go behind his back which i don't like to do. Especially in that he puts his beliefs on everyone in the family and always gives them advice on what to do, even though they never ask for it. Always wants to be the boss I guess, but oh well he's my father that i respect haha. Also, what is BM? sorry still kind of new and almost forgot greetings from CA!
 
A BM is something altogether different than a B&M

Doc
 
broblues said:
Purchase what you need when you go out.  Don't build a supply of cigars until you have a safe storage area.  It isn't that you are a junkie, it's you respecting your parents hosehold rules.
 
Take it easy on dad.  He thinks he is doing the right thing for you.
 
Beliva me, the Father knows as Pope John Paul wasa not happy with me either.
 
Gotta agree. Hell at my age my parents still get pissy about it so I just make sure that anytime I go over there I don't herf the day before. Parents, no matter your age, will always be your parents and in their home its their way or the highway, especially if you are living under their roof.
 
I always mess with my mom and tell her if she b!tches about it if we ever have to put her in assisted living or worse case, a nursing home, I'm putting her in one like you see on "Dateline NBC", the one where they only wipe once a week. Or like Ben Stiller in "Happy Gilmore" "You will go to sleep grandma or I will put you to sleep."
 
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