Woke up Saturday morning to the tune of my better half reminding me of the many honey-dos that awaited me. Rolled out of bed, showered, ate and lit the first of the day, a nice Don Diego Robuto, as I sipped the last of my Bolivian Dark Roast on the patio. It was 10am when I finally got going and lit up my second for the day, a Partagas Black Label Magnifico. Now where is that list? Oh, hardware store, nursery, and mom's house to check up on her. Completed all of my chores and returned home to settle in for the NCAA game, Mizzou and Marquette. Checked the mail box and saw that the postman had tried to deliver a package that needed a signature. The package was from someone named "Smith". Hmmmmmm! Don't recall a Smith that I'm corresponding with currently. Oh well, I'll have the wife pick it up on Monday. Lit up the 3rd for the day, a Diamond Crown #2, and watched the game. Mizzou lost. Bummer of a weekend. Monday got up went to work and came home (short and sweet, huh!?) Wouldn't you know it, the wife forgot to pick of the package at the PO. Who is this Smith person? Anyway, stopped by the PO on Tuesday and picked up the package. Quite large, looks like a cigar pass package...don't remember being in a pass currently. Oh, well..it doesn't look dangerous. Hopped in the van to take the package home. On the way, I saw two gorgeous chicks thumbing a ride. Stopped to give them a lift. They hopped in and I drove off. No later than 30 seconds after they got in, they pulled a Mission Impossible face change. After pulling off their disguises, they had that Iraqi Saddamish look. I knew I was in trouble. They searched the van for weapons (futile, as I do not own a weapon of destruction). When they could not find anything, they eyed the box I had just picked up at the PO. Without so much as a Howdy Do, they tore open the box and saw the multitude of wonderful smokes put there by the previous passers. Their interests were zeroed in on the isoms and other premium stogies therein. Needless to say, they helped themselves to the best. Luckily, they did not have the time to look at them all before they ordered me to stop the van. They quickly hopped out (with cigars in hand) and I just as quickly sped off, noticing in my rear view mirror the duo putting on their disguises again. With my nerves rattled, I finally made it home. Took the box to my office to see what damage had occured. The box appears to be well worn but still serviceable. I carefully inspected the cigars and found that almost all were in excellent shape. My inventory of the box determined that the hijackers had taken the following cigars:
Bolivar Churchill
Cohiba Robusto
Partagas Perfecto
CAO Odyssey
GPECC
La Aroma de Cuba Double Corona
Cohiba Dominican
Montecristo 5x40
Jose Marti Robusto
La Flor de Maria Mancini
La Luna Fuerte Natural
Jose Piedra Nacionales
Bahia Gold Churchill
Rafael Gonsalez Petite Corona
Macanudo Dude of Devon Maduro
CAO Lancero Extreme
Perdomo Reserve #4 Rosado
La Vieja Habana
Pruos Indios Viejo
Being the low-down, scum sucking, rat ass-licking people that they were, they threw in the following suspect cigars:
Bock y Ca Churchill Oscuro
Te Amo Double Perfecto Maduro
La Fontana Vintage Churchill
Mi Favorita Rosado (2)
Cuesta Rey Pyramid #9
Onyx 852 Maduro
Mayorga High Octane Toro Maduro
GCC Torpedo
Indian Tabac Chief
Bel Mondo Churchill Natural
Victor Sinclair Churchill
Espinosa Churchill
Cuesta Rey Centenario #60 Maduro
Sherpa Presidente Maduro
Sherpa Churchill Maduro
St. Charles by Torano Robusto Maduro
Soleares Petite (2)
Big Butt Gordito Maduro (2)
Bolivar Robusto
Perdomo "The Cigar" Churchill Maduro
Napa Reserve by Don Diego Churchill
Bad Frog Corona
Helix Robusto Maduro
After seeing their puts, I felt that the box was somehow not in the same shape as I received it, and even though I had no part in the above, I felt that it was my responsibility to make the box whole again. Having felt that, I put in the following additional cigars:
Montecristo Double Corona
H Upmann #2
Arturo Fuente Hemingway Signature (5-2000)
Perodmo2 Descartes Maduro
Perdomo2 Descartes Cameroon
Diamond Crown #2
Macanudo Prince Philip Robust (5-2000)
CAO Trois Diamants Magnum Maduro
Partagas Black Label Magnifico
This whole ordeal has left me shaking quite violently. So much so that my insurance agent has told me that if it continues, he will have to cancel my earthquake insurance. Go figure. Oh well, I needed to reduce my cigar inventory anyway, just wish I had the opportunity to try some to those premium cigars that the Sadammish hijackers took....Gee I never had some of those...
Anyway, I have repackaged the box and I will be heading out to the PO this afternoon to post it. The confirmation number is:
0103 8555 7491 4940 5174
Mark Reinhold should have the box in his hands by Friday or Saturday.
Mark when you get this package be sure to check behind the bushes for more of these Saddamish looking Iraqi henchmen. And please don't pick up any good looking chicks thumbing a ride. That is all. Out.
Mark H
