Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[Scap]

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like bananas.

 

[Scap]

What kind of shoes do Ninjas wear?

Sneakers!

 

[Scap]

Couldn't figure out the seatbelt, then it clicked.

 

[drunkfish3]

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents!


Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

 

[drunkfish3]

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo… ones really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

[kann]

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents!


Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

 

[smellysell]

 

[H. Vachon]

I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef made meringue.

I was surprised, because normally Australians boo meringue..

 

[kann]

 

[smellysell]

 

[kann]

View attachment 32770

These are my people...

 

[kann]

A man presented to the emergency room with six plastic horses in his rectum. Doctors report his condition as stable.

 

[H. Vachon]

A man presented to the emergency room with six plastic horses in his rectum. Doctors report his condition as stable.

That’s messed up lol

 

[CigSid]

That’s messed up lol

Nick, these are DAD jokes... not personal stories that may or may not be true

 

[Thoughts]

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language

I stayed up for hours last night trying to figure out where the sun went… Then it dawned on me

 

[smellysell]

 

[drunkfish3]

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

 

[Thoughts]

This one only works online, but I know I will get some sighs, which fuels me.


Doctor: due to an emergency, we had to remove your colon
Me wait, what?

 

[smellysell]

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

Cow with one leg? Steak

 

[drunkfish3]